Need tips for a debate with wife

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ilkka
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Does she believe there was a man names Jesus born around 3 A.D - historically?
How can she explain a small group of follower’s of this man, persecuted for centuries, yet changes the course of human history - without some type of Supreme Power behind them?

Mostly refer to historical documents, she will not believe any faith driven proof…
I would also look at Fatima with 70,000 witnesses…

On your end, pray, pray, pray, and go to Eucharistic Adoration…

Good luck and keep trying…
 
My first impression here is it depends heavily on your wife’s personality and what speaks to her. Almost always though I tend to think that the head follows the heart. Much of what I’ve heard from those involved in marketing suggest this. We see something we like ir want, and then rationalize. There are clearly exceptions but I think for most of us it’s true.

With that in mind does your parish have events with joyful people? Those performing service to others and living the faith? Honestly to me that’s the first ad for faith. Those people just have something about them so…alive. So honest.
 
That is the reason I pointed you to Mr Wright’s conversion story. He is one of the best philosophical minds I’ve encountered.
 
Don’t debate with her. It can only lead to tears and misunderstandings. Instead, pray for her, and lead by example.

It may take a long time, a very long time. It took 22 years for me to come back from agnosticism.

Remember these maxims:

Happy wife, happy life.
If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
Crabby wife, crappy life.

Faith is one of those “if you have it, no explanation is necessary and if you don’t, no explanation is possible” subjects. It requires your wife to have an “aha!” moment.

Trust me, that won’t come through a debate.
 
This is our story exactly. We’ve been married 29 years. My husband and I both started out as protestants, he became pretty much an atheist, and I became Catholic. We like debating too 🙂 Remember that debating won’t convert your wife. It is only by prayer and the illumination of the Holy Spirit, and as others have said by how you love her. That being said, I would have her read the early church fathers (not commentary on them, but their actual words), as their writings replicate the present-day Catholic Church. I pray she comes to the faith. For my husband, that day is probably very far off.
 
I find that Christians of all kinds think that if they have proven that God exists, they have proven whatever they believe.

I have not found this to be true. I myself came to believe that God existed and was concerned about us by realizing materialist evolution made no sense. (As someone else put it, evolution required more faith than believing in God 😉 )

But it was several years before I found my way to “mere” Christianity, and then a couple more before I discovered Catholicism.

So to me, the argument will come in stages. First God, then Christianity, then Catholicism. (Perhaps generic Christianity can be skipped, especially in your case.)

I would start a thread asking what made people start believing in God, to begin with.

I think in terms of debating, it is best to have at least 2 or 3 more times the information you think you will need, because she will probably take the discussion in a totally unexpected direction.

And don’t be afraid to tell her you don’t know something. Say something like, Wow, what a terrific question; I never thought of that. I need to think about this to come up with a good answer. Shall we resume next Thursday?
 
Last edited:
If you are bent on doing this make it personal. Ask her what she thinks her marriage to you is and means. And why. Would it be wrong to be unfaithful? And why she has those morals and values? And what the purpose of your marriage is. Then be prepared for answers you don’t like
 
This thread is getting derailed due to too much funny. Thanks for the good laugh. 😉
 
William Lane Craig is one of the best and most convincing modern Christian apologists I’ve seen. Any videos of him would be good. (Although he’s not Catholic
 
The objective moral argument is actually not very stable and was even rejected by St Thomas Aquinas.
 
My wife actually really wants to believe in the Christian God. She has simply encountered too many intellectual arguments against the existence of God that she is now very uncertain and wants to find a way to refute the atheist arguments. So far she hasn’t found a way for that and that is what leads her to remaining in a state of agnosticism.
 
Ilkka said:
Well, I do disagree with this idea because the Bible teaches otherwise and so does the Church:

”The same Holy Mother Church holds and teaches that God, the beginning and end of all things, may be certainly known bwy the natural light of human reason, by means of created things;” (Dei Filius, chapter 2)
Click to expand...
To accept this means that one must accept the Bible and Church teachings about it. Most agnostics don’t. So you will get no traction with that.
 
JMMJ said:
To accept this means that one must accept the Bible and Church teachings about it.
Click to expand...
Uh, this Church teaching is infallibly true regardless of whether an individual skeptic accepts it as a fact or not. The Church teaching is infallibly and objectively true no matter what any human being thinks about it. It is based on objective reality and this is why human reason without error is able to find out about God that He exists and what He is roughly like.
 
Well is it rejected by his wife is the question? Where does one who does not believe in a god derive their morals from. And the very definition of marriage would be different for the op and his wife. I think that is worth exploring. If both parties entered into a covenant or contract it would be helpful to know what that is.
For morality she may answer societal norms or familial upbringing, or just plain old humankind common sense, but those are all incomplete and different answers on their own. Personally I’d like to know if the person I’m married to didn’t practice murder or rape or fidelity simply because society has deemed it unwise. Slavery and rape and underage sex were all at one time societal norms. So I’d like to know why someone believes something is wrong.
 
Last edited:
She wont believe that God exists unless there is an intellectual debate ?

Many people that were illiterate, lesser-educated ,etc have believed that God exists.

God’s existence is not IQ or intelligence dependent.

There were no NT bibles for a few hundred years, the literacy rate back then(100AD) was probably less than 5% in most towns anyway.
 
And that’s the crux of your wife’s problem, the concept of an “intellectual argument” for or against the existence of God. The whole belief in God is based on having faith, the intellectual side does not matter one bit. Until she abandons intellectualism and focus’s on one having faith instead, the “debate” is doomed to failure.
 
Last edited:
Have you ever listened to Dr. David Anders? He’s on EWTN radio whatever the call letters are in your state; here in NE it’s called Station of the Cross 1060 AM.
In any case, I can’t think of anyone better that can answer just about any question/or argument in defense of the belief in God or Catholic faith. He also comes from protestant background. I wonder if your wife is on a path towards the faith too without really realizing it yet, because she’s developed a skepticism. You might continue the intellectual arguments for the case for God/faith as I think you may eventually “trip her up” and I mean that in the best sense. But I strongly recommend giving a listen to Dr. Anders. I wish he was still on here at the 2:00 hour but they moved his show to 6:00pm and the station here doesn’t come in clear at that time any more.

Peace to you,
Debbie
 
First one shouldn’t debate things with their spouse. Instead have open and civil discussions with her.

My best advice: be Christ like and live your life in a saint-like manner and become a better person in the process. Seeing you transformed into a better person through your faith will be your most powerful proof of God’s existence and the righteousness of the Catholic church’s teachings.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top