I have your back with daily prayer too. I have just made a really big decision myself and I know how difficult it can be. Nothing like a vocation to the priesthood however - and with opposition. God bless and keep you all the way to ordination. It must be dreadful to desire something so holy and blessed for your life - and to not have family understand. We desperately desperately, need holy priests, saints in Holy Orders - desperately! Trust Jesus confidently - not much old nick would not want to do to keep another potential priest from ordination. But that thing cannot move unless it asks The Lord for permission first.
Have you read the Book of Job?
drbo.org/chapter/20001.htm
May The Lord speedily remove your suffering. Our Lady of The Way and of the Streets, and St Joseph, patron of The Church, please powerfully pray before the Throne of Jesus for Espana156 and all his hopes and intentions. Amen.
Catholic Catechism:
311 Angels and men, as intelligent and free creatures, have to journey toward their ultimate destinies by their free choice and preferential love. They can therefore go astray. Indeed, they have sinned. Thus has
moral evil, incommensurably more harmful than physical evil, entered the world. God is in no way, directly or indirectly, the cause of moral evil.176 He permits it, however, because he respects the freedom of his creatures and, mysteriously, knows how to derive good from it:
For almighty God. . ., because he is supremely good, would never allow any evil
whatsoever to exist in his works if he were not so all-powerful and good as to cause good to emerge from evil itself.177
312 In time we can discover that God in his almighty providence can bring a good from the consequences of an evil, even a moral evil, caused by his creatures: “It was not you”, said Joseph to his brothers, "who sent me here, but God. . . You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive."178 From the greatest moral evil ever committed - the rejection and murder of God’s only Son, caused by the sins of all men - God, by his grace that “abounded all the more”,179 brought the greatest of goods: the glorification of Christ and our redemption. But for all that, evil never becomes a good.
313 "We know that in everything God works for good for those who love him."180 The constant witness of the saints confirms this truth:
St. Catherine of Siena said to “those who are scandalized and rebel against what happens to them”: "Everything comes from love, all is ordained for the salvation of man, God does nothing without this goal in mind."181
St. Thomas More, shortly before his martyrdom, consoled his daughter: "
Nothing can come but that that God wills. And I make me very sure that whatsoever that be, seem it never so bad in sight, it shall indeed be the best."
182 Dame Julian of Norwich: "Here I was taught by the grace of God that I should steadfastly keep me in the faith. . . and that at the same time I should take my stand on and earnestly believe in what our Lord shewed in this time - that*** ‘all manner [of] thing shall be well***.’"183
(All formatting in the quotes above from the CCC are mine)
