J
JDHallKY
Guest
I am in a bit of a sticky situation with a friend of mine, and the emotions of the situation make it difficult to think through calmly and rationally. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
My friend has become one of the closest friends I have (though we haven’t been friends for very long). He is from a mainline Protestant background. For several months now, he has been dating a Catholic girl who is from a very devout family. But, as with many cradle Catholics, in many ways she seems to take the good things about the Church for granted and notice all of the “flaws.” My friend’s family is very anti-Catholic and, though he has softened on that, he is also very uncomfortable with the Church. This has been a major struggle for him. I have tried to be patient, give him encouragement, and answer his questions about the Church.
Anyway, today he was very excited about a conversation he had with his gf this weekend and then explained that they had been talking about getting married and she has decided she would be willing to leave the Church for more of a “compromise” position, such as the Lutheran Church. She brought this up to him as a way to resolve the religion problem they have. I told him it was great they are having honest conversations like that, and it is especially wonderful that he feels they are making progress toward one another. However, I, ever so gently, tried to suggest to him that his gf might not be thinking through all of the repercussions of leaving the Church. Particularly, I told him that the Eucharist was a very huge presence in one’s life, and though she might not realize it now, a few years away from it and she might. I was just trying to caution him as a friend that he needed to continue to work through this instead of just embracing a quick fix, but he did NOT take it well. He told me I was so condescending toward other churches, and that my opinion was, in my mind, the only thing that mattered and that Protestant churches didn’t even count as far as I was concerned.
I realize this was just his temper and he will calm down, but he is really struggling with this and I don’t know how to be there for him.
My friend has become one of the closest friends I have (though we haven’t been friends for very long). He is from a mainline Protestant background. For several months now, he has been dating a Catholic girl who is from a very devout family. But, as with many cradle Catholics, in many ways she seems to take the good things about the Church for granted and notice all of the “flaws.” My friend’s family is very anti-Catholic and, though he has softened on that, he is also very uncomfortable with the Church. This has been a major struggle for him. I have tried to be patient, give him encouragement, and answer his questions about the Church.
Anyway, today he was very excited about a conversation he had with his gf this weekend and then explained that they had been talking about getting married and she has decided she would be willing to leave the Church for more of a “compromise” position, such as the Lutheran Church. She brought this up to him as a way to resolve the religion problem they have. I told him it was great they are having honest conversations like that, and it is especially wonderful that he feels they are making progress toward one another. However, I, ever so gently, tried to suggest to him that his gf might not be thinking through all of the repercussions of leaving the Church. Particularly, I told him that the Eucharist was a very huge presence in one’s life, and though she might not realize it now, a few years away from it and she might. I was just trying to caution him as a friend that he needed to continue to work through this instead of just embracing a quick fix, but he did NOT take it well. He told me I was so condescending toward other churches, and that my opinion was, in my mind, the only thing that mattered and that Protestant churches didn’t even count as far as I was concerned.
I realize this was just his temper and he will calm down, but he is really struggling with this and I don’t know how to be there for him.