Need tips for a debate with wife

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Ilkka

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As the title says I’m getting prepared to debate my wife concerning the existence of God. She is right now honestly agnostic (to my understanding) and we have agreed to present to each other the best arguments we have concerning our personal standings.

As for me, I am a Christian. And by that I mean that I subject myself to the teaching authority of the Holy Catholic Church of which the Pope is the single unifying earthly representative. Used to be a prottie but learned history and overcame my personal objections (by the grace of God). To me, the Catholic position simply explains everything in the most believable and logical manner. It is very catholic in that it takes into account every single aspect of life in general and doesn’t ignore some aspect of reality to make itself seem true.

So my question is, what are some of the best Catholic resources that I could use in persuading my wife to see the clarity of truth in Catholicism? I would prefer these sources to be officially recognized as being without error by the Church.

Any other tips are also welcome! Oh, and please pray for us.

Thank you!
 
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I have pretty much arrived at my conclusions through reasoning. Of course there have been tons and tons of resources affecting my perception of reality but I can’t trace my ways to back to all of them. I’m also very bad at maintaining a constance in a verbal debate and get easily sidetracked to arguments that are in error. I need to take time to form good arguments and sometimes it has taken me days to come up with reasonable arguments against some ideas that my wife has proposed. It would be much less stressful to have someone else come up with constant, intellectually infallible arguments for the existence of God so I don’t have to find myself in these logical errors which make it seem like my basis for faith is poor.
 
I don’t know if she enjoys them per se but she still engages in them due to her eagerness to find truth and convince herself of it. I think she sees debating as a necessary evil along the way to knowing truth and I agree. It would be so easy if I could telepathically communicate my reasoning to her. Lol.

But yeah, she doesn’t get offended and throw a tantrum if her beliefs are questioned. My wife is a very reasonable woman and she has a very good and humble heart. I really respect her a lot. 🙂
 
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I can’t say much more than be careful and make sure it doesn’t get heated. Keep it intellectual, respect her beliefs, and excuse yourself if you need to.
 
I think the best way for someone to come to a realization of God’s existence is to see God in others; e.g., their spouse.

I don’t think it’s nearly as important for people to come to a realization of the existence of God as it is for them to come to a realization that God loves them and wants to be in relationship with them. A lot of people who believe that God exists don’t really care and have no interest in pursuing a relationship with Him.

But that’s just my opinion. You know your wife. I don’t.

I suggest checking out all the resources here on www.catholic.com (Catholic Answers). There are many excellent apologists and several of them have good books out, or CDs/DVDs. Every once in a while, you can even catch one of them at a conference near you, or doing a mission or retreat at a nearby parish.

Also, I would strongly, STRONGLY suggest that you ask, with great humility, your wife to please read Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. C.S. Lewis was one of the greatest thinkers of modern times, and this book of his has been a major factor in the conversion of many people to belief in God and Christianity. It’s simple enough for a teenager to read and understand, but deep enough to keep a genius interested. And it’s full of C.S. Lewis’ heart. Even if your wife isn’t the least bit interested in knowing God and admitting His existence, she should read this book because it is worth reading as a piece of mid-20th century literature.

God bless your efforts!
 
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Most certainly. Debating each other is one our favorite pass time activities.
 
Honestly, I’d leave the debating to someone else.

Christ told you, as He told all of us “let your light so shine before men that they see your good works (not debate skills) and glorify your Father in Heaven” and “By this will all men know you are my disciples (not by how well you debate) by the love you have for one another”.

Start loving, start doing good works. Let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
 
I kindly welcome your advice.

My wife is an ex-protestant, actually. She saw a lot of intellectual errors in fundamental pentecostalism and me and her both got fed up with it. It drove me deeper into Scripture and history while she started looking for answers outside of Christianity. For this reason, most of her skepticism comes from intellectual arguments. If she came to the intellectual conclusion that Catholicism is truthful, she would then yield her heart over to faith as well. Lack of intellectual certainty is something that always makes her remain a little reserved.

But yeah, thank you! I will try to live my life to the fullest according to what God wants. That will show her the heart of Christ even if it’s lacking due to my human limitations.
 
You might want to seek out the conversion story of author John C Wright, she may find it intriguing.
 
Peter Kreeft
Fr Robert Spitzer
both can give very reason-based cases for the existence of God and both are widely searchable on the internet
 
My advice is to stay away from debating your wife on this topic. She is agnostic. Show her your faith through the way you live, instead.

The problem with debating is that there is no objective evidence that God exists. It is all subjective, and one must have faith to accept it as a belief. You have faith that the God you believe in exists. She doesn’t.

Share ideas, don’t debate. Explain how your faith enriches your life, don’t debate. Ask your wife how her beliefs enrich her life, don’t debate it with her. Don’t try to invalidate what she believes (and she shouldn’t do that to you, either, since you agreed to be married to eachother).

Be kind and love each other exactly the way you are. Remember that actions speak far louder than words.
 
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I appreciate your contribution even though I don’t really agree with some of the things you said. I understand intellectually sound arguments for God to be the natural effect of God’s very existence. That’s why I believe sound arguments for God are not representative of the debating skills of any person but rather of God being the eternal Creator whose imprint we can see in everything. This, in my view, gives glory to God as the only eternal absolute.

Of course the fact remains that some people are not made for debates and find them of little importance. Perhaps their personalities cause them to be persuaded by intellectual arguments that seem like they aren’t intellectual by nature. Perhaps the idea that constant theology leads to actions that line up with the theology is one of these intellectual arguments that seem otherwise. God gave us the ability to reason for a reason, after all. 😉
 
I second the idea of having her read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. You can also find a lot of his tracts on youtube and just have her watch them. I think the moral arguments are most convincing–without God there is no legitimate way to defend anything as “good.”

I think the other great way to go about it is to have her list her objections to our ability to know God’s existence and then refute them one by one. Take the time to look up solid answers and write them down if you need to. The reason our best arguments often fall short is because they don’t answer the questions or objections that the other person is most concerned with. In other words, we often talk past each other. I think you might be in danger of that here if your best argument doesn’t have anything to do with her greatest objection.
 
JMMJ said:
there is no objective evidence that God exists. It is all subjective, and one must have faith to accept it as a belief
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Well, I do disagree with this idea because the Bible teaches otherwise and so does the Church:

”The same Holy Mother Church holds and teaches that God, the beginning and end of all things, may be certainly known bwy the natural light of human reason, by means of created things;” (Dei Filius, chapter 2)
JMMJ said:
Don’t try to invalidate what she believes (and she shouldn’t do that to you, either, since you agreed to be married to eachother).
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I really don’t see how pointing out the invalidity of the other person’s logical reasoning goes against the command to love as long as it’s done in a respectful manner and the taking part in the debate is not forced upon anyone.
JMMJ said:
Remember that actions speak far louder than words.
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Well, this is one of the things that my wife doesn’t believe to be true. She believes that anyone with a convincing false-truth can be enabled to act upon the false belief to be true while the belief itself is factually and objectively incorrect.

I should probably add that I do appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut and welcome your advice of showing my faith in actions as a good reminder that is applicable to all circumstances, be it a debate or something else. Thank you!
 
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Debate your wife? Uh. Can’t wait for the Valentine’s Day update!
 
Trust me, she doesn’t mind unless I resort to ad hominems and such.

Thanks for the laugh, anyway. I’ll make sure to ask for tips in the ”family life” category if something goes wrong. 😂
 
Well let’s take this seriously…

Debate prep…

A bag including a cot, sleeping bag, tent, and keys to an impartial friends house. Depending on the relationship a water filter and long term food prep may be essentials.
 
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