Need NFP help -- or else the pill continues!

  • Thread starter Thread starter javelin
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

javelin

Guest
Hi everyone,

I need some advice on NFP methods. After much agonizing over the decision, my wife started using the pill about a month ago. She says that she knows it is against Church teaching and that it is not perfect, but she feels she has no choice for other medical reasons. Also, NO ONE in her life except me believes there is anything wrong with it – none of her Catholic or protestant friends – her Catholic parents (who berated me for sticking to the Church’s teaching) – even the two priests she spoke with both basically told her she just needed to do what she felt was right.

In the past, we have tried to use sympto-thermal NFP, but have two children and one lost (ectopic) to show for it. I couldn’t love them more, though :D. I know our practice was not as precise as it could be, but the bottom line is that she needs more assurance of avoiding pregnancy.

Thus, the pill.

My question for you is this – is there another form of natural family planning that is very effective? She will not do the whole cervical mucus thing, so Billings is out (which is also why our sympto-thermal was really more of a temp. only). My wife thought she heard about a computerized thing that could extremely accurately detect ovulation, and she said that if we got something like that that she could trust, she would go off the pill.

I’ve seen some good things about lutenizing hormone tests and their accuracy, but I’m not sure this can be used well as an NFP practice (seems more like a solution for someone who wants to get pregnant, not avoid).

The only “computerized” solution I found was a saliva-based test where you put this thing on your tongue and it tests for chemical levels to detect the onset of ovulation. Ovu-cue. It is supposedly 98% effective at predicting ovulation 5 days in advance, but it also says it is not yet “approved” by the FDA as an NFP device. Anyone know more about this?

Thanks for your advice in advance.

Peace,
javelin
 
Javelin,

As a Fertilitiy Care Practitioner (Creighton Model NFP), I wonder what the difficulty is with your wife checking cervical mucus. Feel free to PM!

God be with you.
 
Wow.

I will stick to answering your main question re: other types of NFP. Check out the Creighton Model. If you do a search for it here you will find many, many posts.

Pray & fast for your wife!
 
Have you ever consulted with anyone to help you with your charting? If the method has failed you twice, then there is something missing with the chart interpretations. I understand her discomfort with checking her mucus; many women have expressed that to me. But, if done routinely, it can become a simple observation at normal bathroom visits. Otherwise, it is still possible to rely on temperature with accuracy if done correctly. I would hope that you feel comfortable consulting with a teaching couple or counselor. Feel free to PM me if you need help finding someone to consult about this.

As far as ovulation predictors, I haven’t really heard much about them. I would say that it would be better to use that in conjunction with NFP than to take the pill. Plain and simple, the Church is against the pill for contraceptive reasons. It’s a sad thing when people try to say otherwise, especially priests!😦
 
40.png
stadre:
Javelin,

As a Fertilitiy Care Practitioner (Creighton Model NFP), I wonder what the difficulty is with your wife checking cervical mucus. Feel free to PM!

God be with you.
Click to expand...
It’s simple, really. She is extremely uncomfortable having to reach that far into herself to try to extract mucus. She simply won’t do it.

Peace,
javelin
 
40.png
javelin:
It’s simple, really. She is extremely uncomfortable having to reach that far into herself to try to extract mucus. She simply won’t do it.

Peace,
javelin
Click to expand...
“that far into herself”???:confused:

PLEASE take a course/classes… mucus should be able to be checked externally (usually on toilet tissue when visiting the bathroom anyway… but certainly no further than what she would do for regular cleaning.

Sorry to be graphic but I hope this helps…

Malia

p.s. I was extremely hesitant to get off of the Pill (that I blindly trusted for over 14 years!!!) but am now practicing sympto-thermal NFP and have been for over a year now… it took nearly a year for the effects of the Pill to subside and my cycles to become semi-regular. So pray for patience and courage for your wife. I am so much happier now that I am not going against God’s will.
 
I found this product to identify when a woman is fertile with a quick internet search. (I have not used it and know nothing about the company that produces it.) zetek.net/nfp.htm There are other products available that work like thermometers with a computer chip. Try searching “ovulation predictors”.

If your wife refuses to return to practicing church teachings against contraception, I would at least encourage you to ask her not to use the birth control pill or other methods that may abort your babies. (Beyond preventing ovulation, the pill also works by preventing implantation of a fertilized egg-- a.k.a. very early abortion.) Besides that, more studies that continue to show the pill isn’t good for women’s health. I just read today about an 200% increase of heart attacks in women on the pill.
 
Is this another case of a couple using NFP in place of a contraception?

Meaning, the only reason you are practicing this is to avoid pregancy as opposed to practicing because you embrace the role it plays in sacramental marriage and the sexual embrace as a means of including God at all times?

Just as with contraception in general, the key to getting people to stop choosing it as an option is to get them to toss out their old notions of what they thought sex is all about so that they can see it for the blessed event it truly is. Once they understand how wonderfully awesome fertility is they can embrace it and manage it lovingly.

Until then, even NFP breeds resentment…not only because it seems to make more work for the couple during infertile times, but particularly when ‘it’ fails and a child results. Instead of recognizing that the couple failed, not the system, or that perhaps God really did have a child in mind for them at that time in their lives and embracing the gift given to them, they get angry and bitter.

Not only do you and she need to attend a good workshop about NFP, but is sounds like you could benefit from a good Catholic marriage retreat. In the meantime, I highly recommend Christopher West’s Marriage and the Eucharist available FREE on CD from the Mary Foundation.
 
40.png
YinYangMom:
Is this another case of a couple using NFP in place of a contraception? Meaning, the only reason you are practicing this is to avoid pregancy…
Click to expand...
Couldn’t have phrased this better myself.

NFP is not intended for “routine contraception.” It is meant for use only in dire circumstances.

To use NFP as your preferred method of contraception – but still being in the mindset that you are actively trying to avoid pregnancy – is just as against orthodox Catholic teaching as using condoms, OCP or surgical methods of sterilization.
 
If your wife cannot trust NFP, why not try a hobby. Kneel down and pray throughout the night. Make rosaries, read a book, do laundry, adopt 7 more children. Meditate on the life of St.Joseph.

I know what some of your are thinking…(insert incredulous whine here: “You don’t expect me to go without sex, do you?”)

It’s called practicing self-control. How in the world do we expect our children to stay chaste BEFORE marriage if we cannot be that example, even in a married state. I was taught once that only animals could not control their urges. (Now if you put me next to a box of chocolate doughnuts, that’s a different story.)

What do you think Christ meant when he said “pick up your cross and follow me?” :ehh:

Oh, and one more thing. You do know that Artificial Birth Control is contrary to Church teaching, but dig a little further – it’s INTRINSICALLY evil, WHICH MAKES IT A MORTAL SIN. Not a little venial sin, but a big whopping MORTAL sin. :bigyikes:

As a good, practicing Catholic, you can solve your wife’s problems by withholding, especially since she’s on the pill. If you truly love your wife, you’ll want to keep ***her ** * in God’s graces as well as yourself.

I write with complete confidence in this matter since I’ve heard this same issue discussed at least a dozen times on EWTN and Catholic radio. :angel1: :amen: 🤓
 
40.png
SueG:
You do know that Artificial Birth Control is contrary to Church teaching, but dig a little further – it’s INTRINSICALLY evil, WHICH MAKES IT A MORTAL SIN. Not a little venial sin, but a big whopping MORTAL sin.
Click to expand...
I must reiterate that using Natural Family Planning for the wrong purpose is also a mortal sin.
 
40.png
javelin:
I know our practice was not as precise as it could be, but the bottom line is that she needs more assurance of avoiding pregnancy.
Click to expand...
How about abstinence? That’s 100% effective. Unless of course, it isn’t that important to avoid pregnancy…
 
Bottom line, this is the question you should ask your wife: is the risk of getting pregnant that much worse than the risk of ovarian cancer, breast cancer, permanent infirtility, heavy mood swings, ect. Just because the Pill is commonplace in American culture doesn’t mean its safe (consider the widespread usage of asbestos before discovering that it caused lung cancer). The people pushing the pill have an agenda, but they cannot hide the long list of fatal side-effects that can accompany usage of the Pill.

Sometimes I wonder if people fear pregnancy so much they would rather shoot themselves in the arm…
 
40.png
alessandro:
Couldn’t have phrased this better myself.

NFP is not intended for “routine contraception.” It is meant for use only in dire circumstances.

To use NFP as your preferred method of contraception – but still being in the mindset that you are actively trying to avoid pregnancy – is just as against orthodox Catholic teaching as using condoms, OCP or surgical methods of sterilization.
Click to expand...
It is not against orthodox Church teaching to avoid pregnancy through NFP as long as there are good reasons to be doing so.
 
40.png
martino:
It is not against orthodox Church teaching to avoid pregnancy through NFP as long as there are good reasons to be doing so.
Click to expand...
Not just good reasons, *grave *reasons.
 
40.png
martino:
It is not against orthodox Church teaching to avoid pregnancy through NFP as long as there are good reasons to be doing so.
Click to expand...
That’s what I said (or thought I said): It is intended for use in very specific circumstances – not for use as routine contraception.
 
40.png
alessandro:
That’s what I said (or thought I said): It is intended for use in very specific circumstances – not for use as routine contraception.
Click to expand...
I figured that I mistook what you said, but I wanted to clarify for anyone else that may have mistaken you.
 
40.png
mike182d:
Not just good reasons, *grave *reasons.
Click to expand...
No, not ‘grave’…
When you say ‘grave’ you imply something as serious as a major health reason or something of that nature.

the readings I’ve seen from the Vatican website support using NFP for spacing of children for valid reasons - and that includes economic considerations…if a couple does not have the resources or the ability to provide the basic needs of XX number of children they have a responsibility to have as many as they can care for…remaining open, of course, to God’s plan…because while a couple may not have the means at the moment, God could very well have an opportunity around the corner for the couple which would change their situation so as they could afford another child and so God blesses them with one.

The key here is that the couple remains open to God’s Divine intervention at any time…

A couple who practices NFP to consciously avoid God’s participation in the marital embrace is in the wrong mindset.

Even with NFP a couple welcome’s God’s participation, leaving the final outcome in His hands instead of their own.
 
Could someone post some sources . . . I’ve read posts referring to NFP as contraception. Where does the Church call it that? I’ve read that using NFP for the ‘wrong’ reasons is a mortal sin. Where does the Church say that?

Humanae Vitae refers to using NFP for serious reasons, but I’ve never seen an official list as to what those reasons are. If there is one, please post it and reference it. The Church, in her wisdom, hopes couples will pray and discern under what circumstances they might use NFP. It’s not up to me to decide whose reason is good enough. --KCT
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top