Need I go to confession for this?

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ScrupulousMonk

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Please forgive me in advance for my scrupulosity and ignorance

I was walking back to my car after college lecture a few days ago when I heard a siren from an emergency vehicle. Before, I used to do a sign of the cross whenever I see or hear and emergency vehicle blare its sirens so as to pray for those who are in trouble and that all may continue to love God no matter what affliction falls upon them. However, I stopped doing that a while ago because I thought it was unnecessary, brought to my much attention to myself, and it goes against the teaching Jesus made about praying in public (you know, the one where the Pharisees would only pray in public for their own vanity). However, I felt that I might have sinned for what happened in this situation.

So, I did hear the siren from that emergency vehicle and was automatically ready to do the sign of the cross, out of old habit and I recently went to Confession (I wanted to thank God for forgiving me by doing the sign for those who maybe in trouble). What stopped me from doing so was a combination of things: A larger extent public pressure and to a lower extent what I was taught from Jesus’s teaching. There were people by me when I was about to do the sign, so I withheld my actions. I did do a prayer in my mind for those who maybe in distress, but I still feel like I stopped myself for doing the sign of the cross for “bad reasons.” I felt like I did not want to ask Jesus to help others when there are people watching me who could also judge and ridicule me. And many thoughts went into mind as well:

“Oh no! Have I committed a mortal sin? I just went to confession! I do not want to set aside time for that again. Maybe I did not sin, perhaps I am just being scrupulous again. After all, Christ said not to pray in public. But that is probably not what he meant!”

Basically, my thoughts continued on like this to this very day. I was afraid to figure out for sure if I committed a mortal sin, because I just went to Confession recently and did not want to make another appointment with my priest. At the same time, I know I am scrupulous, so I might have committed no sin at all. However, rather than wrong Christ and His Church further, I decided to ask the people of Catholic Answers for advice before I go to my priest, for Confession or otherwise.

So, please friends, tell me: Have I committed a grave sin? Even if the action was not grave, did my intention and thoughts make it so? Was my unwillingness to face the facts sinful as well? Most of all, need I go to confession for this?

I would appreciate your response. Thank you in advance.
 
What you need is to get a spiritual director for your scrupulosity and some counseling for these compuslive thoughts.
 
What you need is to get a spiritual director for your scrupulosity and some counseling for these compuslive thoughts.
Exactly what I was going to say before 1ke beat me to it.

This is extremely unhealthy and most certainly not the way our loving God wants us to live in the least. God wants us to do our best to avoid sin and then trust in His mercy when we fail. He wants us to be happy and free from painstaking anxiety.

Your thoughts are irrational and imply serious mental health concerns. Please get help.
 
What you need is to get a spiritual director for your scrupulosity and some counseling for these compuslive thoughts.
This. A forum isn’t the place to ask this sort of thing, to be honest, though I will certainly be praying for you.
 
Very well, but can you at least tell me if I need to go to confession for this? I am already well aware of my scrupulosity and am doing what is necessary for it, but I just need to know if, for this situation, I need Confession for this. I am sure that I did not do anything mortally sinful, but at the same time I am not sure (If that makes sense). I just came here to Catholic Answers for some assurance.
 
Very well, but can you at least tell me if I need to go to confession for this? I am already well aware of my scrupulosity and am doing what is necessary for it, but I just need to know if, for this situation, I need Confession for this. I am sure that I did not do anything mortally sinful, but at the same time I am not sure (If that makes sense). I just came here to Catholic Answers for some assurance.
You need to speak to your spiritual advisor / confessor. Speaking for myself, I am not qualified to advise you concerning your scrupulosity. You will be in my prayers.
 
To answer you directly, it is obvious there was no sin in the little incident you describe, mortal or otherwise.

And Christ did not say not to pray in public. Here is the relevant verse, Matthew 6:5
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward”
The key point being they acted like they were praying in order to be seen by others as something they’re not. If you were such a hypocrite, you would not be tearing yourself up with worry and second-guessing your own intentions.

At least you realize you are afflicted with the spiritual malady of scrupulosity. When you are in the midst of it, it can seem like an impossible maze to escape from, but believe me it IS possible and doable, with the grace of God, and your own hard work. As someone above mentioned, it can be very helpful to find a good - and patient! - spiritual director to help you. (I realize this is easier said than done - but at least pray to be lead to a good director). For now, at least realize your own judgements about your conscience are not accurate. Try not to let these types of thoughts keep you from the Eucharist. The spiritual life is about an unceasing and intimate relationship with Christ, not to live in constant anxiety that you might make a misstep, obsessing about what your real intentions were.
 
To Symeon et al

Thank you Symeon and the rest of you for your advice and, most of all, your assurance. I will be sure to use this incident as a model for future “scrupulous situations.” I apologize again for bothering you all with my needless concerns. Ever since my spiritual awakening, I have strived to ensure that I follow Christ and His Church in every, single little thing I do. Of course, I am far from a saint and most certainly have not accomplished anything great in terms of Catholicism. But that is why I try to ensure that, even though the things I do are small and insignificant, I make sure they are at least in keeping (or at least not against) Christ and His Church. Probably, it is why I am so scrupulous.

Thank you all again and God bless.
 
It also occurs to me, “ScrupulousMonk”, this past Sunday in my rite we celebrated the Sunday of the Prodigal Son, where that parable is the gospel reading for the Liturgy. Even though it may be familiar, go and read again today. This is the vision of God you should impress on your heart. His loving kindness is beyond anyone’s understanding.
 
Just one more thing: absolutely, being faithful in the little things is important, remembering “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). Do all things in Christ and for Christ. But don’t be consumed by excessive anxiety about falling. It seems to me sometimes God even allows these falls to teach us humility. So even when there are real (not scrupulously imagined) falls, do not be anxious, but turn to Him immediately (but peacefully) in you heart, for mercy.
 
hi,
so basically -you had a heartful concern for that person in the ambulance?

yet, somehow there is some guilt?
so i take it-that false guilt has went over the usual mark and interferes with your life?
well pray that your total identity be drawn into God’s plan of salvation, you have a heart, mind, body, and soul …(let me bring to your attention-your perceptions seem to only concern your capacities of the mind-as a mind is fearful or doubts) …
I will add to the posts who have answered-but add, that your soul
is very close to the answer-here is something to take up with God in prayer-or discuss with your priest upon the next meeting…(even if you have received a good answer to go or not to go to confession-i think the same situation and doubt will occur-so with that said -i will continue with suggestions/please take what you can and disregard the rest!)

my suggestion is central to the heart of Jesus-
is the heart of Jesus both conditional or unconditional?
and, as you know it is more than semantics, that a heart does love…
If a heart is to love, there must be a plan…so now adding, (1) Jesus’ heart, (2) your heart, (3) a plan (for you);
so reflect next time on the person in the ambulance- consider to ‘entrust them to the heart of Jesus.’
then, consider, to trust your own heart to the heart of Jesus…
the sum of all the parts ( i believe) is that Jesus will love others through you…
so this engages a plan…the strategy (mention to your priest if divine love is conditional or unconditional ) …so to , surely the height, depth, and width of or perception, implodes, for lack of a better term, with the creator of the universe-that Jesus might love through you…if true? how might this passing dilemma that you suffer turn into belief to know God’s greater plan…?
I read your story of events as though it was a sort of personal ‘plan,’ a strategy that you carry around with yourself both a psychic map and a personal impulse…but consider…the plan of God of what He has for you…i would even venture to say…let’s say that the person in the ambulance had a heart attack and knew he was dying/that the soul riding in the ambulance -he…may believe:“there is so much love in this world-there must be so much more in the next”- street and traffic and terrible situations-may re-occur/ but a divine plan might seem more like a Divine strategy, of God’s salvation (including eternal life for you)/ then, your new purpose to contemplate…Jesus…loves…others…through your own heart…take up with your priest -that by necessity -a simple:" i am sorry Lord…"… may suffice-surely the Lord would accept your apology…
 
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