Need Prayer/Girl Advice

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jordan_J
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jordan_J

Guest
Hello!

I’ve been having a problem that I’ve been praying about a lot recently, but I feel like I am getting no answer.

My problem is that I have a girl I’ve liked for almost a year now. (Yes, I’m aware I’m still too young for dating.) I know that I’m one of her good friends, but I feel that I am not her best friend, as she seems to act sort of differently with one of my other good guy friends. What I’m confused about is why I would like her so much if God didn’t mean for us to be together in the end.

Since she is older than me, (almost 19) I feel that if I wait too long, she might of moved on in life, with college and other stuff if I don’t say something soon. I know God’s plan for my life will make me happy, but I can’t imagine how I would be happy with someone else besides her.

As I said, I’ve been praying about this a lot, but I feel like I am getting no advice.

If you’ve read this far, thanks, you’re awesome! Any advice you could give would be helpful.
 
Order your prayers to finding the mate God has picked out for you, at such time as you are ready to seriously pursue someone…which may not necessarily be the one you pick out initially.
Trust in the will of God, and see if things don’t work out just wonderfully.
God bless you. 🙂
 
Order your prayers to finding the mate God has picked out for you, at such time as you are ready to seriously pursue someone…which may not necessarily be the one you pick out initially.
Trust in the will of God, and see if things don’t work out just wonderfully.
God bless you. 🙂
Thanks, I’ll do that!
 
Order your prayers to finding the mate God has picked out for you, at such time as you are ready to seriously pursue someone…which may not necessarily be the one you pick out initially.
Trust in the will of God, and see if things don’t work out just wonderfully.
God bless you. 🙂
God does not pick our future spouse. That would be Calvinistic heresy.
 
Hello!

I’ve been having a problem that I’ve been praying about a lot recently, but I feel like I am getting no answer.

My problem is that I have a girl I’ve liked for almost a year now. (Yes, I’m aware I’m still too young for dating.) I know that I’m one of her good friends, but I feel that I am not her best friend, as she seems to act sort of differently with one of my other good guy friends. What I’m confused about is why I would like her so much if God didn’t mean for us to be together in the end.

Since she is older than me, (almost 19) I feel that if I wait too long, she might of moved on in life, with college and other stuff if I don’t say something soon. I know God’s plan for my life will make me happy, but I can’t imagine how I would be happy with someone else besides her.

As I said, I’ve been praying about this a lot, but I feel like I am getting no advice.

If you’ve read this far, thanks, you’re awesome! Any advice you could give would be helpful.
Hi and welcome to the forums.

Well, first off, prayer said for you. Second; You say this girl is 19 and is older than you, so that makes you super young. That is the reason why you cannot imagine yourself with anyone else. You have not lived long enough to know how even intense feelings can come and go. Things are not always true just because we feel like they are. Your feelings that you cant imagine yourself happy with anyone else does not make it true. God has nothing to do with the fact that you like this girl so much that you think"Why would I like her so much if God did not mean for us to be together in the end.?" In reality, people fall in love with others with whom it was not meant to be all the time. Married people sometimes fall in love with someone other than their spouse, single people fall in love with married people whom they can never have. It has nothing to do with God. All it may mean is that you are called to marriage one day. There is no one person that God chooses for us. We can be happy with a number of people and God lets us choose who we want to be with. And the sad truth is the person that we want does not always want us back.

I have been heartbroken many times in my life.Thought that I fell in love many times. Thought that the fact that I had such strong feelings means it must somehow prove that my hopes are true and we were just meant to be together… its just not reality though. At your age, the odds are that you will not end up married to this girl one day. You might, but the odds are no.

With all that said, here’s some just practical non spiritual dating advice from another guy; It does not have to be a big romantic scene but if you are interest in a girl, JUST ASK HER OUT. Stop hesitating, stop procrastinating, JUST ASK HER OUT. Asking and getting a “No” is better than wondering if you have a chance for a year, or two or three. If you would have already asked out your friend sometime in the past year, you would not be here asking for advice with a problem that can be solved in, literally, less less than a hour if you plan ahead what you will do on your date if she says “Yes”. If a girl in single and you are interested, JUST ASK HER OUT. Then worry about if you two are meant to be together if she becomes your girlfriend. Not before. So, ask her out. Ask her out before the week is over… and if you get a “no” it will hurt. But guess what? millions of other guys have been through that too and we are okay and we have moved on and found other women that like us back. Story time…

I met a girl on Catholicmatch.com almost 5 years ago. We went on one date, she moved across the country. I had a crush on her for 4 years. We kept in contact and stood as friends while she continued her school and got her degree thousands of miles away. When she came back to California to visit her friends and family we hung out. I never told her how I felt all those years until last year. I made the excuse that she was too far away and I did not want to do the long distance relationship thing. But last year I decided “Heck, I can now support a family (thanks be to God) I think I would want to marry this girl one day so I will tell her how I feel” I waited until she came back to California and I let her know that I was interested in being with her, in person, like a man should do it. Not by text, phone or facebook. Well, she seemed very receptive at first even telling me to go and visit her in the state she was now living in. Then 3 weeks later I got a facebook message saying she changed her mind and did not feel “called” to a relationship with me. I was heartbroken. I liked this women for 4 years and she could not even give me a call to let me down. She sent a stinking facebook message when she could have at least called like a real friend should have. Basically, I felt like I was not the least bit important to her at all. I was heartbroken. Well, 5 months later a friend of mine became my girlfriend and I like her way more than I ever liked that other women even though I was practically “In love” for 4 years.

I could have avoided all that heartbreak and wondering for 4 years if I had told her how I felt the first year that I liked her. And of course, you always find someone better for you when someone tells you “No”. Nobody is meant to be with anyone else. We choose. You must choose and she must choose you back. So, please, just ask this girl out and if you get a “No” please believe you will get over it and find another woman that you will like even more.

Just ask, That is the best dating advice you can ever get. Do not overthink it anymore. Just ask her out. God bless.
 
Hi and welcome to the forums.

Well, first off, prayer said for you. Second; You say this girl is 19 and is older than you, so that makes you super young. That is the reason why you cannot imagine yourself with anyone else. You have not lived long enough to know how even intense feelings can come and go. Things are not always true just because we feel like they are. Your feelings that you cant imagine yourself happy with anyone else does not make it true. God has nothing to do with the fact that you like this girl so much that you think"Why would I like her so much if God did not mean for us to be together in the end.?" In reality, people fall in love with others with whom it was not meant to be all the time. Married people sometimes fall in love with someone other than their spouse, single people fall in love with married people whom they can never have. It has nothing to do with God. All it may mean is that you are called to marriage one day. There is no one person that God chooses for us. We can be happy with a number of people and God lets us choose who we want to be with. And the sad truth is the person that we want does not always want us back.

I have been heartbroken many times in my life.Thought that I fell in love many times. Thought that the fact that I had such strong feelings means it must somehow prove that my hopes are true and we were just meant to be together… its just not reality though. At your age, the odds are that you will not end up married to this girl one day. You might, but the odds are no.

With all that said, here’s some just practical non spiritual dating advice from another guy; It does not have to be a big romantic scene but if you are interest in a girl, JUST ASK HER OUT. Stop hesitating, stop procrastinating, JUST ASK HER OUT. Asking and getting a “No” is better than wondering if you have a chance for a year, or two or three. If you would have already asked out your friend sometime in the past year, you would not be here asking for advice with a problem that can be solved in, literally, less less than a hour if you plan ahead what you will do on your date if she says “Yes”. If a girl in single and you are interested, JUST ASK HER OUT. Then worry about if you two are meant to be together if she becomes your girlfriend. Not before. So, ask her out. Ask her out before the week is over… and if you get a “no” it will hurt. But guess what? millions of other guys have been through that too and we are okay and we have moved on and found other women that like us back. Story time…

I met a girl on Catholicmatch.com almost 5 years ago. We went on one date, she moved across the country. I had a crush on her for 4 years. We kept in contact and stood as friends while she continued her school and got her degree thousands of miles away. When she came back to California to visit her friends and family we hung out. I never told her how I felt all those years until last year. I made the excuse that she was too far away and I did not want to do the long distance relationship thing. But last year I decided “Heck, I can now support a family (thanks be to God) I think I would want to marry this girl one day so I will tell her how I feel” Well, she seemed very receptive at first even telling me to go and visit her in the state she was now staying at. Then 3 weeks later I got a facebook message saying she changed her mind and did not feel “called” to a relationship with me. I was heartbroken. I liked this women for 4 years and she could not even give me a call to let me down. She sent a stinking facebook message when she could have at least called like a real friend should have. Basically, I felt like I was not the least bit important to her at all. I was heartbroken. Well, 5 months later a friend of mine became my girlfriend and I like her way more than I ever liked that other women even though I was practically “In love” for 4 years.

I could have avoided all that heartbreak and wondering for 4 years if I had told her how I felt the first year that I liked her. And of course, you always find someone better for you when someone tells you “No”. Nobody is meant to be with anyone else. We choose. You must choose and she must choose you back. So, please, just ask this girl out and if you get a “No” please believe you will get over it and find another woman that you will like even more.

Just ask, That is the best dating advice you can ever get. Do not overthink it anymore. Just ask her out. God bless.
Wow, thank you for all of that. I didn’t expect I’d get so much help 🙂 I’ll be sure to keep all of that in mind, but the only problem is that I’m only 16, and shouldn’t really be asking people out at this age. Thanks again for all of that advice.
 
Wow, thank you for all of that. I didn’t expect I’d get so much help 🙂 I’ll be sure to keep all of that in mind, but the only problem is that I’m only 16, and shouldn’t really be asking people out at this age. Thanks again for all of that advice.
You are right, you do not need to be dating yet. You are going to be alright 😉 You are going to get crushes on other girls and you will like them more than this girl. I was in your shoes many times. But when the time comes, always remember to just ask her out. Wondering is worse than being rejected.
 
You are right, you do not need to be dating yet. You are going to be alright 😉 You are going to get crushes on other girls and you will like them more than this girl. I was in your shoes many times. But when the time comes, always remember to just ask her out. Wondering is worse than being rejected.
Thanks again, I’ll keep all of that in mind as I move towards the future.
 
Order your prayers to finding the mate God has picked out for you, at such time as you are ready to seriously pursue someone…which may not necessarily be the one you pick out initially.
Trust in the will of God, and see if things don’t work out just wonderfully.
God bless you. 🙂
Good advice.

As already mentioned, try asking her out. You never know. The important thing is you try. I wish you all the best 👍
 
Hello!

I’ve been having a problem that I’ve been praying about a lot recently, but I feel like I am getting no answer.

My problem is that I have a girl I’ve liked for almost a year now. (Yes, I’m aware I’m still too young for dating.) I know that I’m one of her good friends, but I feel that I am not her best friend, as she seems to act sort of differently with one of my other good guy friends. What I’m confused about is why I would like her so much if God didn’t mean for us to be together in the end.

Since she is older than me, (almost 19) I feel that if I wait too long, she might of moved on in life, with college and other stuff if I don’t say something soon. I know God’s plan for my life will make me happy, but I can’t imagine how I would be happy with someone else besides her.

As I said, I’ve been praying about this a lot, but I feel like I am getting no advice.

If you’ve read this far, thanks, you’re awesome! Any advice you could give would be helpful.
I am in a similar position as well in that I like a girl but I don’t know if she likes me back and I feel the same things that you’re feeling so you’re not alone. My thing is I’d like to tell her eventually to get a definitive answer on this but one of my concerns is how this will effect our friendship if I do. On paper, we seem like a match and we talk a lot so that may be a good sign or not. I’m attracted to a certain type of girl and she falls into that category. The thing is I would prayerfully discern this before moving forward but I would also ask God for help in whatever happens.

If you guys get together great, if you don’t then there is someone out there for you. Just ask God to help you find your future spouse whomever that may be. Asking Mary and St. Joseph also helps. Sooner or later you will find someone. You just have to put yourself out there and don’t be afraid of rejection too. Remember, she will come when you least expect it. I always tell one of my friends that.
 
I am in a similar position as well in that I like a girl but I don’t know if she likes me back and I feel the same things that you’re feeling so you’re not alone. My thing is I’d like to tell her eventually to get a definitive answer on this but one of my concerns is how this will effect our friendship if I do. On paper, we seem like a match and we talk a lot so that may be a good sign or not. I’m attracted to a certain type of girl and she falls into that category. The thing is I would prayerfully discern this before moving forward but I would also ask God for help in whatever happens.

If you guys get together great, if you don’t then there is someone out there for you. Just ask God to help you find your future spouse whomever that may be. Asking Mary and St. Joseph also helps. Sooner or later you will find someone. You just have to put yourself out there and don’t be afraid of rejection too. Remember, she will come when you least expect it. I always tell one of my friends that.
Yeah, that’s sort of how I feel as well. Thank you for that advice 🙂
 
Hi and welcome to the forums.

Well, first off, prayer said for you. Second; You say this girl is 19 and is older than you, so that makes you super young. That is the reason why you cannot imagine yourself with anyone else. You have not lived long enough to know how even intense feelings can come and go. Things are not always true just because we feel like they are. Your feelings that you cant imagine yourself happy with anyone else does not make it true. God has nothing to do with the fact that you like this girl so much that you think"Why would I like her so much if God did not mean for us to be together in the end.?" In reality, people fall in love with others with whom it was not meant to be all the time. Married people sometimes fall in love with someone other than their spouse, single people fall in love with married people whom they can never have. It has nothing to do with God. All it may mean is that you are called to marriage one day. There is no one person that God chooses for us. We can be happy with a number of people and God lets us choose who we want to be with. And the sad truth is the person that we want does not always want us back.

I have been heartbroken many times in my life.Thought that I fell in love many times. Thought that the fact that I had such strong feelings means it must somehow prove that my hopes are true and we were just meant to be together… its just not reality though. At your age, the odds are that you will not end up married to this girl one day. You might, but the odds are no.

With all that said, here’s some just practical non spiritual dating advice from another guy; It does not have to be a big romantic scene but if you are interest in a girl, JUST ASK HER OUT. Stop hesitating, stop procrastinating, JUST ASK HER OUT. Asking and getting a “No” is better than wondering if you have a chance for a year, or two or three. If you would have already asked out your friend sometime in the past year, you would not be here asking for advice with a problem that can be solved in, literally, less less than a hour if you plan ahead what you will do on your date if she says “Yes”. If a girl in single and you are interested, JUST ASK HER OUT. Then worry about if you two are meant to be together if she becomes your girlfriend. Not before. So, ask her out. Ask her out before the week is over… and if you get a “no” it will hurt. But guess what? millions of other guys have been through that too and we are okay and we have moved on and found other women that like us back. Story time…

I met a girl on Catholicmatch.com almost 5 years ago. We went on one date, she moved across the country. I had a crush on her for 4 years. We kept in contact and stood as friends while she continued her school and got her degree thousands of miles away. When she came back to California to visit her friends and family we hung out. I never told her how I felt all those years until last year. I made the excuse that she was too far away and I did not want to do the long distance relationship thing. But last year I decided “Heck, I can now support a family (thanks be to God) I think I would want to marry this girl one day so I will tell her how I feel” I waited until she came back to California and I let her know that I was interested in being with her, in person, like a man should do it. Not by text, phone or facebook. Well, she seemed very receptive at first even telling me to go and visit her in the state she was now living in. Then 3 weeks later I got a facebook message saying she changed her mind and did not feel “called” to a relationship with me. I was heartbroken. I liked this women for 4 years and she could not even give me a call to let me down. She sent a stinking facebook message when she could have at least called like a real friend should have. Basically, I felt like I was not the least bit important to her at all. I was heartbroken. Well, 5 months later a friend of mine became my girlfriend and I like her way more than I ever liked that other women even though I was practically “In love” for 4 years.

I could have avoided all that heartbreak and wondering for 4 years if I had told her how I felt the first year that I liked her. And of course, you always find someone better for you when someone tells you “No”. Nobody is meant to be with anyone else. We choose. You must choose and she must choose you back. So, please, just ask this girl out and if you get a “No” please believe you will get over it and find another woman that you will like even more.

Just ask, That is the best dating advice you can ever get. Do not overthink it anymore. Just ask her out. God bless.
Wish I could recommend this cuz this is darn good.
 
You are right, you do not need to be dating yet. You are going to be alright 😉 You are going to get crushes on other girls and you will like them more than this girl. I was in your shoes many times. But when the time comes, always remember to just ask her out. Wondering is worse than being rejected.
i’ve been in love (i guess…) with a m*slem girl and i still like her so much… (coz she’s so cuuuuuuute… and she’s so much my type)

though she’s married now…

😦
 
God does not pick our future spouse. That would be Calvinistic heresy.
I know of quite a few people who could argue you on this. Myself included. God gives everyone free will but there have been instances where people have been shown by God, who He has in mind for them to marry via private revelations, and in His timing, brings them together.

Examples:
jennifer-wilder.com/
hespeaksinthesilence.com/2011/12/a-love-story-by-sarah-nelson/
deborahjheartofworship.com/2015/01/30/my-waiting-on-god-testimony/
 
I know of quite a few people who could argue you on this. Myself included. God gives everyone free will but there have been instances where people have been shown by God, who He has in mind for them to marry via private revelations, and in His timing, brings them together.

Examples:
jennifer-wilder.com/
hespeaksinthesilence.com/2011/12/a-love-story-by-sarah-nelson/
deborahjheartofworship.com/2015/01/30/my-waiting-on-god-testimony/
God knows who we will end up with and He can lead two people together but that does not mean it is somehow pre destined. If God has someone in mind for us, we can still say “NO!” We say no to Gods will all the time. It takes two people to mutually want each other. Therefore, we choose who we will be with.

Love stories from people convinced that God led them to their spouse are beautiful but a theology lesson they are not. I am yet to read anything by a Bishop or priest that says that God chooses our spouse for us and The Bible says nothing on the matter.
 
God knows who we will end up with and He can lead two people together but that does not mean it is somehow pre destined. If God has someone in mind for us, we can still say “NO!” We say no to Gods will all the time. It takes two people to mutually want each other. Therefore, we choose who we will be with.

Love stories from people convinced that God led them to their spouse are beautiful but a theology lesson they are not. I am yet to read anything by a Bishop or priest that says that God chooses our spouse for us and The Bible says nothing on the matter.
I wouldn’t say predestined but if some of us pray for a spouse, God can provide. It’s not quite the same but yeah.
 
Hi!
I’ve been having a problem that I’ve been praying about a lot recently, but I feel like I am getting no answer.
That does sound like dating!
My problem is that I have a girl I’ve liked for almost a year now. (Yes, I’m aware I’m still too young for dating.) I know that I’m one of her good friends, but I feel that I am not her best friend, as she seems to act sort of differently with one of my other good guy friends.
Hmmm… in mid-to-late teens and even sometimes early twenties people are noticeably more affectionate and emotional with their friends. Also the lines between friendship and romance are blurrier, as it’s not just about sex or no sex, but for them it’s primarily about the nature of the emotion they feel. Hence it’s difficult for me to make any predictions about your lady friend.

For dating, you wouldn’t need to be her best friend, but if you want to date your best friend and want to make that a project you stick with, then I’d suggest you keep looking until you find a woman who can be both your best friend and romantic lover (and perhaps in this order).
What I’m confused about is why I would like her so much if God didn’t mean for us to be together in the end
God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. He can do anything, knows everything, is everywhere. All of it is true. Still, it doesn’t necessarily mean He micromanages everything in our lives. I think it’s more along the lines of primarily giving us the tools and the responsibility (and support, if we pray for it) in handling our lives.

Also, friends are great to have. Perhaps the two of you could be ‘meant’ to be friends and not a couple.
Since she is older than me, (almost 19) I feel that if I wait too long, she might of moved on in life, with college and other stuff if I don’t say something soon.
There is always that feeling. See, you can’t cover all possibilities, you can’t predict every single scenario that can happen, manage all risks, prevent all dangers. There is actually quite a lot you can control to some degree (perhaps more than most people think), but that’s still not everything.

As for fear, treat it like just the alarm light flashing, which it really is. The alarm may be flashing, but it’s the operator who makes the decision. Your emotions are those lights, but your brain, your conscious will, is the operator. So take the suggestion into consideration but decide on the basis of what’s the best thing to do.

Plus, you can always ask her. But you’d better know the answer to what she might ask you then!

If you’re friends, then it wouldn’t be awfully impolite to ask if she and the other friend are together. Not because you’re prying but because you’d like to know so that you can sort out your feelings for her. Not an unfair request to make of a friend, even a lady friend, at all.
I know God’s plan for my life will make me happy,
In the eternal sense first of all. God’s plan is not really about earthly happiness, at least not primarily.
but I can’t imagine how I would be happy with someone else besides her.
Hey, people couldn’t imagine TVs before others made them! Or planes.

Life is full of surprises. For all we know, tomorrow you could in love with a girl just met, or you could wake up being sure you want to be a priest. Exaggerating, sure, but you just don’t know. So relax and take it in stride, as it comes. 🙂 (Though it’s good to have a flexible roadmap and a general idea of what you’re trying to do.)
As I said, I’ve been praying about this a lot, but I feel like I am getting no advice.
Perhaps you need to pray more. 🙂 Sometimes it happens that way. Or sometimes I suspect it’s God giving our brains some exercise.
If you’ve read this far, thanks, you’re awesome! Any advice you could give would be helpful.
Perhaps try to be open-hearted. Even if your friend does indeed prefer your other friend, you can still be happy for her and for them both, and move on with your life, which isn’t going to stop just because of that.

Circumstances and accidents is not something you can control, but being a good person and doing the right thing, whatever that is, is something you always have the power to at least decide to do (even in those extreme cases when you’re prevented from executing the decision).

Be the man you want to be for your eventual special lady, as well as for your friends (all of whom are special too). That is definitely something you have control over. It also translates into how your relationships (of various sorts) with women (and people in general) work.
 
Hi!

That does sound like dating!

Hmmm… in mid-to-late teens and even sometimes early twenties people are noticeably more affectionate and emotional with their friends. Also the lines between friendship and romance are blurrier, as it’s not just about sex or no sex, but for them it’s primarily about the nature of the emotion they feel. Hence it’s difficult for me to make any predictions about your lady friend.

For dating, you wouldn’t need to be her best friend, but if you want to date your best friend and want to make that a project you stick with, then I’d suggest you keep looking until you find a woman who can be both your best friend and romantic lover (and perhaps in this order).

God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. He can do anything, knows everything, is everywhere. All of it is true. Still, it doesn’t necessarily mean He micromanages everything in our lives. I think it’s more along the lines of primarily giving us the tools and the responsibility (and support, if we pray for it) in handling our lives.

Also, friends are great to have. Perhaps the two of you could be ‘meant’ to be friends and not a couple.

There is always that feeling. See, you can’t cover all possibilities, you can’t predict every single scenario that can happen, manage all risks, prevent all dangers. There is actually quite a lot you can control to some degree (perhaps more than most people think), but that’s still not everything.

As for fear, treat it like just the alarm light flashing, which it really is. The alarm may be flashing, but it’s the operator who makes the decision. Your emotions are those lights, but your brain, your conscious will, is the operator. So take the suggestion into consideration but decide on the basis of what’s the best thing to do.

Plus, you can always ask her. But you’d better know the answer to what she might ask you then!

If you’re friends, then it wouldn’t be awfully impolite to ask if she and the other friend are together. Not because you’re prying but because you’d like to know so that you can sort out your feelings for her. Not an unfair request to make of a friend, even a lady friend, at all.

In the eternal sense first of all. God’s plan is not really about earthly happiness, at least not primarily.

Hey, people couldn’t imagine TVs before others made them! Or planes.

Life is full of surprises. For all we know, tomorrow you could in love with a girl just met, or you could wake up being sure you want to be a priest. Exaggerating, sure, but you just don’t know. So relax and take it in stride, as it comes. 🙂 (Though it’s good to have a flexible roadmap and a general idea of what you’re trying to do.)

Perhaps you need to pray more. 🙂 Sometimes it happens that way. Or sometimes I suspect it’s God giving our brains some exercise.

Perhaps try to be open-hearted. Even if your friend does indeed prefer your other friend, you can still be happy for her and for them both, and move on with your life, which isn’t going to stop just because of that.

Circumstances and accidents is not something you can control, but being a good person and doing the right thing, whatever that is, is something you always have the power to at least decide to do (even in those extreme cases when you’re prevented from executing the decision).

Be the man you want to be for your eventual special lady, as well as for your friends (all of whom are special too). That is definitely something you have control over. It also translates into how your relationships (of various sorts) with women (and people in general) work.
Wow, thank you so much for all of that! I’ll be sure to keep all that in mind.

PS: I really liked the method you used to reply to that. 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top