Need Some HELP On marriage and re-entering the religion

[LostandneedGod]

I really need some answers about my situation. I grew up very religious never missed a mass, prayed constantly, and put all my faith in God. I had an experience a while back that shook me to the core. I had to kill a young boy in Iraq. Long story short I was shot at by a man with his son nearby and when we killed the man his son grabbed his weapon and I had to shoot the son. I blame myself to this day for the death of two innocent people. I believe that they were being told to kill us or thier families would be killed. I went through a long peroid of blaming God and myself I went away from religion I now want to return to being Catholic and I have been going to church. My pregnate Fiance is not religious at all. I need to know what can i do to re-enter the religion and also get married as a Catholic. My fiance agreed to go to RCIA and raise our children as Catholic. I was wondering how to deal with all the problems the church will have with our co-habitation, and marriage preperation. I really just want to know what to do and what to expect.

Thanks for any help.

 

[1ke]

The first thing to do is to make an appointment to talk to a priest in your local community. The priest will help you with marriage preparation. Your fiance does not have to become a Catholic in order for you to be validly married in the Church.

The priest will guide you regarding cohabitation and also your path to returning to the Sacraments. He might also suggest a counseling resource to help you deal with your trauma over your time in Iraq.

Make the call. Talk to a priest.

 

[duskyjewel]

FIRST: have you had PTSD counseling? The military offers those services for a good reason… USE THEM. Do not torture yourself. You were defending your own life. Even if that man was being ordered to kill you, he had a choice. Obviously an extremely hard one, one I would never want to make… but he had a choice. And you don’t know, he might have just hated Americans and WANTED to kill you. He might have taught his son to think the same. You just don’t know… put that in God’s hands and let him deal with it. He knows your soul, and he knows theirs too. The boy, at least, was innocent and I am sure is looking down on you from Heaven.

Second: go to your local parish and make an appointment to see the pastor. Explain the situation to him. Explain your desire to get right with God and the Church. Trust me, he has heard it all and helps people like you every day. He WANTS to help you come back to your faith! He will explain everything you need to do.

Congratulations on your baby, and welcome home!

 

[stbruno]

First of all…God loves you…warts and all! War leaves many scars, but you were protecting your own life when you took another’s life. Talk to your parish priest to help you through the trauma of this event…It sounds like it is haunting you alot.
To re-enter the faith fully,…Go talk to your parish priest. I wish I could tell you that you could just go to confession and start receiving communion fully but since you are cohabitating…you need to make also make a real committment, to live like brother and sister before you can truly be able to make a good confession. To receive communion you need to be in a state of grace. This will be a great sacrifice, but the gifts you receive from God for doing this will greatly make a difference in your covenant relationship as man and wife as well. God guarantees that!

If neither your fiancee or you have any previous marriages ( where an investigation or an annulment is needed), and you make the above mentioned effort to live as brother and sister…you can also approach your parish priest about beginning the preparation to be married in the faith of which you professed, the Catholic church. Your bride to be does not have to be Catholic to be married in the church…but if she is willing to consider it, then by all means encourage her to enter the RCIA program…Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults, which usually will be beginning soon. So do that early.
If you wish to check out some more about being married in the church…I can offer two wonderful websites.familyministries-chgo.org/www.inthespiritofcana.org/default.htm
and from the bishops…foryourmarriage.org/

 

[bilop]

I really need some answers about my situation. I grew up very religious never missed a mass, prayed constantly, and put all my faith in God. I had an experience a while back that shook me to the core. I had to kill a young boy in Iraq. Long story short I was shot at by a man with his son nearby and when we killed the man his son grabbed his weapon and I had to shoot the son. I blame myself to this day for the death of two innocent people. I believe that they were being told to kill us or thier families would be killed. I went through a long peroid of blaming God and myself I went away from religion I now want to return to being Catholic and I have been going to church. My pregnate Fiance is not religious at all. I need to know what can i do to re-enter the religion and also get married as a Catholic. My fiance agreed to go to RCIA and raise our children as Catholic. I was wondering how to deal with all the problems the church will have with our co-habitation, and marriage preperation. I really just want to know what to do and what to expect.

Thanks for any help.

Welcome to the forum! Thank you very much for your service to our country!

I’m sorry to hear of your pain. From what you write it seems like you were totally justified in your actions. The Church recognizes just killing in war. What you did is most likely not even a sin. You can discuss it with a priest in confession if it would help you deal with it.

If neither you nor your fiance has ever been married, it should be easy for you to marry in the Church. Contact your local priest to arrange a discussion. There will be marriage prep, and you’ll have to go to confession, of course.

Make an appointment with your local priest ASAP, and he will guide you.

God Bless

 

[Red_Meg]

First of all, THANK YOU for your service to our country in the military. I’m terribly sorry that it has exacted such a personal cost for you.

You’ve received a lot of great advice already, and the two biggies are certainly to get to a priest to get his guidance on marriage prep, cohabitation, confession, etc, plus to avail yourself of the counseling for vets.

The only thing I’d like to add is this: do you ever pray the Rosary? Ever think about it? Because I’d have to think that after all you’ve been through, some one-on-one “mom” time with Mary might bring you a lot of comfort.

Best regards,

Margaret