need some encouragement

[diggnitty]

Hi. I am being drawn to the Catholic Church by the Holy Spirit. I have been married four times. My wife is not a Catholic but is an unbaptized believer who attends a non denominational church. I love my wife very much and am very sorry for the mistakes I have made in the past concerning my previous marriages. I don’t want to lose this wife too. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I know Jesus has a plan for my life in the Catholic Church. Heres the rub. My wife feels threatened by me becoming Catholic because she is afraid that I won’t be able to annull my previous marriages thus making our marriage not valid. She has also asked me to put off seeking the Catholic Church during this time because our marriage is in crisis. She wants me to continue to go to church with her so we can have that in common. I do love her and made a commitment to her and God at our marriage. I feel confused because I want to follow my Lord into the Catholic Church but at the same time honor my previous commitment to God and my wife when I married her.
Any suggestions?

 

[LISA_Annette]

Hi. I am being drawn to the Catholic Church by the Holy Spirit. I have been married four times. My wife is not a Catholic but is an unbaptized believer who attends a non denominational church. I love my wife very much and am very sorry for the mistakes I have made in the past concerning my previous marriages. I don’t want to lose this wife too. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I know Jesus has a plan for my life in the Catholic Church. Heres the rub. My wife feels threatened by me becoming Catholic because she is afraid that I won’t be able to annull my previous marriages thus making our marriage not valid. She has also asked me to put off seeking the Catholic Church during this time because our marriage is in crisis. She wants me to continue to go to church with her so we can have that in common. I do love her and made a commitment to her and God at our marriage. I feel confused because I want to follow my Lord into the Catholic Church but at the same time honor my previous commitment to God and my wife when I married her.
Any suggestions?

I think your wifes fears are unfounded—I believe (i hope i am right—someone correct me) that because you were*** not ***Catholic in your previous marriages, you do not have to annul the marriages in the Church. Please talk to a good and knowledgeable priest about this! Don’t let half-truths or unsureness get in the way of the holy Spirit working in your life—not that He isn’t MORE POWERFUL than that (sorry God)—but just go to a priest, and get yourself into RCIA. May the Holy Spirit lead you to the right priest. Amen. Call up the nearest church, and make an appointment. Your marital crisis IS a reason for you to come into the Church. you will have our Eucharistic Lord to help you!

 

[1ke]

I think your wifes fears are unfounded—I believe (i hope i am right—someone correct me) that because you were*** not ***Catholic in your previous marriages, you do not have to annul the marriages in the Church.

This is not correct.

Each marriage does indeed have to be examined and validity determined.

Please talk to a good and knowledgeable priest about this!

Yes, discussing the situation with a priest, and a canon lawyer, is definitely the first step.

 

[1ke]

Hi. I am being drawn to the Catholic Church by the Holy Spirit. I have been married four times. My wife is not a Catholic but is an unbaptized believer who attends a non denominational church. I love my wife very much and am very sorry for the mistakes I have made in the past concerning my previous marriages. I don’t want to lose this wife too. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and I know Jesus has a plan for my life in the Catholic Church. Heres the rub. My wife feels threatened by me becoming Catholic because she is afraid that I won’t be able to annull my previous marriages thus making our marriage not valid. She has also asked me to put off seeking the Catholic Church during this time because our marriage is in crisis. She wants me to continue to go to church with her so we can have that in common. I do love her and made a commitment to her and God at our marriage. I feel confused because I want to follow my Lord into the Catholic Church but at the same time honor my previous commitment to God and my wife when I married her.
Any suggestions?

This is indeed a sensitive situation. Do make an appointment to talk to a priest.

No one here can tell you what to do. But, personally I’ve found that putting God first is the right path, the rest follows from there. When I try to put other things first… well, it just doesn’t seem to work out very well.

 

[LISA_Annette]

This is not correct.

Each marriage does indeed have to be examined and validity determined.

Yes, discussing the situation with a priest, and a canon lawyer, is definitely the first step.

Good Thanks—I am always so afraid to speak up for fear of misleading someone, but I wanted to encourage him—but I sure hope that he follows your advice and consults a canon lawyer.

 

[Charitychick]

This is indeed a sensitive situation. Do make an appointment to talk to a priest.

No one here can tell you what to do. But, personally I’ve found that putting God first is the right path, the rest follows from there. When I try to put other things first… well, it just doesn’t seem to work out very well.

Right on!

 

[JohnPaulTwoToo]

I feel confused because I want to follow my Lord into the Catholic Church but at the same time honor my previous commitment to God and my wife when I married her.
Any suggestions?

God’s gotcha, going both ways!

Start reading about Catholic teaching about marriage – awsome! Read up on JPII’s Theology of the Body, and Love and Responsibility. Read up on Paul IV’s encyclical Humanæ Vitæ. The Catholic belief in the sacramental nature of marriage is incredibly strong support for your marriage. Here’s a quick start: The Great Mystery of Marriage

 

[RWMorris]

Your first order of business is talking to a priest about your past marriages. Your second order of business is to love your wife! Continue going to church with her but I would suggest going to Mass, also, when you can. God is drawing you in for a reason - and that reason is the Catholic Church is the one true church. We found that out ourselves as converts to this beautiful true faith. Keep praying and try to learn the Rosary - it is a very helpful prayer!

 

[diggnitty]

Thank you everyone for your wonderful and thoughtful posts. Everything that everyone has said is in line with all the councel I have recieved from the RCIA councelors that I have met. I will be meeting with the priest out here in Grass Valley tomorrow. I am learning the rosary and listening to alot of Catholic radio/podcasts. Thank you again everyone. I am sure we will cat again.