Need prayers and maybe advice

[yessisan]

I work at the same company my mom does, but in different locations, and we have an IM system. We were talking about some family stuff when she told me that she had been raped when we were living in Mexico (we moved to the US in 1994).

I have no idea what to do or say. All I could say was “I’m so sorry” and that I had no idea. She wants to take me to breakfast or lunch on Sunday to talk about this. What should I say/do? I’m just shocked that this happened to her and that I am just learning this. :crying: I want to cry, I just cannot imagine how horrible her life was when we lived in Mexico. (From an abusive and bigamist husband to that? :crying

Whether you can tell me what I could say or not, could you please pray for her? I know it’s been over 14 yrs, but I am sure she could use some prayers.

 

[kage_ar]

Prayers.

Do not discuss family matters over the company IM or company email system. Not only can others read what you are writing, it is most likely a violation of the company policy.

 

[Simon_X]

Praying…

 

[Teakafrog]

Prayers.

Do not discuss family matters over the company IM or company email system. Not only can others read what you are writing, it is most likely a violation of the company policy.

Very true. You shouldn’t even look at your own records. One of the gals I work with got suspended because she looked at her OWN x-ray. And they can just decide to randomly check that stuff any time, so even if you’ve done it before, you could get caught at any time.

I am very sorry about your Mom and I will say a prayer for her.

 

[yessisan]

Well, we were talking about work and then it changed suddenly. She’s a director for the company, but still, I know it’d be better if no personal stuff was discussed on there. Anyway, thanks for the prayers…

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I have no idea what to do or say.

Just listen to her.

It’s okay to cry with her, and it’s okay to tell her that you don’t know what to say. It’s okay to say that you’re really sad that it happened to her, and it hurts you that someone could do something so awful, especially to someone you love.

As a survivor of sexual assault, I can tell you what not to say, because I’ve heard it all before:

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“Why did you put yourself in that position?”

“Why didn’t you fight back?” There’s always this assumption that I didn’t fight, or that I didn’t have a weapon pointed at me.

Every survivor heals at their own rate… Everyone has a period where they don’t tell anyone until they’re ready.

God bless you, Yessi.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

:hug1:

So sorry Yessi…just listen to her and be there for her. I’m sure that it will be hard for her.

 

[happymommy]

You don’t have to say anything, just let her talk and give her a shoulder to cry on!! Let her know that she is loved and protected.
You both will be in my prayers!

 

[Sina]

I am so sorry for your family. That is brave of your mom to talk to you about it, and I am glad to hear she is. No advice other than being yourself and listening. Prayers.

 

[yessisan]

Thanks guys… well, she cancelled on me because my dad wants to take her out to celebrate her upcoming bday tomorrow (her bday is next Sunday). We’re going on Saturday next wk, but she doesn’t know I have a surprise bday party for her at my house that day We’ll see how that works out.

 

[jules11]

Just listen to her.

It’s okay to cry with her, and it’s okay to tell her that you don’t know what to say. It’s okay to say that you’re really sad that it happened to her, and it hurts you that someone could do something so awful, especially to someone you love.

As a survivor of sexual assault, I can tell you what not to say, because I’ve heard it all before:

“Why didn’t you say something earlier?”

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“Why did you put yourself in that position?”

“Why didn’t you fight back?” There’s always this assumption that I didn’t fight, or that I didn’t have a weapon pointed at me.

Every survivor heals at their own rate… Everyone has a period where they don’t tell anyone until they’re ready.

God bless you, Yessi.

You have got to be joking!!! People actually said these things to you?
I am so terribly sorry… so sorry.
I have had similar things happen to me and I also got asked ‘what did you do to make that happen?’

Yessi, I am dealing with similar things about my past… not as bad but the thing is, sometimes it takes years and a long long time to process it all and to get to a point where you can talk about it.

Rape victims suffer from a lot of guilt… they think it was their fault when nothing could be further from the truth.
Offer her all your love and support… she’ll need it.

God bless you both