J
JeraldW
Guest
Hey all
I have been going back and forth in trying to dicern what the Lord wants in my relationship with my beloved girlfriend.
We are both devout Catholics, we actually met this past January at a very orthodox Catholic young adult retreat, and we hit it off right away. I am almost 22 she is 20. I am her first boyfriend, she is my thrid girlfriend ( all of my previous relationships have been chaste and marriage minded with other devout Catholics) We had alot in common , of course our complete adherance to our Faith, and our personalities seemed to click well. We laughed at each others weird sarcastic humor, and can be just goofy.
After that retreat, she was heading back to school (4 year state university) and I was heading 800 miles away from home to work in another state as a big-rig truck driver ( a career i am jumpstarting and using to save money) so we decided to keep it as friends until God brought us together again if it was His will.
Months past, she calls me up, we start talking. She mentions something about a dance at her university, and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. I purchased the ticket, we went to Mass first, and then to the dance. Had a wonderfull time. We held hands for the first time, and we couldnt seperate them after that. Lol The following day I sadly headed off 800 miles away to begin my new career.
We had skype dates very often during the week during the summer, and i came back home mid summer to visit my family, and of course, her.
That night i came home we had a " talk", i asked her what the problem was, and she said she wasnt even sure if she was called to marriage, and didnt want to waste my time. Se said she was soooo confused about what she wanted in life in general. She actually told me she didnt even know what sex even was until she was 18. I told her what she meant to me, and told her how i saw many characteristics that i wanted in a spouse. she was in tears after i told her the qualities i truely saw in her. She then was slightly more comforted, and agreed to continue dating and with our planned weekend.
the next day I met her family, and shot it off right away with her many siblings and her mother and father liked me. I planned a day of just simple fishing and a she packed us a small picnic lunch. We didnt catch much fish at all, and I thought we were having a great time. Then at nighttime we chastely cuddled and talked and laughed as the moon came up. At the end of my visit, I was so sad to se her face grow smaller in the window as I drove off.
The months flew by, i settled into my new truck driving career. We very often after this visit, I looking very much forward to every time i would see her on there!
It was during this time, we had the first really heavy duty “where are we at” conversation. It somewhat blindsided me, as I thought it was fine.
She told me she is very hot and cold when it comes to " feelings" sometimes she thinks im the handsomest man in the world, sometimes not so much. I told her i just felt content with her, not infatuated in the least ( altough i did get a natuaral slight thrill to see her of course) i told her that a relationship isnt all about the super oooohy gooohy feelings, and in marriage you arnt going to be all lovey dovey after I or the children have had the flu all over the place. love is a decision, not a feeling. This comforted her and we continued on.
Right before she went back to school, we agreed to meet halfway, and my mother came along to accompany us. She had met my mother before, and they get along well. They split a hotel room and i slept in my truck. Had a wonderful weekend. We went to a antique tractor and engine show, and we even dressed up in antique themed clothes! I thought we had a wonderful time!
Now I am an affectionate man, even with my platonic friends. I do have a very (sometimes too much, thank God I am a man) healthy masculine sex drive that I keep in good control and constructively redirect it for my state in life. I love giving my girl chaste hugs and kisses on the cheek ( on the lips tends to arouse me very easily) and of course im alway reaching for her hand.
It was then that I realized that she never intiated affection, it was -always- me. This combined with her somewhat confusion to what she wants. She then revealed to me that she thought our little fishing trip in her opinion was kind of a romantic dud. I was like " what, you expect there to be romance in every single moment like a friggin disney movie?" I just like being with her! I thought she was enjoying just being with me also! But no, not so really for her.
She also says she dosnt even really miss me at all, even though I miss her. Her girlfriends ask her if she misses me, and she tells the no, not really.
She said it goes up and down, one moment she likes being with me, and the next she dosnt at all. She says she dosnt know what love is, since she figures im her first boyfriend at all, so she is not " experienced" at all.
She questions my ability to provide for a family ( my career has the capability of making 50-70000 a year), i am currently making 20+ an hour, and saving pretty much all of it. (i am -well- on my way to having a substantial down payment on a good house) I am NOT college educated, but I am VERY hard working and know being a blue collar peasant is what i am. I have alot of skills, I can make or fix pretty much anything.
She is now in school, and she changed majors, so now she will be in school for four more years. I fully support her in her schooling and what she wants to do with it. We restrict our conversations to Sunday evenings, so I could let her focus on school. This past Sunday i worked ( i had worked for 60 hrs that week so far) and i message her at 8pm when i saw she was online to see if she wanted to chat quick on facebook or whatnot.
r
I have been going back and forth in trying to dicern what the Lord wants in my relationship with my beloved girlfriend.
We are both devout Catholics, we actually met this past January at a very orthodox Catholic young adult retreat, and we hit it off right away. I am almost 22 she is 20. I am her first boyfriend, she is my thrid girlfriend ( all of my previous relationships have been chaste and marriage minded with other devout Catholics) We had alot in common , of course our complete adherance to our Faith, and our personalities seemed to click well. We laughed at each others weird sarcastic humor, and can be just goofy.
After that retreat, she was heading back to school (4 year state university) and I was heading 800 miles away from home to work in another state as a big-rig truck driver ( a career i am jumpstarting and using to save money) so we decided to keep it as friends until God brought us together again if it was His will.
Months past, she calls me up, we start talking. She mentions something about a dance at her university, and I asked her if she wanted to go with me. I purchased the ticket, we went to Mass first, and then to the dance. Had a wonderfull time. We held hands for the first time, and we couldnt seperate them after that. Lol The following day I sadly headed off 800 miles away to begin my new career.
We had skype dates very often during the week during the summer, and i came back home mid summer to visit my family, and of course, her.
That night i came home we had a " talk", i asked her what the problem was, and she said she wasnt even sure if she was called to marriage, and didnt want to waste my time. Se said she was soooo confused about what she wanted in life in general. She actually told me she didnt even know what sex even was until she was 18. I told her what she meant to me, and told her how i saw many characteristics that i wanted in a spouse. she was in tears after i told her the qualities i truely saw in her. She then was slightly more comforted, and agreed to continue dating and with our planned weekend.
the next day I met her family, and shot it off right away with her many siblings and her mother and father liked me. I planned a day of just simple fishing and a she packed us a small picnic lunch. We didnt catch much fish at all, and I thought we were having a great time. Then at nighttime we chastely cuddled and talked and laughed as the moon came up. At the end of my visit, I was so sad to se her face grow smaller in the window as I drove off.
The months flew by, i settled into my new truck driving career. We very often after this visit, I looking very much forward to every time i would see her on there!
It was during this time, we had the first really heavy duty “where are we at” conversation. It somewhat blindsided me, as I thought it was fine.
She told me she is very hot and cold when it comes to " feelings" sometimes she thinks im the handsomest man in the world, sometimes not so much. I told her i just felt content with her, not infatuated in the least ( altough i did get a natuaral slight thrill to see her of course) i told her that a relationship isnt all about the super oooohy gooohy feelings, and in marriage you arnt going to be all lovey dovey after I or the children have had the flu all over the place. love is a decision, not a feeling. This comforted her and we continued on.
Right before she went back to school, we agreed to meet halfway, and my mother came along to accompany us. She had met my mother before, and they get along well. They split a hotel room and i slept in my truck. Had a wonderful weekend. We went to a antique tractor and engine show, and we even dressed up in antique themed clothes! I thought we had a wonderful time!
Now I am an affectionate man, even with my platonic friends. I do have a very (sometimes too much, thank God I am a man) healthy masculine sex drive that I keep in good control and constructively redirect it for my state in life. I love giving my girl chaste hugs and kisses on the cheek ( on the lips tends to arouse me very easily) and of course im alway reaching for her hand.
It was then that I realized that she never intiated affection, it was -always- me. This combined with her somewhat confusion to what she wants. She then revealed to me that she thought our little fishing trip in her opinion was kind of a romantic dud. I was like " what, you expect there to be romance in every single moment like a friggin disney movie?" I just like being with her! I thought she was enjoying just being with me also! But no, not so really for her.
She also says she dosnt even really miss me at all, even though I miss her. Her girlfriends ask her if she misses me, and she tells the no, not really.
She said it goes up and down, one moment she likes being with me, and the next she dosnt at all. She says she dosnt know what love is, since she figures im her first boyfriend at all, so she is not " experienced" at all.
She questions my ability to provide for a family ( my career has the capability of making 50-70000 a year), i am currently making 20+ an hour, and saving pretty much all of it. (i am -well- on my way to having a substantial down payment on a good house) I am NOT college educated, but I am VERY hard working and know being a blue collar peasant is what i am. I have alot of skills, I can make or fix pretty much anything.
She is now in school, and she changed majors, so now she will be in school for four more years. I fully support her in her schooling and what she wants to do with it. We restrict our conversations to Sunday evenings, so I could let her focus on school. This past Sunday i worked ( i had worked for 60 hrs that week so far) and i message her at 8pm when i saw she was online to see if she wanted to chat quick on facebook or whatnot.
r
)
I think you sound like a good guy too!