Need some words of encouragement--a fear I have had for a while

[whatevergirl]

I’d appreciate hearing some words of encouragement and/or stories of your own, whereby you have had similiar feelings about giving presentations amongst your peers.

Here’s the stupid thing–I have done this sooo many times, and have done pretty well at it…BUT…I have been asked to speak at a different event where there are some really ‘big wigs’ flying in for this thing, and basically, it’s to share some of my ‘success’ stories of 08. I’m part of a deparment that helps to sell the branding of our company. So, last year, was a good year for me, I have been with the company a while. I am honored (I think? lol) that I was asked…my husband tells me to not be nervous, I have done this before, yadda yadda…but, I don’t know why I’m nervous all over again to do this. I always feel like people are judging what I’m saying, etc. My dh tells me that ‘you are a messenger of information–remember Moses?’ He wasn’t comparing me to Moses, haha! But, he was implying that Moses wanted God to pick ‘another guy,’ and while he was very nervous of what people thought of him, (plus he stuttered I believe?) …he was not entirely willing to do what God asked. But, he did it, and well, the rest is history.

So…next week, I have to do the presentation. I was thinking of handouts, etc…I’m good when I have a power point presentation. I HATE standing in front of a crowd just chatting away…

So…can you talk me down off of this ledge? I am hopeful of hearing some stories of those on here who overcame this stupid fear of public speaking, once and for all. I have been praying about it, but I keep having these images in my mind of not doing well, or forgetting to include something, or someone in the audience who doesn’t like me rolling his/her eyes… People have told me that they have no idea I’m nervous when I do these things–but inside, I’m dying.:bighanky:

Please help…and if you could pray for me, too…that would be most appreciated. Thank you, everyone.

 

[gam3rchic]

No advice, just prayers! And remember, you are not alone! One of the most common fears in people is speaking in front of crowds.

(Though I do not share this as I like to be center of attention)

 

[whatevergirl]

No advice, just prayers! And remember, you are not alone! One of the most common fears in people is speaking in front of crowds.

(Though I do not share this as I like to be center of attention)

LOL–You sound like my dh. He loves to give presentations. The irony is…that I’m good in sales, which is what I do. But, when it comes to talking about me, accomplishments, etc…there is something inside of me that freezes. Selling my company to other companies is…easier. But, I am getting better at it. I also know that there are some that I work with, who don’t appreciate the work I’ve done for them, and they will be in the audience, so there is this feeling that I don’t ‘belong’ giving this speech. My husband tells me though that there will always be nay sayers in life…always be someone who dislikes you…but there are plenty who feel you have done a great job, and those are the ones who matter most. I guess I need to remember his words more. Thank you for your prayers.

 

[Eucharisted]

I’d appreciate hearing some words of encouragement and/or stories of your own, whereby you have had similiar feelings about giving presentations amongst your peers.

Here’s the stupid thing–I have done this sooo many times, and have done pretty well at it…BUT…I have been asked to speak at a different event where there are some really ‘big wigs’ flying in for this thing, and basically, it’s to share some of my ‘success’ stories of 08. I’m part of a deparment that helps to sell the branding of our company. So, last year, was a good year for me, I have been with the company a while. I am honored (I think? lol) that I was asked…my husband tells me to not be nervous, I have done this before, yadda yadda…but, I don’t know why I’m nervous all over again to do this. I always feel like people are judging what I’m saying, etc. My dh tells me that ‘you are a messenger of information–remember Moses?’ He wasn’t comparing me to Moses, haha! But, he was implying that Moses wanted God to pick ‘another guy,’ and while he was very nervous of what people thought of him, (plus he stuttered I believe?) …he was not entirely willing to do what God asked. But, he did it, and well, the rest is history.

So…next week, I have to do the presentation. I was thinking of handouts, etc…I’m good when I have a power point presentation. I HATE standing in front of a crowd just chatting away…

So…can you talk me down off of this ledge? I am hopeful of hearing some stories of those on here who overcame this stupid fear of public speaking, once and for all. I have been praying about it, but I keep having these images in my mind of not doing well, or forgetting to include something, or someone in the audience who doesn’t like me rolling his/her eyes… People have told me that they have no idea I’m nervous when I do these things–but inside, I’m dying.:bighanky:

Please help…and if you could pray for me, too…that would be most appreciated. Thank you, everyone.

Think of the way Jesus spoke to people. He used imagery to get ideas across and He spoke the way a Rabbi spoke. So, you just have to speak the way these ‘big wigs’ speak to get your message across. Do a little research on this, pray a lot, and trust completely in God.

 

[whatevergirl]

Think of the way Jesus spoke to people. He used imagery to get ideas across and He spoke the way a Rabbi spoke. So, you just have to speak the way these ‘big wigs’ speak to get your message across. Do a little research on this, pray a lot, and trust completely in God.

oh thank you for this. let me ask you–how do you propose I use imagery? like in modern times, might Jesus have considered using a power point presentation? lol

 

[Eucharisted]

oh thank you for this. let me ask you–how do you propose I use imagery? like in modern times, might Jesus have considered using a power point presentation? lol

By imagery I meant symbols and metaphors, like “the Kingdom of God is as a muster seed.” But images in Power Point would also work, if that’s what the big wigs like.

Speaking of Power Points: to do a presentationnot

 

[gam3rchic]

By imagery I meant symbols and metaphors, like “the Kingdom of God is as a muster seed.” But images in Power Point would also work, if that’s what the big wigs like.

Speaking of Power Points: How not to do a presentation

That youtube video is so true and hilarious!!! Thanks for posting it.

 

[yellowbird]

OMGosh you will be GREAT at this. I can totally picture you speaking to a crowd and doing a fabulous job because your posts are always very much to the point and said in a very nice way. OK, so speaking to a room full of people is alot harder than typing works on a laptop, but still - OBVIOUSLY the people who work with you, those who have seen you in action think you are a rock star or they wouldn’t have asked you, right? Right! So climb down off that ledge… you will totally wow them.

Besides - they aren’t judging what you are saying at all. As you are speaking, THIS is what’s going on in their brain:

• What a cute haircut she has… I wonder how mine would look like that? I really need to get mine cut… it’s been how long? Six weeks? Maybe eight? Yeah… eight… it was the same day I bought those strappy sandals. I should wear those to work more often… they are so cute although they kinda hurt my feel… I bet they would look great with that dress I bought at TJ Maxx on sale? I love that store… although Marshalls is good too, I haven’t been there in awhile… gosh I am hungry… I would kill for a bagel right now… *

THAT is what they are thinking about as you are speaking.

 

[Morwenna]

I don’t have any stories to share, since (thanks be to God!) I’m not called upon to do this in my job, but … here are a couple of thoughts:

First, I’m assuming that you know these people, if not personally, you at least know their names/faces/something about them. How about before the meeting (whether the night before or the hour before), praying specifically, individually for each of them? As I’m sure you know, praying for specific people can help you feel closer to them in a personal and spiritual sense … maybe even going so far as to be able to see them as friends rather than stern, starched big-wigs. Wouldn’t it be easier to give a speech to a group of friends?

I read once (CS Lewis, maybe?) that one of the best ways to overcome anger at a person is by imagining that person as an infant or small child … I’ve found this to be true, and I’m thinking it might also help with the “fear factor”, as well as the anger factor.

Just wanted to throw these out there, in case they might be of help to you in some way.

 

[BenM]

I’m similar to you when it comes to public speaking, and unfortunately ‘don’t be nervous’ is easier said than done.

The reason it seems so frightening is because of all those what if images that are taking over right now; if something is a new or different experience or you see it with added risk you have nothing to compare it to, so your mind is jumping to the very worst possible outcome to kind of prepare you for the worst (kind of like a defense mechanism).

The truth is though, the worst just isn’t going to happen. Looking back on all those times I’ve been nervous like that, I promise you, its NEVER as bad as you think its going to be and it always goes better than expected. If people have told you before they can’t even tell you’re nervous, doesn’t it make sense that its not as visible as it feels, because they didn’t have their judgement clouded by all those horrible emotions at the time?

The best thing you can do is to do anything that can prepare you for the experience and limit the unexpected as much as possible, and keep countering those images with logic and your memories of past experiences that went well.

I’ll be praying for you also!

 

[BenM]

OMGosh you will be GREAT at this. I can totally picture you speaking to a crowd and doing a fabulous job because your posts are always very much to the point and said in a very nice way. OK, so speaking to a room full of people is alot harder than typing works on a laptop, but still - OBVIOUSLY the people who work with you, those who have seen you in action think you are a rock star or they wouldn’t have asked you, right? Right! So climb down off that ledge… you will totally wow them.

Besides - they aren’t judging what you are saying at all. As you are speaking, THIS is what’s going on in their brain:

• What a cute haircut she has… I wonder how mine would look like that? I really need to get mine cut… it’s been how long? Six weeks? Maybe eight? Yeah… eight… it was the same day I bought those strappy sandals. I should wear those to work more often… they are so cute although they kinda hurt my feel… I bet they would look great with that dress I bought at TJ Maxx on sale? I love that store… although Marshalls is good too, I haven’t been there in awhile… gosh I am hungry… I would kill for a bagel right now… *

THAT is what they are thinking about as you are speaking.

Also this! It really does seem scarier in your own head than how it actually goes. If you were chosen to do this then obviously they already think highly of you, too. You’ll do great!

 

[monicatholic]

whatevergirl,

here’s my advice: plan it once, then leave it alone. you don’t have to give the presentation today, so don’t waste today worrying about it. STAY in TODAY.

i love speaking in front of crowds. i’m occasionally invited to give AA talks at big conferences-- like a hundred or two hundre people (I think the biggest crowd was about 300 people, but that’s unusually large.) anyway, here’s one of my favorite openning jokes. it’s an original, but you can use it if you like:

i’m so sorry to tell you-- i have bad news and worse news for you all. here’s the deal: i always give myself one-- JUST ONE run through when I’m gonna give an AA talk. I allowed myself the single run through of this talk today when I was making a long drive in the car. so what’s the bad news? my practice talk was 3 hours long. what’s the worse news? it really sucked.

everybody shrieks with laughter and i’m on my way.

good luck!

 

[SteveGC]

I agree with all the advice so far. Plus…

When the topic is you, talk about how you have succeeded through the assistance/example/guidance of people *other than *you. I presume your work success can be credited to some degree on the work of others. People respond well to humility. Plus it makes your speech revolve around others…and not so much spot-lighting yourself. This takes the edge off.

Take time to rehearse, of course

In addition to the advice given about envisioning the audience as infants (which is good), it’s good to remind yourself that if you’re not giving this speech, who will? I mean, *who else *is really qualified? Sounds to me like it’s pretty much just you, yeah? So feel confident that you’re the most appropriate one to be talking in the first place.

Base your speech on what you really want to accomplish (i.e. “at the end of this thing, I want the audience to walk away knowing…fill-in-the-blank”). Hopefully, it’s not a “look at me” speech. More of a “here’s some advice on how we all can succeed” speech. Then just make sure that you develop your words and ideas around that central goal.

A quick glass of wine beforehand might help, too.

Best of luck to you. God Bless

 

[Salonika]

whatevergirl:

I’d appreciate hearing some words of encouragement and/or stories of your own, whereby you have had similar feelings about giving presentations amongst your peers.

I have been asked to speak at a different event where there are some really ‘big wigs’ flying in for this thing, and basically, it’s to share some of my ‘success’ stories of 08. … I have been with the company a while. I am honored (I think? lol) that I was asked…my husband tells me to not be nervous

Think he’s being a bit unrealistic and also that some nervousness is probably an advantage as it stops us being complacent about our presentation. It’s being excessively nervous that’s the problem. But then so can be being too confident.

And yes, you should be honoured at being asked – you wouldn’t be asked unless you met two criteria – being a success in your job and able to clearly tell why.

I always feel like people are judging what I’m saying

Now I identify with that. But we don’t know what others are thinking and how a person takes our presentations is as much about them as about the presenter. Get a person on a bad day when everything has gone wrong and they mightn’t even hear your presentation.

I was thinking of handouts, etc… I’m good when I have a power point presentation. I HATE standing in front of a crowd just chatting away

Then use a power point presentation - a bonus is that it helps you keep on track. But think whether it would be better to give the handout out before your presentation or at the end as a reminder of what you said. If you do the former you could end up with no eye contact from your audience.

People have told me that they have no idea I’m nervous when I do these things–but inside, I’m dying

I’ve had this experience and the only thing that convinced me I hadn’t been shaking etc was seeing the video (how terrifying that idea was) but there I was not showing any nerves. I was sure I was.

Something else I’ve found helpful is to realise that when we give presentations we are often giving people an introduction to a topic and they can go away and find more about it. We don’t have to tell them everything, what we need to do is to make them want them to find out more.

Something else I’ve found useful is to say to myself what’s my reaction if someone makes a mistake in a presentation or gets something mixed up. And I think I’d feel sorry for them, maybe I’d hardly notice it or I’d say no-one’s perfect.

Please help…and if you could pray for me, too…that would be most appreciated. Thank you, everyone.

Sure thing. And let us know the highlights.

 

[Magicsilence]

Hey WG, I had to deal with this at university.

Basically, what helped me was re-hearsing while pretending I was in front of a crowd (and really visualizing that they are there).

The reason being that, no matter how well you know your slides, it’s social anxiety that gives you problems on the day, cause you see all these faces looking at you, and you’re thinking ‘If I screw up, what will they think’ and then you forget what you were supposed to say.

After that, it’s like a vicious circle, you forget what you should say - that makes you nervous - which makes you forget the NEXT thing you were supposed to say - which makes you more nervous and so on.

On my last ever uni presentation, I stood up to introduce and my mind went BLANK!!. And I was thinking, come on, come on, remember REMEMBER, and it just didn’t come. So my co-presenter helped me out, and BAM the pressure was off me, everything came flooding back. Then it came to my part of the presentation, and again ALMOST BLANK, and I was thinking ‘what’s the deal? I’ve been fine with presentations the whole time at uni’, so instead of trying to engage people, I just refocused my mind on the subject, ignored the people there, and started flowing. Then after 20 seconds or so I found that I was engaging everyone without realising!

Maybe it would help if you had something to divert attention to? Like a video? Then, if you get stuck, you can say ‘ok, we’re going to watch this short video’, and re-group.

I think really once you master the art of presenting, it just sticks permanently, since it is basically being able to deal with a thousand faces looking at you, and not caring what they think. I think

Good luck WG!

 

[OutinChgoburbs]

I am the wrong person to tell you my experiences. I was a very shy kid, and grew into a confiedent, but quiet young woman. Then I taught a class in the Navy. I did such a good job they sent me to instructors’ school. I will get up in front of a crowd of people, be it 10 people or 10,000, and open my mouth.

I do best though when I am prepared. So, just like a good girl scout- BE PREPARED. Make a checklist, play with the equipment, do a dry run. And you should be fine.

 

[pumpkinbeast]

Practice, practice, practice. And do lots of public speaking. Those are the only ways I know of to stop fearing it, and it’s pretty much worked for me. I was in 4-H as a teenager, and we were required to give a speech on a topic every year, so I got lots of practice. One thing that helps me is to channel my nervous energy into projecting my voice, or something like that. When you get nervous, it’s that fight-or-flight response, which gives you a burst of energy so you can either fight a foe, or run away. So, direct that energy to whatever you want use it for.

 

[kage_ar]

Very very few have DIED from speaking at a corp event

I could tell you about doing a presentation for the biggest wigs at the Fortune 500 company where I worked, only to be RIFd 4 weeks later. Guess what, I survived.

They are people, they cannot take away your Jesus. The rest is stuff.

 

[whatevergirl]

Very very few have DIED from speaking at a corp event

I could tell you about doing a presentation for the biggest wigs at the Fortune 500 company where I worked, only to be RIFd 4 weeks later. Guess what, I survived.

They are people, they cannot take away your Jesus. The rest is stuff.

thank you for all of your replies everyone! I’m going to print these out, and take your advice.

kage–this really got to me. it brought tears to my eyes. you are right. no one can take away my peace or faith in Christ. I am sad that for these brief moments in thinking about doing a speech, that I allowed myself to forget that.

 

[monicatholic]

They are people, they cannot take away your Jesus.

preach it, sister. this is the BEST thing I heard all day!!!