M
melissa09
Guest
thats the song i was trying to remember!! i absolutely love it! it was sung at at least one of my grandparent’s funerals - if not both
–very appropriate
- Status
–very appropriate
B
benedictgal
Guest
The music director at my paternal gramdmother’s parish suggested Eagles Wings and I told her absolutely not. I told her that my grandmother’s funeral Mass would have the best music possible and the SLJ certainly don’t meet that standard. The song is too sacchrine sweet and, while the text is biblically based, Eagles’ Wings just doesn’t compare to the older, more solid hymns. I cringe everytime I hear that song performed at a funeral. Furthermore, it’s not even a suitable song for Communion. With a plethora of good, solid traditional hymns, why settle for something like that?
Unfortunately, down here, this song is what many musicians offer fur funerals.
S
Spirithound
Guest
My condolences for your loss.
My grandfather died a couple years ago, and three hymns we sang there were Amazing Grace, Holy God we Praise Thy Name, and Ave Maria. I must have gotten my taste in hymns from him, those are a few of my favs too.
My grandfather died a couple years ago, and three hymns we sang there were Amazing Grace, Holy God we Praise Thy Name, and Ave Maria. I must have gotten my taste in hymns from him, those are a few of my favs too.
K
Kevin42
Guest
Well, I have always wanted my funeral mass to go something like this:
Entrance Song: Alleluia! Sing To Jesus!
RP: Psalm 23
Gospel Acclamation: Celtic Alleluia (ocp.org/songs/622)
Preparation of the Gifts: Ave Maria
Communion Hymn 1: Holy God, We Praise Thy Name
Communion Hymn 2: I Am the Bread of Life
Commendation: In Paradiseum
Sending Forth: Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
Entrance Song: Alleluia! Sing To Jesus!
RP: Psalm 23
Gospel Acclamation: Celtic Alleluia (ocp.org/songs/622)
Preparation of the Gifts: Ave Maria
Communion Hymn 1: Holy God, We Praise Thy Name
Communion Hymn 2: I Am the Bread of Life
Commendation: In Paradiseum
Sending Forth: Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
A
allhers
Guest
The Church he attended will actually go over this with you, the music director you already contacted will know the proper songs for a funeral liturgy.
We were able to use two of my Mother’s favorite songs, one was How Great Thou Art and the other was the Ave Maria, sung during Holy Communion, thats all I remember.
Sorry for you loss, sounds like he had a long, wonderful life and now he finally gets to move on to ever lasting life. I will keep his soul and all of you in my prayers.
We were able to use two of my Mother’s favorite songs, one was How Great Thou Art and the other was the Ave Maria, sung during Holy Communion, thats all I remember.
Sorry for you loss, sounds like he had a long, wonderful life and now he finally gets to move on to ever lasting life. I will keep his soul and all of you in my prayers.
P
pgee
Guest
That’s true, but my wife prefers that we go in with our hymns already picked out to make things easier. Musicians are a great bunch ( I am one) but sometimes they will steer you in the direction of what they like and know well instead of playing something that might be new to them and require more rehearsal.
The folks on this board have been so helpful in helping us decide. I am grateful to everyone.
The folks on this board have been so helpful in helping us decide. I am grateful to everyone.
O
OutinChgoburbs
Guest
I like the hymns you picked. For that last one where you put “not sure yet” how about “Holy God, We Praise Thy Name”- good for everybody, easy to sing.
K
Kevin42
Guest
I always forget about “What Wondrous Love is This”, but I love it and think it would be beautiful at a funeral mass.
B
benedictgal
Guest
Something else that you might want to consider is that the music should reflect how the Church understands death. When my stepgrandfather died, my aunt (dad’s half-sister) thought that it should be a celebration of his life. I told her (she is a lapsed Catholic) that we do need to pray for the repose of his soul and ask God to grant him mercy. He died right before Lent. I had music picked out for his funeral, but, my aunt opted to go with all of that Glory and Praiee stuff which is really more fluff than substance.
As it turned out, my stepgrandfather’s pastor turned the homily into something short of a canonization of the man (something you don’t want to do, becasue not only does the Church frown on “eulogies”, but, if you don’t know the whole story, it’s really bad). The funeral was not at all something prayerful nor solemn, and, the music certainly didn’t help.
When my grandmother died (some six weeks later), my dad and I took charge of the whole thing. I emailed my hymn selections and readings to the pastor. Then, the parish music director called and suggested the same stuff used for my stepgrandfather. I told her “no”. The music was too horizontal and didn’t have any notion of the divine (vertical), at all. Given the fact that my grandmother died a day and a year after JP II (and that it was also the fifth week of Lent), we went for hymns that were reflective of the pentitental nature and were also imploring God’s mercy on her. That is why Attende Domine was chosen, as well as What Wondrous Love Is This. For the sending forth, we chose Salve Regina (Hal Holy Queen) because, as I noted in my previous post, my grandmother had a great devotion fo the Blessed Mother. Interestingly enough, this hymn is sung for burials of clergy.
I planned my previous pastor’s funeral Mass and after the recessional, as the prests were carrying the casket into the hearse, they sang Salve Regina. When we got to the cemetery, as his casket was being lowered, they took up the Salve Regina, once again.
Something else that is important is to look at the readings chosen for the funeral. It’s good to match, if possible, the hymns to the readings selected. There are several reaidings from the OT, such as the one from Maccabees which talks about the importance of praying for the dead. Then there are several responsorial psalm options from which you can pick, as well as several options for the Epistle, Gospel Acclamation and the Gospel. The Gospel reading that I selected for my mom, stepgrandfather, gramdmother and former pastor came from John’s account. It spoke of the “many mansions” in the Father’s house.
C
CatholicNerd
Guest
Well, these are just my two cents and I might take a lot of flak for this, but I don’t really think that a Requiem Mass is an appropriate occasion for hymn-singing. The departed has gone to see his Lord and Judge, and the Church’s prescribed musical prayer for his soul should not be neglected in favor of “inspirational” hymns.
I realize, of course, that the GIRM gives Catholics a lot of leeway now and we aren’t strictly bound to sing the propers of the Requiem Mass, but why omit the propers and make such a radical departure from Catholic tradition?
The common answer that I’ve heard is “the funeral Mass is just as much about the living as it is about the dead!” Well, that’s true. That’s one reason why the Church retained the chanting of the Dies Irae (yes, it’s still permissible in the Ordinary Form). Why not include that in your grandfather’s requiem Mass?
I realize, of course, that the GIRM gives Catholics a lot of leeway now and we aren’t strictly bound to sing the propers of the Requiem Mass, but why omit the propers and make such a radical departure from Catholic tradition?
The common answer that I’ve heard is “the funeral Mass is just as much about the living as it is about the dead!” Well, that’s true. That’s one reason why the Church retained the chanting of the Dies Irae (yes, it’s still permissible in the Ordinary Form). Why not include that in your grandfather’s requiem Mass?
P
pgee
Guest
All great responses, I’m just the hymn guy, making choices from the deep south!!!
Mother in law is choosing the readings and will let the music guy at the church pick the responses etc etc (Catholic all of her life but didn’t know you could choose your musical response for the readings) … for that matter didn’t know you could pick your own hymns for the funeral…but I digress…
This is a very enlightening discussion, one Gramps himself would have enjoyed. How many services do you think he attended in his 102 years? He attended at least twice a week, not counting confession and special masses!!!
I’ll post the final decisons probably tomorrow
Mother in law is choosing the readings and will let the music guy at the church pick the responses etc etc (Catholic all of her life but didn’t know you could choose your musical response for the readings) … for that matter didn’t know you could pick your own hymns for the funeral…but I digress…
This is a very enlightening discussion, one Gramps himself would have enjoyed. How many services do you think he attended in his 102 years? He attended at least twice a week, not counting confession and special masses!!!
I’ll post the final decisons probably tomorrow
H
HamtramckSteve
Guest
My grandma, who will be 90 in August (God willing), has requested that the final song at her funeral be “Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee.” She wants all of us to be focused on the joy of going home to Heaven and not so much on our earthly sadness as we leave the service.
One song that has always stuck with me that I haven’t had much luck finding in a hymnal is called something like “All I Ask of You.”
The Blue & Gold Star mothers sing it for communion at their annual memorial Mass. The refrain is “All I ask of you is to remember how I loved you” or something similar.
I’ve seen some songs with that title, but the ones I’ve seen haven’t been what those mothers sang.
The text of the song makes it clear that Jesus is the one who is asking us to remember His love, but in the setting of the memorial Mass, I had the sense of the deceased speaking.
I didn’t know any of the servicemen the Mass was for, but I still couldn’t help but cry. Even now, if I think about the words, I’ll start.
One song that has always stuck with me that I haven’t had much luck finding in a hymnal is called something like “All I Ask of You.”
The Blue & Gold Star mothers sing it for communion at their annual memorial Mass. The refrain is “All I ask of you is to remember how I loved you” or something similar.
I’ve seen some songs with that title, but the ones I’ve seen haven’t been what those mothers sang.
The text of the song makes it clear that Jesus is the one who is asking us to remember His love, but in the setting of the memorial Mass, I had the sense of the deceased speaking.
I didn’t know any of the servicemen the Mass was for, but I still couldn’t help but cry. Even now, if I think about the words, I’ll start.
G
Guitar
Guest
“All I ask of you is forever to remember me as loving you”?
If so, it’s “All I Ask of You” by Gregory Norbert OSB. It appeared in only one hymnal that I know of, waaaay back when, and I haven’t heard it sung in about twenty years so it would be hard to find. You may still be able to buy it in one of the small songbooks put out by Gregory Norbert/the Monks of the Weston Priory, if they are still in print. I may have the original music in a box somewhere at home and could get the details for you later if Googling the title/composer/group doesn’t do the trick. PM me if you can’t track it down.
G
Guitar
Guest
Is/was Michael Joncas a St Louis Jesuit? News to me if he is/was. His writing style is quite different.
If you are involved in planning particular funerals you may have inside knowledge of dealings between the bereaved and the musicians, but let me assure you, the fact that a piece is played at a funeral does NOT necessarily mean the musician(s) offered it. They may well have been arm-twisted, cajoled, emotionally blackmailed, instructed by the priest or even outright lied to by family who tell them “Father says it’s OK and you have to play it”. I’ve had all of that tried on me and so have most of my colleagues.
It sounds like the funeral the OP is organising will be appropriate and dignified - pgee, I hope it all works out well for you all.
B
benedictgal
Guest
Actually, there is one organist/singer who has her repertoire and Eagles Wings is included in it for funerals. For weddings, she has a repertoire which is very standard and she doesn’t like deviating from it. When I served at the Cathedral, we kept telling her that she needed to sing the parts of the Mass, as well as the responsorial psalm (it was the procedure under the first rector–he wanted the musicians to sing the parts of the Mass). Even when she was given the music, she was still rather stubborn. She also likes to sing the Christopher Walker Gloria, which is a big no-no because it’s not even the actual Glora, but a bad paraphrase.
At my grandmother’s old parish in Austin, the music director kept insisting that I use Eagles Wings and I told her NO. I told her that my grandmother would have music that was truly sacred and dignified. I stood my ground and even had my PV drive up from Laredo to celebrate the funeral Mass because I was greatly disappointed with the way my grandmother’s pastor had handled my stepgrandfather.
When the funeral was finished, the music director came up to me and said that it was one of the most beautiful funeral liturgies she had ever played. Of course, it also helps that my PV is a great celebrant and was on target. He had also met my grandma and had gone to annoint her. He chanted somes of the Mass parts and chanted the Ave Maria as he was incensing her casket. He also belted out the Salve Regina and the In Paradiseum. This was something that my grandmother would have loved.
G
Guitar
Guest
Indeed there are singers/musicians who have a set repertoire and refuse to budge or are unable to learn new material in a funeral timescale. Sometimes this is due to preciousness or delusions regarding their role at the service (“I only sing what suits [read: shows off] my voice” or “I can’t be expected to truly sing well if it’s not material I personally like”) and in a few cases they are actually exercising professionalism by only agreeing to play what they know they can play well in the timeframe.
It used to be quite common amongst wedding soloists here twenty years or so ago to have set list, and not just amongst the amateurs - one tenor perfectly capable of sight-reading just about anything had an unconscionably steep fee for “learning” anything not on the printed list he handed out.
I even know one that works with pre-recorded accompaniment (yes, I know
) and if she doesn’t have it on file, she can’t do it.
Such people are fewer in number than they were, and they are definitely a tiny, tiny minority of the musicians I know who play for funerals.
It used to be quite common amongst wedding soloists here twenty years or so ago to have set list, and not just amongst the amateurs - one tenor perfectly capable of sight-reading just about anything had an unconscionably steep fee for “learning” anything not on the printed list he handed out.
I even know one that works with pre-recorded accompaniment (yes, I know
) and if she doesn’t have it on file, she can’t do it.Such people are fewer in number than they were, and they are definitely a tiny, tiny minority of the musicians I know who play for funerals.
P
pgee
Guest
Here is where I am at this point. Would like your thoughts on whether The King of Love… is appropriate for the Communion Hymn
Processional
Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
cyberhymnal.org/htm/p/t/pttlta.htm
Communion
Be Thou My Vision
hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh138.sht
Meditation
The King of Love My Shepherd Is
(St Columbia tune)
hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh138.sht
Recessional
It Is Well With Soul
cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm
Processional
Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
cyberhymnal.org/htm/p/t/pttlta.htm
Communion
Be Thou My Vision
hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh138.sht
Meditation
The King of Love My Shepherd Is
(St Columbia tune)
hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh138.sht
Recessional
It Is Well With Soul
cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/t/i/itiswell.htm
H
HamtramckSteve
Guest
You rock, Guitar!
Those crafty monks have a website, and they offer that song on a cd, song book and organ book. My search has ended.
Thank you, thank you.
P
PhilotheaZ
Guest
Yes, “The King of Love My Shepherd Is” can be used at Communion.
P
pgee
Guest
Thank you all!!
Enclosed is an article about him when we celebrated his 100th birthday. I have edited the respective family names…
When Erin was 12 years old she saw the movie “Titanic.”
Her great grandfather, Joe ****., also saw and liked the movie but when they sat down to discuss it he informed Erin that the film, while entertaining, was not factual.
“He told me, ‘That’s not the way it happened,’”
Joe +++should know. He was alive in 1912 when the so-called ‘unsinkable’ ship hit an iceberg in the north Atlantic and went down.
At the time, the patriarch of the Lewis clan was six years old.
Saturday his family, four generations strong, was at ++++++Landing to celebrate his 100th birthday.
Erin’s father told the story of one Christmas when his grandfather showed up at their house with a guest – Ted Williams.
“I was too small to really remember it,” said T+++ “but that’s the kind of life my grandfather has had. He knew everybody.”
Baseball has played a major role in ++++ life. For 60 years he worked as a professional scout.
++++, who was the general manager for those teams, was in attendance Saturday at +++, which speaks volumes about the esteem in which he holds +++++.
During his life, +++++ has seen a score of great players, including Babe Ruth.
“It was when I was playing for St. Patrick’s and we won the championship and The Herald News sponsored a trip up to Boston to see the Red Sox,” he recalled. “That’s the first time I saw the Babe.”
++++ has also watched many of the game’s other legends.
“I saw Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Williams, Bill Dickey, I saw them all,” he said.
He’s watched Barry Bonds move in on Ruth’s 714 home runs and frankly he’s not impressed.
“I don’t know about him,” said ++++ of Bonds. "I don’t think the numbers he’s putting up should count. I don’t know for sure if Bonds is taking (steroids) or not, but I do know that Babe Ruth did it on his own.
“These guys like (Mark) McGwire and (Sammy) Sosa were taking something and Ruth did it naturally and he did it when the ball was not nearly as lively as it is today.”
For years, +++++worked at the Naval Torpedo Station at Quonset Point in North Kingstown, R.I.
“I remember buying a car and the way I paid for it was driving a bunch of other guys each day and charging them $5 a week. That was pretty good money then because you could buy eight gallons of gas for a dollar.”
His scouting career began after the Tigers signed his son, out of Duke University where he was an All-American.
“When ++++ signed with the Tigers, they gave me a small scouting job,” said Sr. “Before I knew it the job got bigger and then bigger.”
He traveled everywhere, with his notebooks and scorecards and he watched thousands of games and tens of thousands of players.
One of those was local star Jerry Remy, the current color analyst for NESN.
“Jerry was on our list and we drafted him out of Somerset High, but it was during the Vietnam War and his mother was afraid he’d have to go into the army,” said ++++. “So he went off to St. Leo’s College in Florida and then after he transferred up to Roger Williams, the Angels eventually signed him.”
Another who got away was former Yankees captain Thurman Munson.
We really wanted to sign him when I was scouting for the Texas Rangers," said Sr. “We tried to get him but the Yankees offered him too much money.”
He signed many others though (Tom Grieve, Joe Coleman Jr., Tony Fossas) and he judged their talent without a radar gun or a stop watch.
“Radar guns?” he said. “You don’t need a gun to tell if somebody can throw hard and you don’t need a watch to tell you if somebody can run fast.”
He prefers baseball the way it was, when all pitchers had to hit and when players weren’t paid a king’s ransom.
“There’s a lot of money these days,” he said. "That’s good for the players, but I don’t know if it’s good for the game.
“I remember when players would only get $2,700 for their first year in the majors. That was pretty low. Now they get $10 to $20 million just to sign.”
He splits his time between Lakeland, Fla., where the Tigers train in the spring, and southeastern Massachusetts.
“He still drives himself back and forth,” said his grandson. “He’s an amazing man. He’s been great to us and especially to my children. The love to sit down with him and hear the stories. He’s full of history.”
Erin glows when she speaks about her great grandfather.
“It’s really cool when my friends tell stories about their families and I can come back with stories about him,” she said. “It’s not just so much his age but what he’s accomplished in his life.”
And the secret to living to 100?
“People might not believe me but I pray every night and thank God for keeping me in the condition that I’m in,” said ++++.
“I’ve been lucky. I’ve had no sickness whatsoever. That’s luck and the guy upstairs.”
Enclosed is an article about him when we celebrated his 100th birthday. I have edited the respective family names…
When Erin was 12 years old she saw the movie “Titanic.”
Her great grandfather, Joe ****., also saw and liked the movie but when they sat down to discuss it he informed Erin that the film, while entertaining, was not factual.
“He told me, ‘That’s not the way it happened,’”
Joe +++should know. He was alive in 1912 when the so-called ‘unsinkable’ ship hit an iceberg in the north Atlantic and went down.
At the time, the patriarch of the Lewis clan was six years old.
Saturday his family, four generations strong, was at ++++++Landing to celebrate his 100th birthday.
Erin’s father told the story of one Christmas when his grandfather showed up at their house with a guest – Ted Williams.
“I was too small to really remember it,” said T+++ “but that’s the kind of life my grandfather has had. He knew everybody.”
Baseball has played a major role in ++++ life. For 60 years he worked as a professional scout.
++++, who was the general manager for those teams, was in attendance Saturday at +++, which speaks volumes about the esteem in which he holds +++++.
During his life, +++++ has seen a score of great players, including Babe Ruth.
“It was when I was playing for St. Patrick’s and we won the championship and The Herald News sponsored a trip up to Boston to see the Red Sox,” he recalled. “That’s the first time I saw the Babe.”
++++ has also watched many of the game’s other legends.
“I saw Ty Cobb, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Williams, Bill Dickey, I saw them all,” he said.
He’s watched Barry Bonds move in on Ruth’s 714 home runs and frankly he’s not impressed.
“I don’t know about him,” said ++++ of Bonds. "I don’t think the numbers he’s putting up should count. I don’t know for sure if Bonds is taking (steroids) or not, but I do know that Babe Ruth did it on his own.
“These guys like (Mark) McGwire and (Sammy) Sosa were taking something and Ruth did it naturally and he did it when the ball was not nearly as lively as it is today.”
For years, +++++worked at the Naval Torpedo Station at Quonset Point in North Kingstown, R.I.
“I remember buying a car and the way I paid for it was driving a bunch of other guys each day and charging them $5 a week. That was pretty good money then because you could buy eight gallons of gas for a dollar.”
His scouting career began after the Tigers signed his son, out of Duke University where he was an All-American.
“When ++++ signed with the Tigers, they gave me a small scouting job,” said Sr. “Before I knew it the job got bigger and then bigger.”
He traveled everywhere, with his notebooks and scorecards and he watched thousands of games and tens of thousands of players.
One of those was local star Jerry Remy, the current color analyst for NESN.
“Jerry was on our list and we drafted him out of Somerset High, but it was during the Vietnam War and his mother was afraid he’d have to go into the army,” said ++++. “So he went off to St. Leo’s College in Florida and then after he transferred up to Roger Williams, the Angels eventually signed him.”
Another who got away was former Yankees captain Thurman Munson.
We really wanted to sign him when I was scouting for the Texas Rangers," said Sr. “We tried to get him but the Yankees offered him too much money.”
He signed many others though (Tom Grieve, Joe Coleman Jr., Tony Fossas) and he judged their talent without a radar gun or a stop watch.
“Radar guns?” he said. “You don’t need a gun to tell if somebody can throw hard and you don’t need a watch to tell you if somebody can run fast.”
He prefers baseball the way it was, when all pitchers had to hit and when players weren’t paid a king’s ransom.
“There’s a lot of money these days,” he said. "That’s good for the players, but I don’t know if it’s good for the game.
“I remember when players would only get $2,700 for their first year in the majors. That was pretty low. Now they get $10 to $20 million just to sign.”
He splits his time between Lakeland, Fla., where the Tigers train in the spring, and southeastern Massachusetts.
“He still drives himself back and forth,” said his grandson. “He’s an amazing man. He’s been great to us and especially to my children. The love to sit down with him and hear the stories. He’s full of history.”
Erin glows when she speaks about her great grandfather.
“It’s really cool when my friends tell stories about their families and I can come back with stories about him,” she said. “It’s not just so much his age but what he’s accomplished in his life.”
And the secret to living to 100?
“People might not believe me but I pray every night and thank God for keeping me in the condition that I’m in,” said ++++.
“I’ve been lucky. I’ve had no sickness whatsoever. That’s luck and the guy upstairs.”
- Status