Need talking points on adultery

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A bisexual woman has assured me that since she and her husband wrote their own vows for their marriage, that her “purely sexual” relationship with another woman is “not a problem” and that since her husband knows and consents to this activity, she is not violating anything in their marriage. She has asked me what right I have to dictate to others what can and cannot happen in their own marriage.

I know this is wrong but am having trouble responding. Help?
 
From a Catholic woman with bisexual tendencies:

This is WRONG! I don’t care if everyone consents, here are a few things:
  1. Is she Catholic? If she is, it’s a mortal sin.
  2. She’s using another woman with no other commitment but sex. She’s using her for bodily pleasure. That’s wrong, whether your partner is the same or opposite sex.
  3. Sex was created for procreation and UNITY! Only for marriage! When you marry, you promise fidelity in all aspects, including your body. Also, where do you draw the line?
  4. If you’re going to have an “open” marriage, why get married?
It’s not just a morality perspective, it’s a practical one. If you aren’t going to be faithful to your spouse, why get married? Also, it’s neglecting the dignity of her female partner to just use her for her body.
 
Makerteacher said:
A bisexual woman has assured me that since she and her husband wrote their own vows for their marriage, that her “purely sexual” relationship with another woman is “not a problem” and that since her husband knows and consents to this activity, she is not violating anything in their marriage. She has asked me what right I have to dictate to others what can and cannot happen in their own marriage.

I know this is wrong but am having trouble responding. Help?
Click to expand...
I know how that might be a problem since one of my friend’s had a bisexual experience with her bff and her bff’s hubby!!! :eek: It helped destroy their marriage, since even though he didn’t get involved in the first couple of times since it had become an almost every weekend thing for drunk bffs to participate in “playing with each other” in order to fulfill his fantasy of watching his wife with another woman, eventually he got involved… AND then the problems started…

She would ask her if he “did her good” and if “she liked the way her husband did her” She told me she didn’t know how to answer her so she would lie to her and tell her that she was too drunk to remember… AND this went on for several years… Her husband would call my friend and would be like “She doesn’t leave me alone she thinks I enjoy you more than her…” And when asked if he did, he would lie to both of them and say no to one and yes to the other…

These women are CATHOLIC… when I asked her when was the last time she participated she told me was when her bff got up from the bed when her husband was with her and started taking pics of him and her in bed… She pushed him off and asked her what she was doing, then she told her “I lied about being drunk I wanted to see if you did too and if you were enjoying my husband the way I do and if were enjoying my bff even though you tell me you don’t!!!” She told me she just got her things and stumbled out of their house while getting dressed trying to make it to her car… They didn’t talk for about 3 months, and then they started talking again after her bff decided to have an affair with her brother’s bff to get back at her husband and my friend since my friend was in love with that man and was starting to see him…

Besides the fact that it’s an affair, no matter whom is involved, and even if her hubby agrees to it, it’s still wrong and sinful…

I definitely agree with SanctaMaria…
 
iluvmybabies said:
I know how that might be a problem since one of my friend’s had a bisexual experience with her bff and her bff’s hubby!!! :eek: It helped destroy their marriage, since even though he didn’t get involved in the first couple of times since it had become an almost every weekend thing for drunk bffs to participate in “playing with each other” in order to fulfill his fantasy of watching his wife with another woman, eventually he got involved… AND then the problems started…

She would ask her if he “did her good” and if “she liked the way her husband did her” She told me she didn’t know how to answer her so she would lie to her and tell her that she was too drunk to remember… AND this went on for several years… Her husband would call my friend and would be like “She doesn’t leave me alone she thinks I enjoy you more than her…” And when asked if he did, he would lie to both of them and say no to one and yes to the other…

These women are CATHOLIC… when I asked her when was the last time she participated she told me was when her bff got up from the bed when her husband was with her and started taking pics of him and her in bed… She pushed him off and asked her what she was doing, then she told her “I lied about being drunk I wanted to see if you did too and if you were enjoying my husband the way I do and if were enjoying my bff even though you tell me you don’t!!!” She told me she just got her things and stumbled out of their house while getting dressed trying to make it to her car… They didn’t talk for about 3 months, and then they started talking again after her bff decided to have an affair with her brother’s bff to get back at her husband and my friend since my friend was in love with that man and was starting to see him…

Besides the fact that it’s an affair, no matter whom is involved, and even if her hubby agrees to it, it’s still wrong and sinful…

I definitely agree with SanctaMaria…
Click to expand...
TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
 
To be honest, I don’t think it is too much information. Is this post uncomfortable? Yes! But you know what? We can’t and shouldn’t hide from evil unless it causes temptations in our own life. As Catholics, we need to become MORE familiar with stories like this. Like mold, evil thrives in darkness. Shine light on this situation and it becomes painfully clear on why any extramarital activity is wrong.

IMO, this post very clearly illustrates the devil’s method of how he (the devil) weaves his way into a holy marriage and ruins souls. In our modern era, we forget that the devil HATES us. I repeat, he HATES us and wants to RUIN everything good in our life. But we forget that and try to make evil less evil by censoring it or dithering it. Many people are deceived by him because they just thing that they can dip their toe in the pool of evil and still remain in control. But it is not a pool. It is a Tsunami of evil as illustrated by this post. By the end of this post, jealousy and immorality are out of control. It started with just a little drunk fun that “wasn’t a problem.” What a shiny, juicy red apple that was.

Living for Christ is a spiritual battle. Like a battle, this was just another brutal “SITREP” (situation report) from the front lines. Don’t censor or shy away from these ugly reports. I believe the more we see, the less attractive sin actually remains.
 
iluvmybabies said:
I know how that might be a problem since one of my friend’s had a bisexual experience with her bff and her bff’s hubby!!! :eek: It helped destroy their marriage, since even though he didn’t get involved in the first couple of times since it had become an almost every weekend thing for drunk bffs to participate in “playing with each other” in order to fulfill his fantasy of watching his wife with another woman, eventually he got involved… AND then the problems started…

She would ask her questions…She told me she didn’t know how to answer her so she would lie to her and tell her that she was too drunk to remember… AND this went on for several years… Her husband would call my friend and would be like “She doesn’t leave me alone …” And when asked if he enjoyed one or the other more, he would lie to both of them and say no to one and yes to the other…

These women are CATHOLIC… when I asked her when was the last time she participated she told me was when her bff got up from the bed when her husband was with her and started taking pics of him and her in bed… She told me she just got her things and stumbled out of their house while getting dressed trying to make it to her car… They didn’t talk for about 3 months, and then they started talking again after her bff decided to have an affair with her brother’s bff to get back at her husband and my friend since my friend was in love with that man and was starting to see him…

Besides the fact that it’s an affair, no matter whom is involved, and even if her hubby agrees to it, it’s still wrong and sinful…

I definitely agree with SanctaMaria…
Click to expand...
I edited it because I didn’t mean to post something too graphical sorry… No disrespect to anyone…
 
gambino said:
To be honest, I don’t think it is too much information. Is this post uncomfortable? Yes! But you know what? We can’t and shouldn’t hide from evil unless it causes temptations in our own life. As Catholics, we need to become MORE familiar with stories like this. Like mold, evil thrives in darkness. Shine light on this situation and it becomes painfully clear on why any extramarital activity is wrong.

IMO, this post very clearly illustrates the devil’s method of how he (the devil) weaves his way into a holy marriage and ruins souls. In our modern era, we forget that the devil HATES us. I repeat, he HATES us and wants to RUIN everything good in our life. But we forget that and try to make evil less evil by censoring it or dithering it. Many people are deceived by him because they just thing that they can dip their toe in the pool of evil and still remain in control. But it is not a pool. It is a Tsunami of evil as illustrated by this post. By the end of this post, jealousy and immorality are out of control. It started with just a little drunk fun that “wasn’t a problem.” What a shiny, juicy red apple that was.

Living for Christ is a spiritual battle. Like a battle, this was just another brutal “SITREP” (situation report) from the front lines. Don’t censor or shy away from these ugly reports. I believe the more we see, the less attractive sin actually remains.
Click to expand...
yes actually you are right… her husband’s fantasy was to see his wife with another woman…and my friend told me it started like that, a little drunk kiss and that was it…things continued since they are bffs grew up together since they were kids well that’s how it went…sorry for disturbing anyone…
 
No offense taken…Please see my earlier post. Sometimes the truth is ugly. It’s not like children read these forums. Nothing you wrote in that forum is anything more graphic than what is on Primetime TV. Don’t hide the truth, even if it is ugly. Sanitizing this post (and others) is just another way that people fail to see the truth behind evil that pervades our society.
 
gambino said:
No offense taken…Please see my earlier post. Sometimes the truth is ugly. It’s not like children read these forums. Nothing you wrote in that forum is anything more graphic than what is on Primetime TV. Don’t hide the truth, even if it is ugly. Sanitizing this post (and others) is just another way that people fail to see the truth behind evil that pervades our society.
Click to expand...
Thanks for your support…Still I didn’t think it would offend anyone nor bother anyone… I need to think before I write from now on… I guess what some people have been telling me about how I am in this forum about me being rude or not a good person even might be right if you think about it I guess sometimes the truth is bad and I should learn to be more polite instead of “cold hard honest” all the time… I need to learn to be more, uhm, discrete and not be all defensive or all honest since it seems it bothers a lot more people than I realized…

And I am not apologizing because I am an innocent victim I just didn’t mean to offend anyone… Sorry again… This is an interesting subject though…And I agree with SanctaMaria about how to go about such issue… And I agree with you about how the truth is ugly but maybe next time I will try to refrase before posting… Don’t want to continue disturbing people… SORRY once more…
 
Adultery is wrong !!
Where is the loyalty and the promise
you have made to your husband or wife ??
That makes your marriage a lie & a joke !!

When someone know he/she is bisexual ,
why would you marry someone when knowing
you couldn’t resist “needs” with someone else ??
Even when you’re homo- or heterosexual !!
why would you marry someone when knowing
you couldn’t resist “needs” with someone else ??

People will get hurt , and for what reason ??

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), december 29, 2008
 
iluvmybabies said:
I know how that might be a problem since one of my friend’s had a bisexual experience with her bff and her bff’s hubby!!! :eek: It helped destroy their marriage, since even though he didn’t get involved in the first couple of times since it had become an almost every weekend thing for drunk bffs to participate in “playing with each other” in order to fulfill his fantasy of watching his wife with another woman, eventually he got involved… AND then the problems started…

She would ask her if he “did her good” and if “she liked the way her husband did her” She told me she didn’t know how to answer her so she would lie to her and tell her that she was too drunk to remember… AND this went on for several years… Her husband would call my friend and would be like “She doesn’t leave me alone she thinks I enjoy you more than her…” And when asked if he did, he would lie to both of them and say no to one and yes to the other…

These women are CATHOLIC… when I asked her when was the last time she participated she told me was when her bff got up from the bed when her husband was with her and started taking pics of him and her in bed… She pushed him off and asked her what she was doing, then she told her “I lied about being drunk I wanted to see if you did too and if you were enjoying my husband the way I do and if were enjoying my bff even though you tell me you don’t!!!” She told me she just got her things and stumbled out of their house while getting dressed trying to make it to her car… They didn’t talk for about 3 months, and then they started talking again after her bff decided to have an affair with her brother’s bff to get back at her husband and my friend since my friend was in love with that man and was starting to see him…

Besides the fact that it’s an affair, no matter whom is involved, and even if her hubby agrees to it, it’s still wrong and sinful…

I definitely agree with SanctaMaria…
Click to expand...
Wow!:eek:
 
Laurent_LUG said:
Adultery is wrong !!
Where is the loyalty and the promise
you have made to your husband or wife ??
That makes your marriage a lie & a joke !!

When someone know he/she is bisexual ,
why would you marry someone when knowing
you couldn’t resist “needs” with someone else ??
Even when you’re homo- or heterosexual !!
why would you marry someone when knowing
you couldn’t resist “needs” with someone else ??

People will get hurt , and for what reason ??

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), december 29, 2008
Click to expand...
Hold the phone. Are you saying that those of us who identify as queer can’t be chaste? Because that’s not true. Should I marry a man one day, yes, he’ll know about my tendencies, but we would pray together A LOT and I would commit myself wholeheartedly to him forsaking all others.

Seriously, we all need to get past the “needs” thing, whether straight, gay, bisexual, whatever. The “needs” thing is what causes adultery to take place in the first place.
 
Makerteacher said:
A bisexual woman has assured me that since she and her husband wrote their own vows for their marriage, that her “purely sexual” relationship with another woman is “not a problem” and that since her husband knows and consents to this activity, she is not violating anything in their marriage. She has asked me what right I have to dictate to others what can and cannot happen in their own marriage.

I know this is wrong but am having trouble responding. Help?
Click to expand...
Adultery is adultery no matter who sleeps with who.

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood
 
Makerteacher said:
A bisexual woman has assured me that since she and her husband wrote their own vows for their marriage, that her “purely sexual” relationship with another woman is “not a problem” and that since her husband knows and consents to this activity, she is not violating anything in their marriage. She has asked me what right I have to dictate to others what can and cannot happen in their own marriage.

I know this is wrong but am having trouble responding. Help?
Click to expand...
I agree with maria…and others. It’s wrong on many levels, regardless of the consenting husband. God didn’t create us to be confused in the bedroom. He didn’t create us to be attracted to the same and opposite sex, so most likely, she is grappling with some deeper issues leading her into the arms of another woman. Just my guess.

My one question…why is she telling YOU this? Why is she telling people that she is wishing to sleep with others, while married?

Talk about tmi? 😊
 
sanctamaria17 said:
Hold the phone. Are you saying that those of us who identify as queer can’t be chaste? Because that’s not true. Should I marry a man one day, yes, he’ll know about my tendencies, but we would pray together A LOT and I would commit myself wholeheartedly to him forsaking all others.

Seriously, we all need to get past the “needs” thing, whether straight, gay, bisexual, whatever. The “needs” thing is what causes adultery to take place in the first place.
Click to expand...
Look , my opinion would not be follow the catholic way !!
So , what I gonna say is this:
Married or not , believe a couple
can be loyal & faithful to eachother !!

I also believe , if you are bisexual , quite sure
it will not change , but that doesn’t mean
the person will not be faithful to his or her partner !!

Salute & Cheers from a NON BELIEVER:
– Laurent LUG (.@…), december 29, 2008
 
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