need spiritual help

[Monica4316]

Hehe, well, as long as necessary is good. As long as God gives me the strength and I know He will if I don’t screw it up.

I am glad I took the advice of others here and went back to St. John of the Cross. I love the way he writes about God and the soul, and especially his interpretations of Scripture.

which book of his are you reading? My university library has books by St John of the Cross and I’ve been thinking of getting one…

By the way, Monica, near the end of the part about the night of sense, he says that for some people, this night is accompanied with temptations to blasphemy and also scruples. I don’t know if it’s the same as what you are going through, but I thought of you when I read it. Perhaps it is at least related; he definitely says it is a temptation which God allows to happen to some people in order to strengthen their souls and bring them close to Him.

thanks for sharing this
I feel like the trial made me weaker but also stronger, it’s hard to describe, but I know God knows the truth better and understands my soul more than I do.

I have another question … sorry. St John of the Cross says that those who are in the night of sense should stop trying to practice mental prayer because they can’t, and their prayer should consist of just resting with God even though it seems like they aren’t doing anything, because that is what the soul wants to do. So my question is, how do I know whether I should follow this or whether I should keep trying to pray mentally?

what happens when you try to pray mentally?

prayer is prayer… if you’re just resting with God, that’s prayer too. It can also be a good opportunity to listen to Him (so you don’t get carried away by your thoughts/anxieties during this time and lose focus and get worried - like what happened to me, lol).

maybe you think about what type of prayer works best for you at this time?

I posted some time ago about the fact that I seemed unable any longer to practice vocal/mental prayer at Adoration - and lately this inability has extended itself to the rest of my prayer life, too. Praying the rosary used to be very meditative and I learned so much from it, now I feel like I am just reciting the words with my mouth and I can’t think about the mysteries at all or even about the words I’m saying. After I read that in St. John of the Cross, I decided to try what he says, so after reading the LOTH I just sat there, and then kneeled for a while in silence. Nothing happened except that I felt peace. But then I wondered if it was wrong to do it because I don’t know if I’m at that stage or not. Could it do harm? Any help would be good … has this happened to you?

I don’t think it’s wrong if you’re not seeking spiritual experiences. For example, if you need some peace and to just “be” with God for a while, that’s not something we have to be ‘ready’ for, that’s not for any particular stage. Just be careful and don’t seek anything ‘extraordinary’, except God’s peace and strength. I think it’s alright to just kneel before God in silence and say nothing. There are times when we have no more words left. But I also think it’s important to keep on praying the Rosary, even if that’s the only mental prayer you’ll be doing. The Rosary is very powerful, even if you don’t feel anything… don’t judge a prayer by what you feel… but if you are struggling, yes just being with God in silence is alright

sorry if my post is confusing… I tend to ramble

Thank you for sharing … I didn’t think something like this would happen to me so soon.

God knows the timing

I think you’re right, I really need a spiritual director … how do I go about finding a good one?

my spiritual director is the vocations director for the diocese (since I’m also trying to figure out my vocation). Maybe it would help to ask your priest if he has any suggestions?

I think it’s a great idea to have a spiritual director who’s also a priest, so he can hear your confessions and give blessings and such… I don’t know why but God really works through this

if you want to finish RCIA before getting a spiritual director, maybe you could also find a good priest to talk to for now… but it might not matter, you might still find one. Ask God to help you with this and lead you

God bless

 

[Tybourne]

I really need a spiritual director … how do I go about finding a good one?

Hi again

1. Pray
2. Go on an individually guided retreat- ask at your parish or University chaplaincy for local centres
3. Ask your director for suggestions.
4. Test three, using St Francis de Sales’ criteria that I posted earlier
5. Pray some more
6. Choose one that you believe God is leading you to
7. Trial period
8. Entrust yourself utterly to his or her advice

God bless you, it is worth it…

 

[Student09]

which book of his are you reading? My university library has books by St John of the Cross and I’ve been thinking of getting one…

Dark Night of the Soul. I’ve read bits of others of his books, like Ascent of Mt. Carmel.

I feel like the trial made me weaker but also stronger, it’s hard to describe, but I know God knows the truth better and understands my soul more than I do.

I know the feeling. Well, God’s strength is manifest in weakness, right?

what happens when you try to pray mentally?

Nothing happens, except that I feel that I am laboriously forcing my mind to form thoughts that don’t mean anything and it’s tiring. I’m not sure really how to explain it. I’ve continued praying the rosary, but it tires me. Mostly I end up not really thinking about anything in spite of my efforts and just saying the words. Sometimes even saying the words just seems exhausting and it helps to pray very slowly. Last night I was praying the rosary and this happened, so finally I just stopped in the middle and rested (though I did finish it eventually!).

I guess I will probably wait until Easter to look for a director, but I do feel that I need to because I am afraid of doing the wrong thing if I rely on myself. Tybourne, what is an individually guided retreat?

 

[aspirant]

Nothing happens, except that I feel that I am laboriously forcing my mind to form thoughts that don’t mean anything and it’s tiring.

My inclination is to say “stop trying.” Just spend your prayer time standing in your heart before God.

I guess I will probably wait until Easter

No need to wait if you’re able to start sooner.

 

[Tybourne]

Tybourne, what is an individually guided retreat?

Hi, Here’s some info on IGRs: beunos.com/whatisigr.htm

God bless.

 

[Student09]

Hrmph. I live in a place where “New Age” is very popular and all the so-called “Catholic” retreat centers around here offer yoga, enneagram study, classes on Buddhism, centering prayer etc etc. I’ve been looking at their websites … the only one that actually appears to be orthodox says that they do not offer private direction on retreats. I think I would have to go to a different state to find something decent. It’s really maddening. Especially since most of these centers are run by religious.

How else could I find a director? Most of the priests around here do not strike me as particularly prayerful or devoted men, unfortunately, even the rare ones that are so orthodox they actually talk about Jesus in their homilies. (Yes I am slightly bitter. )

 

[Student09]

Oh great, I just found a retreat center in another state, that had its pastor’s latest homily posted (this is a Benedictine brother, by the way). He used Harvey Milk and Obama as prime examples of great men who change things for the better. But don’t worry, Jesus got a mention too … apparently he unleashes divine energy in nature or something.

Why is Jesus so little known and loved, even by those who have supposedly left the world for him???

 

[aspirant]

Why is Jesus so little known and loved, even by those who have supposedly left the world for him???

This is nothing new. Judas supposedly left the world for Jesus, and he couldn’t even stick to it for three years. God have mercy on us.

 

[Student09]

This is nothing new. Judas supposedly left the world for Jesus, and he couldn’t even stick to it for three years. God have mercy on us.

I know … it just makes me so sad. And sometimes angry. Sorry about that.

And I know that there are many faithful religious who love God much more than I do and have really given up everything for him.

 

[Monica4316]

I know … it just makes me so sad. And sometimes angry. Sorry about that.

And I know that there are many faithful religious who love God much more than I do and have really given up everything for him.

there are! But I know how you feel

by the way… I took out “the Dark Night of the Soul” from the library, and it’s amazing