Need prayers urgently for my relationship

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Hilary_K

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I’ve been dating this wonderful man named John for almost two years. He is kind, sweet, funny, and I literally love everything about him. John and I have been having a very troubled time these past few months. We plan on marrying and starting a life together, but we keep having more and more relationship problems. I accepted a job where I now work 60+ hours a week, and am trying to complete my college degree. I am under enormous stress, and have been unintentionally taking it out on him. I’ve been snippy, I haven’t been as nice as I usually am, and I’ve been unintentionally leaving him out of important parts of my life.

Last night, I started a fight with him accidentally. He brought up the fact that he feels I have changed, that we have grown apart, and that we are not as compatible anymore. He feels like he might break up with me. I desperately need your prayers. I have been crying for the past 8 hours and can find no peace. I can’t eat or sleep. I love this man with my whole heart. I apologized to him and let him know I would find better ways to deal with the stress, and I’m so sorry I took things out on him. I never meant to. He’s still very upset with me.

Please pray that we can find healing in this relationship. We are two people who love each other very much but are going through a difficult time. I have no friends to turn to, no family that I can count on to help me. I need God’s help, and I need your help. So please…pray for me.
 
I’ve been there too. Sad to say I’ve treated my wife badly during times of stress. Unfortunately the only remedy I found was to change my attitude (still a work in progress) and try to prove to her over time that I respect her. Now it sounds like you realize how much this man means to you, and you’ve experienced the real possibility of him leaving. So make a decision whether work and school should be higher or lower priorities than always treating him kindly, with love.

I’ll pray for you.
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end Amen
 
Thank you for the prayers and (name removed by moderator)ut. You’re absolutely right, I do have my priorities wrong. I just pray that he gives me another chance. I am usually a very loving and sweet person, and I hate that the stress from my situation has gotten taken out on him. I just pray he will give me the chance to show him that I can do better.
 
Are these stressful times to be temporary? Say six months or so?

Also - will your career ultimately outpace his? Does he feel threatened?

Is he ‘growing’ ( I use this terms for lack of a better one, for education is not necessarily growth.) in terms of education for himself as well?
 
Yes, these times are temporary. I had to ramp up my hours past 60 hours a week because the manager of the store I work in quit suddenly. It’s a small, independent business. The owner is trying to hire another worker, but until then I can’t reduce my hours any. I was previously working about 35 hours a week, so this jump to more than 60 has been very difficult for me. I have no free time to deal with the increased stress, so it is coming out on the one I love the most. I hate that, and I never ever want that to happen again.

Yes, My career probably will outpace his (I am about to complete my college degree and he doesn’t have a college education). He is trying to go back to school and finish his degree, but he and I both have financial difficulties that make it almost impossible.
 
You’ve been dating for two years and you haven’t married; during that time you have been having lots of relationship problems; and you have no friends.

Prayer is great, but I think maybe you need to think twice about continuing this relationship.
 
Sounds like you be in a crunch moment then. This will pass sooner or later. The old trick in* marriage* (and dating partners as well methinks) is to not have both of you go nuts at the same time. There will be even more stressful times down the road when one is married. It is part and parcel of it all.

You made your apology. It is up to him now. He must be feeling the stress of the finances as well… I wonder …does he really think his finances will improve if you break up? Perhaps he just needs a ‘pep’ talk.

Of course one thing to look out for is he may be engaging in the company of another… If that is the case it will be hard to compete against the ‘newness’ of another relationship. I would look for the usual signs of this possibility. As they say…the spouse/significant other dating partner, is the last to know…

Sorry if I am not helping. I just like to cover all bases.
 
I pray that the Lord’s gentle and leading hand will give you peace and direction in your relationship. Relationships are hard and we often take things out on the people that we care about the most. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship can testify to the ups and downs and the amount of work that it takes from both parties to make it succeed.

As a side note, in my honest opinion, this is one the main reasons why priests should not marry. Tending God’s flock is more than enough for them to deal with without all of the challenges of having a successful marraige.
 
The reason I don’t have friends is because I had to relocate, and so did they. They graduated college last year and moved back to their respective parts of the country. I still communicate with them, but I don’t have any local friends in this city, so it makes things a little harder. Due to my work/school schedule, I don’t have the time to go out and make friends either. We didn’t have relationship problems until the past several months when both of us started working more hours and living with more and more stress. I do see your point though, and I appreciate the advice.

Discontinuing the relationship would not solve these problems, only make me lonlier. I love him more than anything and had planned to start a life together with him soon in marriage. The relationship problems are temporary and caused by my attitude while under stress, and his attitude while under stress. It’s just something we have to overcome.
 
Nimzovik, thank you for the prayers.

I know he is not seeing anyone else. Both of us promised that if we needed to date other people for a while, we would just be honest and clear about it. He has promised me that if that situation arose, and he did feel like dating other people, he would tell me. I trust him, and I know he has been honest with me.
He has stated he doesn’t want to break up with me, he only questions our compatibility and has fears about us for the future. I don’t think this implies the presence of another woman. I think this is completely reasonable. He thinks I have changed because he sees my snippy behavior when I am very stressed from the job changes. He doesn’t realize this a temporary problem for me that I can solve. I have told him this but he is a bit skeptical, so I need God’s help for him to realize this.
 
Oh well! Hey! You are human. You did apologize and you did say you are trying-right?. So! Where is your back rub then? You need some understanding too! Hey! A little help from my friends -eh? He needs to be part of the solution, not part of the problem!

However, if you both be too stressed for too long and can not make it under these circumstances, then something must give. If the knee jerk reaction is the relationship must go, then think again buster! Good relationships do **not **grow on trees you know! Trust me on this one! Your indeed coud be the one! What? He wants to regreat losing you for the rest of his life?

So. If the situation demands it…then one of you must scale back. temporarily, at least. yes? The world economy is presently brutal. Many are losing their homes. Many must leave their home states to find employment.

Tell him to buck up!

Of course do it with a loving voice…😉
 
Yeah, I’m going to talk to the store owner about scaling back my hours a bit. With no free time for either of us at this point with all the work we do, it’s really easy for us to take out our problems on each other other. I feel like if I had even an hour a day to de-stress, I would not be half as snappy or short-tempered with him. I think he really needs to find a way to do the same because it would benefit both of us.
 
Hilary_K said:
The reason I don’t have friends is because I had to relocate, and so did they. They graduated college last year and moved back to their respective parts of the country. I still communicate with them, but I don’t have any local friends in this city, so it makes things a little harder. Due to my work/school schedule, I don’t have the time to go out and make friends either. We didn’t have relationship problems until the past several months when both of us started working more hours and living with more and more stress. I do see your point though, and I appreciate the advice.

Discontinuing the relationship would not solve these problems, only make me lonlier. I love him more than anything and had planned to start a life together with him soon in marriage. The relationship problems are temporary and caused by my attitude while under stress, and his attitude while under stress. It’s just something we have to overcome.
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Well, with the benefit of hindsight, now that the relationship is officially over (cf. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=689725), I just want to remind you that the way someone handles “stress” is not something that suddenly changes on one auspicious Saturday afternoon. If your relationship ended because of the stress of the last several months, then it would have ended once the stresses of married life - which are often worse, and deeper - would have gotten laid on your shoulders.
 
need a wee prayer said for me and my girlfriend. she was 16 i was 17 at the time we meet. im now 22 and shes now 21. we have been threw soo much ups and downs. but the best of it was weve had alot of good times. and we were meant to be as we both say. but now after all this time she donst want me and ive loved her and companyed her from i was 17 to now. its a long time. for not trying to keep her. as im so afraid to lose her. and its killin me. please can i get a littie prayer said for me and her to help us get threw this bad patch thank you
 
Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be
done, on earth as it is in heaven Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil. Amen

Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee
blessed art thou among women and
blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus
Holy Mary mother of God pray for us
sinners now and at the hour of our death
Amen.

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning is now ever shall be world without end
Amen
 
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