Need to confess - sin

[ALEX]

i think i may have a problem and i dont know where else to go to for it , av not been to the catholic church for a very long time not been to confession for while now i lie about things and i cant seem to stop doing it i have mental health problems and i self injure , i hate myself so much most of the time i want to die when i was a teen i started to hurt myself and make up stories about how the injury happened and id get attention from others from then on in i lied almost everyday but i couldnt stop myself and i seem to never get in trouble for it as no one knew i was lying I DO have mental health problems i cant leave the house on my own because of suicide attempts my husband has to go everywhere with me when i met my husband i lied to him about my past , to make myself sound like a nice person and interesting i kept lying more and more keeping made up secrets from family and him one of the lies to told that someone abused me from the age of 13 but years later i was told by my sister that we where about at a very young age my sister is 3 years older than me i guess i got what i deserved for making things up …when i met my husband he never asked my family about this my mother is very sharp and judgemental of people we avoid her most of the time she said what my sister said was a lie we dont have a good relationship with my mother some of the lying is been about my health i have OCD and use to get mixed up between thoughts and actual voices and bpd, my dr and psych believe i hear voices i get given anti psychotics but there mostly for my OCD and Borderline personality disorder i also have times where i feel am going to hurt other people but i dont the other medication i have is for depression and to keep me calm when am not coping with things so well
i have in the past told people my mental health is made up but they didnt believe me my husband believes my mental health is very bad …i self injury i am dangerous to myself and others and i cant cope with life , i have given up the thought of having a family because i dont want my children to be screwed up like me
i want to go to confession but me and my husband go to a non Catholic church my husband dont like the Catholic church because of our viws on same sex marriage and weather its a sin of not
i told my husband am lying overr and over no one bleives me
i think am going to go to hell i want to confess but am scared and i hate myself kinda want to die right now

sorry if this is in the wrong place

 

[Mary_Ellen]

You need the assistance of a mental health professional. If you are not in therapy - get a therapist. Since you are feeling suicidal you should contact the professionals you are working with regarding the meds to get some help. Now.

As for confession, you should make an appointment to talk with a priest. Confession may or may not be part of the time you spend with him.

You will be in my prayers.