Need some guidance re: Catholic HS

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1990Domer

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Hi Everyone and God bless. Or perhaps greetings from the somewhat unhinged mom who is on edge about her son.

In any case, we want to send DS with Aspergers Syndrome to a brick and mortar Catholic school after he completes cyber school this year. We sent him to a summer enrichment camp at an all boys Catholic school that had a special program for kids with learning differences, including Aspergers. What we thought would be great for my son (based on others’ opinions) did not prove to be true. The school is located in a more tony suburb of Philly. We live in a more rural area about 20 miles away.

He likes the thought of our Church’s sending high school, as the vocations director and theology teacher is in residence at our Church (and my son serves mass for him). I know I posted this earlier in the parenting section, which I think gets fewer reads. My question is…how can I tell it is authentic Catholic? The priest there surely is, but I don’t know how to gauge curriculums or religious standards.

If anyone can help, that would be great, as my doctor thinks I really need to be more hands off. Well, so does DH. But after having a stillborn girl and then DS as a preemie (we had huge fertility issues), I know I need to let him spread his wings.

Thanks again and God bless.
 
how can I tell it is authentic Catholic?
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Have a conversation with the priest and those in charge. You should be able to gauge fairly well how orthodox they are in terms of the teaching of the faith.
 
Thank you for the reply. I have had a talk with Father, who actually said Mass tonight. He knows us well. When I told him about the school my son didn’t like, he tried to be cordial but said he was not surprised. DS is discerning a vocation, bless his heart. I don’t know if it’s in God’s plan, but I am hoping he follows in the steps of his confirmation saint (Maximilion Kolbe).

The other school we considered reminded me of the high school version of Georgetown (sorry to offend if there are alums reading).
 
Sounds like you have a pretty good idea already. Your son can always try it and decide for himself if it’s “Catholic enough”. (for want of a better term)

I’m not from Georgetown anyway. I don’t even get the joke. lol

😃
 
Hi,
I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. My daughter attends a Catholic high school, and, to be honest, I think it’s worth it. I think that most of the teachers (especially religion teachers) are orthodox and devout, and some are perhaps less so. Same for the kids - - a lot of kids who take their faith very seriously, and some who are just going through the motions. I think your child will gravitate toward similar kids, my daughter has. Her friends go to rosary club during lunch, are planning to go to a retreat with Dominican Sisters, etc. There are plenty of “party” kids as well, it’s just not who my daughter hangs around with. Overall I think it’s a great benefit to go to Catholic high school, and well worth the effort. I think it depends on the bishop, and how he directs the diocese in general. Our bishop seems really hands-on with the high schools.
Good luck trying to figure this out, just remember that it’s not permanent if doesn’t work out for your family.
 
See if the school you are thinking about has an open house day. Our school has that every year. It was precisely so parents and prospective students could see how the school is. They gave tours of the building and maybe even let people visit classes while they were in session.

If your son likes the idea of that school, that’s already a step in the right direction! 🙂
 
1990Domer said:
Hi Everyone and God bless. Or perhaps greetings from the somewhat unhinged mom who is on edge about her son.

In any case, we want to send DS with Aspergers Syndrome to a brick and mortar Catholic school after he completes cyber school this year. We sent him to a summer enrichment camp at an all boys Catholic school that had a special program for kids with learning differences, including Aspergers. What we thought would be great for my son (based on others’ opinions) did not prove to be true. The school is located in a more tony suburb of Philly. We live in a more rural area about 20 miles away.

He likes the thought of our Church’s sending high school, as the vocations director and theology teacher is in residence at our Church (and my son serves mass for him). I know I posted this earlier in the parenting section, which I think gets fewer reads. My question is…how can I tell it is authentic Catholic? The priest there surely is, but I don’t know how to gauge curriculums or religious standards.

If anyone can help, that would be great, as my doctor thinks I really need to be more hands off. Well, so does DH. But after having a stillborn girl and then DS as a preemie (we had huge fertility issues), I know I need to let him spread his wings.

Thanks again and God bless.
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Some thoughts:
  1. Look at the web page and look at the staff profiles and look at the list of extracurriculars and clubs. That should give you some idea.
  2. This could be an amazing experience or it could be a disaster, so I understand your anxiety.
  3. I’d want to make sure that your son has a staff person he is familiar with and that is available to him in case he has questions or concerns.
  4. What are the school’s provisions for special needs children? How much experience do they have dealing successfully with mainstreaming autistic children? Who is the contact person for that?
  5. With our daughter, for quite a number of years we had a beginning-of-year meeting where her psychologist would come and talk to all of her teachers at the same time, give an account of her progress, and answer questions (I’d go too). That was very helpful throughout elementary school. The psychologist started to flake out about booking that the last couple years, so I wound up running the meeting myself for 7th grade (that was important, because it was a new school building). For 8th grade, we didn’t do it–I couldn’t manage to get the psychologist to set it up. We’re going into 9th grade right now and I haven’t even tried to do the meeting, but I’m hoping that the teachers mostly know my daughter by now. Fingers crossed!
But going into a new school, I would definitely want to make sure that his new teachers are aware of his issues.
  1. I think it’s appropriate to be “hands on” when launching your son at a new school after so many travails, at least initially, but you’ll need to fade out.
  2. Could the school do a social skills group or have they done one in the past?
Good luck!
 
Some schools also offer prospective students the opportunity to “shadow” another student.

I wonder if that’s an option?
 
Hi Everyone!

Thanks for the AWESOME ideas! They do have an Open House and Shadow Day. They even asked me who he might like to go with, and a kid from his youth group goes there who is fond of my son.

Our in residence priest would be his freshman year teacher and is on staff as vocations director.

They have a “vocations discerning club.”

But I love the idea of having DS’s psychologist speaking with the teachers.

I will write a little more later, but God bless you all!
 
Looking over the suggestions you have received from others I feel that I can only add one more idea to a great list. This school should have one or more counselor(s) who I feel should be involved in this decision and I believe can be very helpful to you in the process. School counselors deal with the IEP’s that would probably be involved with your son and they know the school and what it would take for him to be successful. If you decide to send him I urge you to write a letter to share with his teacher’s describing the unique personality of your son and what they can expect or look for in his classroom behavior and academic progress. When I was teaching a mother did this for us a week before her son came to our school and assure you it was cery helpful. Praying for you as you make this decision.
 
mountee said:
Looking over the suggestions you have received from others I feel that I can only add one more idea to a great list. This school should have one or more counselor(s) who I feel should be involved in this decision and I believe can be very helpful to you in the process. School counselors deal with the IEP’s that would probably be involved with your son and they know the school and what it would take for him to be successful. If you decide to send him I urge you to write a letter to share with his teacher’s describing the unique personality of your son and what they can expect or look for in his classroom behavior and academic progress. When I was teaching a mother did this for us a week before her son came to our school and assure you it was cery helpful. Praying for you as you make this decision.
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Yes!
 
I certainly appreciate all these suggestions. He has really grown so much this summer and even during cyber school last year. In all honesty, the Catholic school we had him in admitted students they just could not handle, especially given that there was no full time guidance counselor (rather, one that came two hours per week and supplied by the county).

Moving him to cyber school allowed us to have him fully reevaluated by the school district because he left the district being on an IEP. The biggest thing he realized going through cyber school was 1) his old school was an exception and 2) there are kids who appreciate his talents. It’s sad that they lived all over our state, but he did get to meet a few, and that made him happy.

Having a sit down and helpful hints for his teachers will be awesome. Knowing that our priest will be one of those teachers is even better. And brilliant to have his psychologist join us. She knows the school and gave it a good endorsement.

This is such a big decision year, and I just feel like I have been a rotten parent by trying options that the “experts” thought would be good for him. Last night, he hugged me when he was recounting a story and I replied, “Chris, I totally believe the more savvy kid set you up to get you in trouble.” He hugged me and said, "Mom that’s the best thing you could have said because you know I wasn’t lying. Wow. He was holding in grief and disappointment for two years.

But it took DS getting self confidence for him to articulate himself to me. Thank you again everyone for taking the time to reply.

God bless!
 
1990Domer said:
I certainly appreciate all these suggestions. He has really grown so much this summer and even during cyber school last year. In all honesty, the Catholic school we had him in admitted students they just could not handle, especially given that there was no full time guidance counselor (rather, one that came two hours per week and supplied by the county).

Moving him to cyber school allowed us to have him fully reevaluated by the school district because he left the district being on an IEP. The biggest thing he realized going through cyber school was 1) his old school was an exception and 2) there are kids who appreciate his talents. It’s sad that they lived all over our state, but he did get to meet a few, and that made him happy.

Having a sit down and helpful hints for his teachers will be awesome. Knowing that our priest will be one of those teachers is even better. And brilliant to have his psychologist join us. **She knows the school and gave it a good endorsement. **

This is such a big decision year, and I just feel like I have been a rotten parent by trying options that the “experts” thought would be good for him. Last night, he hugged me when he was recounting a story and I replied, “Chris, I totally believe the more savvy kid set you up to get you in trouble.” He hugged me and said, "Mom that’s the best thing you could have said because you know I wasn’t lying. Wow. He was holding in grief and disappointment for two years.

But it took DS getting self confidence for him to articulate himself to me. Thank you again everyone for taking the time to reply.

God bless!
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Very good!

It means a lot if the psychologist approves of the school, because she’ll have seen kids like your son either fail or thrive at different schools, so that’s a great sign.
 
Domer, things sound like they are looking up and falling into place for your son, but also for you. You sound a little less stressed and a bit more ready to hover less! He is growing up right before your eyes in leaps and bounds! God bless you! 🙂
 
Xantippe said:
Very good!

It means a lot if the psychologist approves of the school, because she’ll have seen kids like your son either fail or thrive at different schools, so that’s a great sign.
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I never thought of it that way! Thanks Xantippe.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Domer, things sound like they are looking up and falling into place for your son, but also for you. You sound a little less stressed and a bit more ready to hover less! He is growing up right before your eyes in leaps and bounds! God bless you! 🙂
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Doing an hour of weekly adoration has really helped. It truly allows me to turn many of my worries over to our Lord. This cyber school year, I have taken myself largely out of the hovering equation and allowed DH’s mentor/tutor to take over. In turn, I am helping our church raise much needed funds to stay solvent and studying/reading more.

Weirdly, what has helped is all the attention young girls are now paying to my son, who has no interest whatsoever. He has really matured into a nice looking young man. And the looks all come from his dad.
 
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