Need some help. i feel like i cant be forgiven

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justawhisper

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i know there may be several other posts like this, or have been in the past, but i need some peace of mind.

i have been struggling for several years with my delima. i feel as though i am doomed, and/or damned to hell. i have asked for forgiveness of my sins, but i dont feel like i can be forgiven. mainly, because when i did these things (denied God, spoke against him, lying stealing, premarital sex (which would include cheating on my boyfriend), drugs, to name a few), i knew they were wrong but decided to do them anyways. i feel so ashamed of my past. but i have changed. i am married now, and i cant even take 20 cents from someone. i despise lying. you get the idea. i try to live my life better, try to make better decisions. but i feel like no matter what i do or how much i pray, God is just simply not going to forgive me. my mother (who is non-denominational) fears that my feeling this way may be a form of rejecting God, because i am rejecting his word. [this is another layer of guilt on top of all that!] and i know, who i am that makes me so special that i cannot be forgiven, but thats just how i feel. i also suffer from hypo-mania, and have anxiety issues. i worry myself to death. i think i need to go speak to a priest. i have not gone through the RCIA classes yet, i have not been confirmed. i will be doing this hopefully in august, when it starts up again. maybe someone could refer a specific book or prayer that might help me overcome my worries. some days are better than others, i feel God throughout the whole day and it is a pleasing feeling, like he is right there, or he sent someone there to be with me. and others i feel like he’s so far, and/or i just have these demons on my back. its hard to explain. like i said, any thoughts or words of wisdom would be greatly appriciated.
 
The Devil is the father of lies, and the lie is his weapon of choice.
You have turned to Jesus. The devil is desperate to get you back, so he torments you with lies. He wants you to give up, to despair.
The strength of your temptation to despair is only proof of the devil’s desperation. He can’t turn you away from God. Losing his power over you, he rages helplessly.

Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, rejoice. 🙂 He is with you, always, as much when you don’t feel His presence as when you do.

The Gospel of Luke 19: 1-10.
Christ came to Zaccheus, the despised tax collector. He ate with him, He said “The Son of Man has come to seek and save the lost.”
In Isreal at that time, tax collectors were the lowest of the low, despised collaborators with the Roman conquerers. Yet Christ went out of His way to come to one of them. Will He be less merciful to you?
He will surely be merciful to you. 🙂
 
These feelings you have are one of the unfortunate consequences of past sin. You can know that you’re forgiven but still feel as though you are not. Remember that they are just that: feelings. Feelings can and do change over time.

I also heartily recommend a book that I think you’ll find very helpful. It is called “I Believe in Love”. It was written by a priest and is based on the teachings of St. Therese of Lisieux.

Here’s the link at Amazon.com:

amazon.com/Believe-Love-Personal-Retreat-Teaching/dp/1928832288/sr=8-1/qid=1171750774/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-3138685-7943965?ie=UTF8&s=books

This book will help you discover just how much Our Lord really loves you. It helps you believe that God really is happy with you as you are. Not that this is an excuse for not trying to be better, but you come to see God as a loving father rather than as a policeman.

I don’t know if you have any kids, but when you have kids you really can begin to understand how it is possible to love them just as they are, with all their faults and failings (and sins). You also learn how it is possible to truly forgive them, even to the point that you don’t even remember their offenses.

I hope you get the book and read it slowly. Meditate on it. Think about it while you’re driving instead of listening to the radio. Lent is about to start, and I believe that if you take this book to heart, you will have the best lent of your life. And when Easter comes, you will see that instead of continually reminding you of your guilt, the Lord releases you from it when you place yourself in his loving hands with the abandonment of a little child who needs to be reassured of his father’s love.

Remember that the Lord doesn’t forgive you because you are good and worthy of his forgiveness. He forgives you because HE is good.
 
justawhisper said:
i . i think i need to go speak to a priest. i have not gone through the RCIA classes yet, i have not been confirmed. i will be doing this hopefully in august, when it starts up again. maybe someone could refer a specific book or prayer that might help me overcome my worries. .
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There is nothing wrong with going to a Priest NOW and doing a full confession. I am in RCIA, but not confirmed. But i did a one hour confession on 14 February. Read Psalm 51. Go to confession with a contrite heart. 👍
 
Dear JW,

I hope this post finds you and your family in good health and spirits.

As a fellow sinner in this world, I feel if you pray, I mean really humble yourself in front of the Lord and pray deeply and fervently, your prayer will be heard. Sometimes, God will answer our prayers but the effect may be transparent to us because we’re too wrapped up in other things. We must try to be fully cognizant of all God is doing for us.

The bottom line is prayer works. SEMPER ORARE … always pray.

Renew your faith to God each morning, be thankful for all that God has given you, ask for His blessing throughout your day, and ask for the strength of faith and courage to serve Him. Give thanks before meals and so on. Find times to pray to God, believe me there are always opportunities. Especially before bed, reflect on your day by asking for God’s forgiveness for the days transgressions. This may sound weird, but given the opportunity pray out loud to God.

Believe me you are not alone in your feelings. The entire church is filled with sin.

Pray for God’s peace and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. You will receive it when the time is right. But don’t let your guilt prevent you from seeking advice. Contact your local Parish priest. He will pray with you, help you reflect on your past, and help you get back within the Grace of Christ. Approaching him is the hardest part, but you can pray for the strength to do that.

Another thing you can do that is therapeutic to the soul is help someone less fortunate that you. Volunteer at an orphanage or retirement home. Donate food, clothing, or hygiene products to any homeless ministry within your area. Remember you live your faith. Do this and I believe you will start to feel peace again. There is much good in this and God will see your efforts to please Him.

Finally, don’t forget to read your bible. You’ll find all types of examples of sinners who have done far worse than you and have found God’s peace, love and forgiveness.

From what you’ve written you’ve made a great effort to change your life, just remember to love God and do your best to keep his commandments.

May God bless you!
Luke 15
The Parable of the Lost Sheep
1Now the tax collectors and “sinners” were all gathering around to hear him. 2But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.”
3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Your brother in Christ,

Jesse
 
You are a beloved daughter of God, and he is impatient to hear your prayer and to forgive you. Don’t you think for a second that you aren’t or couldn’t possibly be loved or forgiven. Don’t you ever! :angel1:
 
justawhisper said:
maybe someone could refer a specific book or prayer that might help me
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Dear Justawhisper:

Have you considered a persistent praying of the Liturgy of the Hours? They are prayed at set times during the day. They sanctify the time, and they provide a constant and stabilizing pulse of prayer and reassurance. Further, as part of the Liturgy (the public prayer of the Church) you speak to God, not only with your voice, but in union with all of the faithful who have and continue to pray the hours constantly. Your prayers for forgiveness will be joined to the prayers of the Church, for your benefit and for all sinners throughout the world and throughout history.

Prominent in the Hours are the Psalms. As a basis for prayer, the Psalms are extraordinary. They are the hymns which God prescribed for worship in the Temple at Jerusalem and for all time in the Church. Many of the Psalms express feelings like the one’s you describe. Perhaps a persistent experience of the Psalms in the context of the Hours will help bring your feelings into line with the truth that God can and will forgive you, if you seek His forgiveness with a contrite heart in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If you would like to try praying the Liturgy of the Hours, the texts are available online at universalis.com/.

The online version is good, if you have constant access to a computer. However, if you decide to take up this devotion permanently, the books are best, since they can be carried wherever you go.

Pax Christi tecum.

John Hiner

PS If you decide to try doing the Hours, do not over-commit. The Hours are a fairly advanced form of prayer. Sometimes people are ready for them and sometimes not. I would not want you to take them up for a time and then feel guilty, if you find that you do not choose to continue. So, it is probably best to try them on a short term. Make a commitment to pray the hours for nine days (a traditional novena) or for three days, then stick to it. At the end of that period, decide whether to continue or not. If you decide to continue, make another commitment of a novena or a month or other manageable time period. This way you can complete your commitment and not feel guilt, if you decide that this devotion is not for you at this time.

I will add you to my intentions when I pray the Hours.

Pax.
 
For several decades my father did not feel that he could not be forgiven for the things he had done during WWII. Eventually it got thru to him, as I pray that it will for you, justawhisper, that there isn’t anything that you could have done that is soooooo big but that what Jesus did on the cross isn’t bigger.

Think of your sins as insects. However big each individual insect may be, He’s got a swatter that can handle it.

DaveBj
 
justawhisper said:
but i have changed.
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do you honestly think that you could become good enough to earn God’s love…???

no one … not one of us on earth can do that!!!

we are all sinners and God loves us inspite of it !!!

remember that it is his GRACE that saves us and nothing else…
so there is nothing that you can do or not do that would make you lose his love for you…

so rest easy my dear… you are no better or no worse off than any of us on this earth…

enjoy your life and praise the Lord!!!

😃 😃 😃
 
If God can forgive you, who are you to say you know better than God Himself?😉

Certainly, speak to a priest and look into attending RCIA classes if offered at the parish. Confession is a good place to remove the stain of sin, but until then, be prayerful; God understands your heart and intentions. He recognizes a contrite heart. You need to realize that the sins you mention are nothing to to either God or your priest.

It is like you are carrying around a backpack loaded with bricks and Christ is offering to help lighten your load and you refuse to let Him. Let Him help you with the burden for a while until you can make a Sacramental Confession.

When God forgives our sins, He removes them from our souls and destroys the sins. When you walk out of the confessional, your sins are gone. God looks upon you as a beloved child without all of the baggage you entered the confessional with.

Peace to you,

Kelly
 
As soon as I read the title of your post, I knew exactly how you feel. I have had a lifetime full of addiction. All kinds of addiction. I had prayed about it so much. But it wasn’t until I took it to confession that I finally felt free. By all means please talk to a priest. I think you could benefit so much from it. I did and it helped me so much. And you need to forgive yourself. We all sin. All the time. I sin every single day. And please know you are beautiful. God made you special and unique. There is noone just like you. All I know is after I talked to a priest that I felt comfortable with, things really changed for the better. And you will learn to forgive yourself. This is something the priest told me I had to do. I didn’t like hearing it. I felt I didn’t deserve forgiveness. But he was right. Please know that help is available. Please know that it will be okay. You are a child of God. And he doesn’t make junk. You can pm me anytime. I think you are beautiful no matter what you have done.
Love,
Karen
 
Old saying:

‘God doesn’t make junk, He just collects it’

You are no better or worse than the next person, we are all sinners and God desires you as a child of His. You are chosen by Him, you are loved by Him.

You just don’t believe it that He wants you, loves you and forgives you. I know I don’t believe my luck most days, that God Almighty would want junk like me, but He does and He wants you too, all of you.

In my prayers.
 
justawhisper,

God has forgiven many people for all the things you listed and more. There is nothing God cannot do! 🙂

I’m convinced you’re feeling your guardian angel near you during the day. Angels are not just pretty stories for children, we each have an angel that God created to watch over us. You can try praying to St. Michael the Archangel and your guardian angel to watch over you and help you combat feelings of doubt.

God bless you on your journey and I’ll be praying for you!

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle.
Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,
and do thou,
O Prince of the heavenly hosts,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits,
who prowl about the world
seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

and

Dear Angel, in his goodness God gave you to me to guide, protect and enlighten me, and to being me back to the right way when I go astray. Encourage me when I am disheartened, and instruct me when I err in my judgment. Help me to become more Christlike, and so some day to be accepted into the company of Angels and Saints in heaven. Amen.
 
Have you considered that if you know God has forgiven you, you have a duty to forgive yourself, just as you would have a duty to forgive someone who has offended you in some way?

Just a thought.

Also, I’m a big fan of contemplative prayer- rosary, the Divine Mercy, Jesus Prayer, etc. It’s very calming and soothing. It can help you stop running your sins over and over in your mind. Also, with the other mental issues you have, it’s a great way of clearing out all manner of mental clutterIf you find you haven’t calmed down by the time you get done praying the rosary, you can just spin out into the Divine Mercy, etc. Sometimes it takes me as much as a half hour of contemplative prayer to get my mind cleared out and calm, but it’s time well invested.

Hope that helps.

Hope that helps.
 
Matthew 6:14 – If you forgive the faults of others, your
heavenly Father will forgive you yours.

Try this and see if it works
Hope you feel better soon!:love:
 
thank you all so much for your replies. your responses have warmed my heart, and helped me to see things a little different. gave me a new perspective. i am going to try some of the suggestions, and definately see how to go about talking to a priest-i never have before, can i just call? or walk in during a certian hour? like i have said, i am still very new to all of this…
 
I don’t say this to be harsh but… Are your sins too great for Jesus’ sacrifice to cover completely so you can gain forgiveness? Jesus went thru hell and then He died for you.
 
AspireHigher said:
I don’t say this to be harsh but… Are your sins too great for Jesus’ sacrifice to cover completely so you can gain forgiveness? Jesus went thru hell and then He died for you.
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no, i dont think my sins are far too great. my problem is, i knew i was sinning but did it anyways. i was well aware of what i was doing.
 
That’s one of the conditions of mortal sin, isn’t it? Every mortal sin everyone has ever committed was done intentionally and in full knowledge. It’s serious because we are rejecting God, slapping Him in the face.

A mortal sin must meet all of the following conditions:

  1. *]its subject must be ‘grave matter’;
    *]it must be committed with full knowledge, both of the sin and of the gravity of the offense;
    *]it must be committed with deliberate and complete consent.
    The remedy is sacramental confession.

    I’m not making light of your feelings. Our consciences are designed to convict us deeply and yours is working just fine. Be thankful because, after a time, the conscience will become seared and it won’t guide and protect you any more. It hurts a lot and that a good thing to get us back on track.

    I’m praying for you.
 
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