Need some moral support

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Anglewannabe

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OK, I feel like a silly teenager posting this but nonetheless, I need a bit of moral support.

I went on an on-line dating site. (a secular one). I messaged with a guy and he seemed really friendly. He is Christian but not Catholic. Every thing was cordial and I sent him a message and did not hear back from him. I really though this guy had potential but I did not want to give him the old ‘Why didn’t you return my message’. So after 10 days of no communication, I sent him a message saying

‘Hi, haven’t heard from you in a while have you seen any hockey games lately’

I can tell he has been online and he has not returned the message

I know intellectually, he isn’t interested and I should move on. So, where I need moral support is

1-) In not taking it personally
2-) having the will power to not contact him again

Angie
 
Thank you Monicad. I need to remember God’s will is more important
 
Anglewannabe said:
Thank you Monicad. I need to remember God’s will is more important
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If your focus your mental, emotional, and spiritual energies are focused on deepening your relationship with God this Lenten season, your spiritual disciplines will refocus your mind so you won’t have to fight the urge to try to contact him again.

Realize that your desire to be in relationship is healthy, that God has a plan to fulfill it, and His plan will work best in your life when your relationship with Him is in good order. Your yearning (“urge”) to reach out and be connected is a reflection of your heart’s desire to be close to your creator.
 
Salutations,
SEEK YE FIRST, THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND EVERYTHING ELSE SHALL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.
YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE MOST H IGH GOD. YOU ARE LOVED AS HIS SPECIAL CREATION.
THE TWO GREAT COMMANDMENTS ARE TO LOVE GOD WITH YOUR WHOLE MIND, YOUR WHOLE HEART, AND YOUR WHOLE STRENGTH AND TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU ARE TO LOVE YOURSELF. Got that:TO LOVE YOURSELF. You are commanded to love yourself.
God has someone for you. I just read a short disertation on the power of the Rosary. Go to a Catholic dating site. You do not want to be unequally yoked.Say a rosary a day. First, the Joyous, Second, the Sorrowful and third, the Glorious. I think we have a fourth one now, the Illuminated or Luminaries. I had trouble saying a rosary because of focus. .
But after this article, at judgement, our sins are set on a scale. Sins weigh more than a mature spiritual life. But with a devotion to the rosary, Mary will come forward and place our Rosaries said on the scale and what good we did, weighed more than the sins.
Hail Mary full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed are you among women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death. In Jesus namr, Amen:)
 
Maybe he was being dishonest with you and wanted out, respect his wishes to ignore and move on. Your match is out there, just be patient.
 
Crusaderbear said:
Maybe he was being dishonest with you and wanted out, respect his wishes to ignore and move on. Your match is out there, just be patient.
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First are you a guy or a girl? That would help me understand where you are coming from.

Also, can you please explain what you mean by ‘he was being dishonest’. Do you mean he was never interested, only messaging me because he was bored?
 
Anglewannabe said:
First are you a guy or a girl? That would help me understand where you are coming from.

Also, can you please explain what you mean by ‘he was being dishonest’. Do you mean he was never interested, only messaging me because he was bored?
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I am male, 60 years old, married, never had kids. But teach high school and have listened yo many young ladies complaining about online boyfriends. There really are a lot of males out there who enjoy " the chase" online. Don’t overthink it, dishonest isn’t neccessarily deliberately hurtful, just let it go.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager posting this but nonetheless, I need a bit of moral support.

I went on an on-line dating site. (a secular one). I messaged with a guy and he seemed really friendly. He is Christian but not Catholic. Every thing was cordial and I sent him a message and did not hear back from him. I really though this guy had potential but I did not want to give him the old ‘Why didn’t you return my message’. So after 10 days of no communication, I sent him a message saying

‘Hi, haven’t heard from you in a while have you seen any hockey games lately’

I can tell he has been online and he has not returned the message

I know intellectually, he isn’t interested and I should move on. So, where I need moral support is

1-) In not taking it personally
2-) having the will power to not contact him again

Angie
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I have been off and on dating sites for almost 4 years. It is only normal to feel disappointed when you get your hopes up about someone who contacts you (or you contact them) and then they ignore you. I have developed tough skin about it because it has happened a lot to me over the last 4 years. If you wish to continue with online dating, you will also need to develop thick skin. On online dating sites people will jerk you around in just about every way possible and then ignore you without even thinking they have done a single thing wrong. And that includes other practicing Catholics.

Do not contact him again. It wont help anything. And I know that is hard. I have been there myself. God bless.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
I have been off and on dating sites for almost 4 years. It is only normal to feel disappointed when you get your hopes up about someone who contacts you (or you contact them) and then they ignore you. I have developed tough skin about it because it has happened a lot to me over the last 4 years. If you wish to continue with online dating, you will also need to develop thick skin. On online dating sites people will jerk you around in just about every way possible and then ignore you without even thinking they have done a single thing wrong. And that includes other practicing Catholics.

Do not contact him again. It wont help anything. And I know that is hard. I have been there myself. God bless.
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It is difficult for me to believe that God intended us to go through such things to be matched.
 
Anglewannabe said:
OK, I feel like a silly teenager posting this but nonetheless, I need a bit of moral support.

I went on an on-line dating site. (a secular one). I messaged with a guy and he seemed really friendly. He is Christian but not Catholic. Every thing was cordial and I sent him a message and did not hear back from him. I really though this guy had potential but I did not want to give him the old ‘Why didn’t you return my message’. So after 10 days of no communication, I sent him a message saying

‘Hi, haven’t heard from you in a while have you seen any hockey games lately’

I can tell he has been online and he has not returned the message

I know intellectually, he isn’t interested and I should move on. So, where I need moral support is

1-) In not taking it personally
2-) having the will power to not contact him again

Angie
Click to expand...
I don’t know how the whole on-line dating thing works. (My daughters keep threatening to set up a profile for me, but that’s a story for another time).

1). I’m assuming this communication is just all text via the internet, no face-to-face, or direct video/audio?

So, this guy read a few texts/messages/emails and isn’t interested in those printed words. He is not rejecting you-- he doesn’t know you at all. He had a few brief communications which didn’t pique his interest. The person he is not responding to isn’t you; it’s whatever conception of you he has and trigger (perhaps he’s looser morally than he believes you are? He’s less devout? Or religious compatibility is important to him and he rejects Catholicism? Prior experience where he inadvertently led someone on and had trouble disconnecting/ending communications with them) Bottom line, if he isn’t interested than at least he’s not wasting your time. He could have dragged things out when he’d already decided he wasn’t interested.

Generally-- be comfortable and confident in yourself. Know yourself and the reasons you make the choices in life that you do. If folks don’t like that, that’s their decision and a reflection on them-- not you. Do not change to please folks, or to conform with their ideas. Like yourself enough to be yourself and not care what others think.
  1. Think about what thing about him were appealing to you, and look for those things in someone else. Think how you wouldn’t want someone to continue to contact you if the situation were reversed. How would you view a guy who ‘didn’t get the hint’. There are a lot of men in the world, why fret over one who isn’t interested instead of spending your limited time on earth ensuring you’re free and available when you cross paths with someone you’re more compatible with? Also, be honest. How much do you like the actual him vice the him you’ve pictured based on limited interaction? You know he’s the kind of guy who doesn’t communicate clearly about his level of interest, be able to communicate a polite lack of interest in furthering talks.
 
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