Need help with Romans 9

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A Calvinist can use Romans 9:1-29 to make a pretty good argument that God creates people specially for salvation or damnation. Can someone provide a pretty detailed Catholic answer to this notion, particularly addressing verses 10-13, God loves Jacob and hated Esau before either were born.
 
Romans 9:21-22 Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour? What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destructionThis is Paul saying “what if” because God indeed has the power to do that. But these verses do not say God creates people for the purpose of sending them to hell or that He deprives them of any grace to get to heaven.

The analogy in this chapter is of “clay.” The potter has control over clay because it is malleable, soft. But what else does Scripture tell us? We are not to harden our hearts. We are to thus remain like the clay God wants to mold, and if we let Him, He will lead us to His eternal kingdom.

In the Old Testament, if you follow the story of Pharoah in Exodus, it seems like half the time the text says “Pharoah hardened his heart” and the other half the time it says “The Lord hardened Pharoah’s heart.” So you see how the concepts can be seen interchangeably? If Pharoah hardens his heart, God lets him (and will still bring about his will through Pharoah’s decision) so in another sense God being sovereign is said to “harden Pharoah’s heart.” And you remember in Romans 9:18 it says God hardens who He wants to harden. In the same way, when Paul says God could create a vessel of wrath, it does not mean the person spoken of would not have the free will to choose God. And it would still make sense to say God wills to harden those who reject Him.

St. John Chrysostom, writing around the 4th century, interpreted the verses in question this way:Here it is not to do away with free-will that he says this, but to show, up to what point we ought to obey God. For in respect of calling God to account, we ought to be as little disposed to it as the clay is…And when he does go on to say, Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honor, and another unto dishonor?* do not suppose that this is said by Paul as an account of the creation, nor as implying a necessity over the will, but to illustrate the sovereignty and difference of dispensations**; for if we do not take it in this way, various incongruities will follow, for if here he were speaking about the will, and those who are good and those not so, He will be Himself the Maker of these, and man will be free from all responsibility. And at this rate, Paul will also be shown to be at variance with himself, as he always bestows chief honor upon free choice. There is nothing else then which he here wishes to do, save to persuade the hearer to yield entirely to God, and at no time to call Him to account for anything whatever. For as the potter (he says) of the same lump makes what he pleases, and no one forbids it; thus also when God, of the same race of men, punishes some, and honors others, be not thou curious nor meddlesome herein, but worship only, and imitate the clay.*More to come…
 
Also, we need to consider the analogy of the potter & clay with its use in Scripture. Consider the following Old Testament passage bearing very close resemblance to Romans 9.*Jeremiah 18:5-10 Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying, O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel. At what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, and to pull down, and to destroy it; If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them. And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it; If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them.*You see how God tells us that the kind of potter He is relates to the obedience of the “clay” in question. He does not forge persons to do evil without ever giving them the grace to turn to Him. Rather God chooses to form the obedient into good vessels but leaves the disobedient to their own wills. Either way, He is totally in charge because as the giver of life, He can have any reason to build up or destroy any one He wants. He simply chooses to build up those who join Him in love.

The part about Jacob and Esau can be understood the same way. First of all, God “so loved the world that He sent His Son,” not “God loved the world, except for Esau and this guy and that guy…” So when we see the Scriptural writer use the language of “God hated,” we must understand that he is anthropomorphizing God that we might come to an understanding in human terms. Romans 8, just a few verses earlier, speaks of God’s “foreknowledge.” That does not mean He “hated” Esau such that He never gave Esau the grace to choose God. It means rather that in some sense, God knew Esau would not live according to God’s will without Esau’s free will being compromised.
 
Firstly, the Catholic understanding of Romans, indeed the whole of Scripture, isn’t dependent on forming a theological construct and then shoehorning Bible verses into it. Some do that in order to make Scripture support what they want to think. That’s poor exegesis. The proper way to view Scripture is according to the intention of the author of the book. So, what is Paul’s intention here?

The key verse is: [8] This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are reckoned as descendants.

Paul is telling us that being a physical descendant of Israel was never enough to please God and he goes on to give his readers examples that make his point.

Paul does not say that God loved Jacob and hated Esau without knowing them, which is what is implied by saying “before their birth”. God knows each of us through and through from all eternity. Does he prevent people from being born if they aren’t going to do as he wills? No. Why? Because he has left conceiving and birthing our young up to us. He simply knows, not determines, who will do what/will conform to his will and who won’t. He didn’t make Esau sell his birthright to Jacob. Esau made that decision and God held him to it.

God makes good comes from evil. He uses our bad decisions and flaws and fallen nature to bring about his will even though he would much rather we didn’t sin. Because he does this doesn’t mean he causes men to sin. That is what Paul is saying, as I understand it.
 
A Calvinist can use Romans 9:1-29 to make a pretty good argument that God creates people specially for salvation or damnation. Can someone provide a pretty detailed Catholic answer to this notion, particularly addressing verses 10-13, God loves Jacob and hated Esau before either were born.
[BIBLEDRB]Romans 9:1-29[/BIBLEDRB]
 
A Calvinist can use Romans 9:1-29 to make a pretty good argument that God creates people specially for salvation or damnation. Can someone provide a pretty detailed Catholic answer to this notion, particularly addressing verses 10-13, God loves Jacob and hated Esau before either were born.
If Paul meant that God specially creates people for damnation, then Paul could not also say:
This is good, and it is acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.[1 Tim 2:3-4]
 
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