W
WoundedIcon
Guest
For the past few months, since I converted to Catholicism, I’ve been assaulted by strong temptations to despair, hatred, anti-social pride, mockery, slander, criticism, wrath, violence, and blasphemy against the Church, I’ve developed a powerful aversion to charity and kindness, have repeatedly been shot through with suicidal levels of anxiety as I try to keep myself going past all the fears of others hurting me on top of an extremely dizzying level of scrupulosity combined with an unhealthy fear of God as though He hates me and is going to treat me with violence for all my flaws. Today I fully caved in and willing blasphemed the Church and all the issues went away and I felt great until a few hours later when I stopped myself and realized what I had done and said an act of contrition. Pretty much as soon as the “amen” left my lips the problems started up again.
Please pray for me. Now that I’m almost certain that it’s demonic I have more faith to put my sacramentals to better use for protection, but they’re not necessarily going to be powerful enough to free me any time soon, and they’re trying to convince me that the priests I talk to will just think it’s my pre-existing mental illness - but it never manifests like this, and all these issues didn’t start until I converted. Not to mention the whole mortal-sin-cures-it thing.
Please pray for me. Now that I’m almost certain that it’s demonic I have more faith to put my sacramentals to better use for protection, but they’re not necessarily going to be powerful enough to free me any time soon, and they’re trying to convince me that the priests I talk to will just think it’s my pre-existing mental illness - but it never manifests like this, and all these issues didn’t start until I converted. Not to mention the whole mortal-sin-cures-it thing.