Need serious advice about a complicated situation

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alex_oni

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So these last month has been pretty intense. I became friends with this couple i know from school and we hanged out for a while.Well the girl started to flirt with me and so did I. I knew nothing would come from it but I know it was wrong.So one night she tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend. She wanted to talk so we met up together.We ended up kissing but that was it.But it turns out she was just using me to break up with her BF and that they were still together.We were still friends, I stayed friends to support her she can be unstable at times and I felt like I was the only one there to help her. She left the house because she was afraid of her mother, her mother is bipolar and once held a knife to her, she she went to a hotel and I went with her, stupid I know. we ended up having sex. Apparently thinking that her and her BF were broken up. So she still wanted to keep me as a friend besides the protests from her BF. me and the girl both lied to him and hid facts away. Her bf doesn’t trust her at all because she has done this in the past. Im thinking of telling her to tell her BF the complete truth about everything. Im a little catuios because her BF is suicidal at the moment because he wants a reason to live and she and her child is that reason. Its a really unhealthy relationship between two needy and unstable people.But I think he deserves to know the truth and there relationship wont work if its totally not open. I already lost both of them as friends and feel like IO shouldn’t get further involved.She really does like me and so do I strictly as friends though.I want her to tell him the truth and I have feeling the relationship is going to fail. So on one hand id lose a friend forever and screw up her relationship and might cause her unstable BF to kill himself. On the other hand I feel like its the right thing to do because he deserves the truth.Or maybe I should just drop it all together. I don’t know what to do.
 
You’re Catholic right? First go to confession. Next, leave the entire situation and everyone involved behind you.
 
Right on. Its gonna be hard im used to finishing things and seeing them to the end.But it looks like Im not gonna be any help here.And its wrong for me to butt into there lives at this point. Im going to just haft to trust she will do the right thing.Kinda hard because we were really close, almost like family.
 
Yes, go to confession. Next, never repeat that mistake - if a woman who is someone else’s girlfriend flirts with you, run away quickly. You committed many sins, please do a thorough examination of conscience so you are repentant and you understand your sins.

p.s. NEVER tell someone what they “deserve to know.” Think carefully before telling anyone something that will do them no good whatsoever. This impulse to be honest with people about information that will only hurt them is cruel and wrong. You do not owe that kind of cruelty to this man. Leave him alone.
 
Alex I think it would be best to leave these people be. You became part of the problem, not part of the solution when you slept with her.
You can pray for them but you should stay away form her as you have created a bad precedent could easily be repeated given the right emotional circumstances. Even if she were broken up from her boyfriend, as a Catholic you shouldn’t sleep with her.

It’s up to her to tell her boyfriend the truth or not. It isn’t for you to tell her what to say to her boyfriend. You are too involved don’t you think? Their relationship is their business.

The girl lied to him and lied to you. I would have thought it very unwise to become entangled with someone who is a liar, and you cannot be sure she also hasn’t lied about her family. These people may need genuine professional help. If her boyfriend is suicidal, he definitely needs real help.

May God guide you to act in the best interests of all concerned. Please remember to pray for these people but please be very careful in what you do regarding them.
 
Tietjen said:
You’re Catholic right? First go to confession. Next, leave the entire situation and everyone involved behind you.
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Exactly. You will find reconciliation with your Priest, not by confessing to your male friend.

You really don’t need this. They are too troubled and you are not in a position to fix things for them.
 
I got stressed out just reading this post. I agree with everyone…go to confession to start with. Since your asking for my opinion…on the limited information you have provided I can’t see a healthy relationship (either as a couple or friend) forming here. I would probably just step away from the whole situation.

But…I think you would be best off talking to your priest and asking for a professional counselor (who is aware of Catholic teachings) to give you the proper advise on how to handle this situation…especially because the concern of someone who is suicidal.

Things like this are best handled by people who are trained to understand this situation from all angles…not by a bunch of strangers on an open forum (even though I love my fellow Catholic posters).
 
I agree wholeheartedly with the other posters. Go to confession. Then given the situation of her suicidal BF I’d say nothing and leave them behind. Anymore involvement from you (not that it’s your fault per’se can only cause more harm that good.
 
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