Need some positive input (and to relieve stress)

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RAGGANDI

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My 29 year old daughter and her 33 year old boyfriend just dropped a bombshell on my wife and me. Their child will be born around Christmastime. We are stunned. Both my daughter and her boyfriend have stated that they didn’t think they would ever want kids. The good news is that both of them told us there was never any question that they would carry the child to term and love him or her with all of their hearts. I am afraid my reaction is less than what they expected, as was my wife’s. We were looking for a proposal, marriage, then kids. Actually, I was hoping my daughter would go to confession and then start going to Mass with me every week. Her boyfriend, who is from a catholic family (but dysfunctional) says he wants to get baptised in the Catholic Church, but I don’t want him to do it for the wrong reasons–I want him to enter the church because it is what is meant to be, not because he thinks it will make me happy. (DW is also fallen away, but is like many Catholics who goes at Christmas and maybe Easter). I have to say that as a man who tries to go to Mass every day, confession at least monthly, and says a rosary every day for his family, this is quite a blow. Anyone else have a similar situation? How did you handle it? I am going to offer an extra rosary every day for the health of my children and their gift from God, as well as their conversion. Please help me in these prayers.
Thank you all and God bless.
Steve
 
Well, I was that daughter and love and support is #1, so you’re on the right road. Another thing, just gently invite them to attend mass with you (and remind them not to be embarrased to sit in the pew and not recieve the Eucharist when it is that part of the mass until they attend confession). I would also give them the number to a good priest so that they may go and get spiritual guidance with their situation. It’s amazing how being pregnant out-of-wedlock really straightened me up in my spiritual direction. From when I learned I was pregnant I started attending mass weekly (something I hadn’t done prior to that) and now I’m decently involved at my parish and actually am seeking out a better knowledge of the Catholic faith. So, yes, there is hope. Just remember to make gentle suggestions and invitations. Heck maybe gently invite your daughter to join you in going to church for confession (reminder that you would love if she went to confession too, but that if she wants to just sit there and pray that you would just like her company).
 
When I read your post, the thought immediately came to mind that perhaps this miracle child was sent in answer to your prayers to bring your daughter and her boyfriend and maybe even your dw back to the church. Sometimes the answers to our prayers are not exactly what we expected, but they work out just the way we prayed they would. I will be praying for you and your family.
 
Having been in your boat, and paddling along these 10 years from the email I received informing me of my pending status as a grandmother when my daughter was not married (yes, that would be e-mail), I can only suggest you look at the bright side of this (there is a bright side):
  • These are not teen kiddos, but real adults, one of them over 30, the other not quite 30. It’s harder when they are 13, 14, 15, 18, 20 even.
  • They are taking the baby to term.
  • They love the baby.
    Oh, I’d let your erzatz son-in-law go to RCIA!!! It’s not up to you to decide whether he’s sincere, after all, but the priest. It’ll also give him a good Catholic education, hopefully. Encourage him to go and find out all about being Catholic, as his family is only culturally Catholic, or this guy would’ve been bapitzed and confirmed by now. Take him to Mass with you, if possible.
Don’t give up yet. As steamboat pointed out, this baby might be your miracle.
 
I would not discourage him from getting baptized. There is a process adults have to take and you never know what will move him. maybe something will spark in them to help bring them home. Keep haveing hope I have seen miricles happening so you keep praying that rosary and see what God does for you.
 
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