I need support from fellow catholics right now. I feel angry at God over my wife’s sudden actions. She is packing to leave and although the truth is out now (that it was never about me or any faults but over her not wanting kids ever and taking birth control plus repeated infidelities on her part) I can’t help but be angry and confused. I did so many things right. This is a sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church, how does that mean nothing?
I came very close to suicide two days ago. I had to start seeing a therapist. I am so very lost.
Good on you for seeing a therapist! Some folks are hesitant to seek help, as others have said reach out.
Good advice from others, God didn’t let you down, your spouse did. If you lived up to your own values, did everything you could based on what you knew at the time, be comforted that you’ll be able to look in the mirror in your old age and respect the person you see there.
Tough situation, I’ve been through a divorce when I was the one who wanted to stay together, work things out. One person can’t make a marriage no matter how badly you want to.
It is too easy to focus on and be consumed by the negative. Not everything in your life is awful. Truly, try to enjoy every little thing you can- health, being able to see, breathe, walk, reliable car (if you have one), friends, the taste of a crisp apple. Every little thing you can. Seek out and focus on the things you haven’t lost-- your values, your faith, your God (no matter how angry you are- He understands). Pray often to the Holy Spirit and you will not just adapt, but become more than you are today.
Continue to respect yourself and act in accordance with who you are, do not let anger or disappointment in the actions of others change how you define yourself. If you are not a bitter, angry person-- do not become one. It is a hard time, the transition from identifying yourself as a husband, as a portion of a team to again becoming an individual. Meditate on who you are, be that person, adhere to your values. Divorce attorneys will tell you how petty and vindictive people can be at this difficult time. It can bring out the worst in people, they do things they regret. Try to avoid that, act in your own best interest in the long term.
Take care of yourself-- eat well, work out, go out with friends- don’t become isolated. If you’re feeling dead and numb- find something that makes you feel alive. If there’s something you’ve wanted to try-- volunteering, SCUBA, skydiving, motorcycling, dancing, woodworking, cooking-- whatever-- now is a good time to take a class. Give yourself something else to focus on, make you feel alive, bring you into contact with others.
God bless always, you will be in my prayers.
