Need to lose 20 lbs

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Miriam_Adelaide

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So, I need to lose 20 lbs, maybe even 25. I’m pretty upset with myself, I’m actually quite surprised how much this is affecting my self esteem. I got maried almost a year ago and have gained 15 lbs (well, gained 6 then lost it then gained some more). It is definitely affecting hubby and his attraction toward me too. He has confided in me that he is concerned I might end up like an older sister who is about 60 lbs overweight. She, however is still very attractive and carries her weight very well. I on the other hand look SO much better lean and even a little extra weight makes my face and body look pudgy and out of proportion. 😦
I have been down this road before, several times losing and gaining 5,10,15 lbs over the years. Not sure what I am looking for, writing in this forum…maybe some encouragement or even some prayers? I do believe that I may be sinning, not taking care of the body God gave me, for my own dignity and for hubby’s happiness.
Anyone been like this and overcome their weight issues? When I think about the effort and committment needed to tackle this I really struggle with believing I can do it (AND THEN MAINTAIN THE WEIGHTLOSS…FOREVER!). I feel like such a baby, like I need someone to hold my hand through the process because I can’t do it on my own! I know, that is so pathetic! :eek:
 
Miriam_Adelaide said:
So, I need to lose 20 lbs, maybe even 25. I’m pretty upset with myself, I’m actually quite surprised how much this is affecting my self esteem. I got maried almost a year ago and have gained 15 lbs (well, gained 6 then lost it then gained some more). It is definitely affecting hubby and his attraction toward me too. He has confided in me that he is concerned I might end up like an older sister who is about 60 lbs overweight. She, however is still very attractive and carries her weight very well. I on the other hand look SO much better lean and even a little extra weight makes my face and body look pudgy and out of proportion. 😦
I have been down this road before, several times losing and gaining 5,10,15 lbs over the years. Not sure what I am looking for, writing in this forum…maybe some encouragement or even some prayers? I do believe that I may be sinning, not taking care of the body God gave me, for my own dignity and for hubby’s happiness.
Anyone been like this and overcome their weight issues? When I think about the effort and committment needed to tackle this I really struggle with believing I can do it (AND THEN MAINTAIN THE WEIGHTLOSS…FOREVER!). I feel like such a baby, like I need someone to hold my hand through the process because I can’t do it on my own! I know, that is so pathetic! :eek:
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Depending on your overall fitness level and health (which frankly should be the only reason your husband should even bring this subject up to you; his reported comments are out of line in my book), start walking or jogging an hour a day, drink less soda, eat healthier foods (there really isn’t a need to diet if you eat healthy).
 
The key is to care less about the weight and your appearance and more about what is healthy for your body long term.

I was SO suspicious of the “South Beach” diet when I first heard of it because the name itself sounds like a fad or lame trend. But the guy is a genius. Never before in human history have we had so much sugar and refined starch in our diets (which breaks down into sugar practically instantly in your body). We’re literally killing ourselves with poor food choices by training ourselves to always be building body fat and never to be burning it. You have to read the book to understand the effect sugar plays on the insulin cycle.

I’m a bit off the wagon after losing about 15 pounds without EVER counting calories or feeling hungry. I’m no longer losing because I’ve gotten lazy, but it hasn’t come back because I’ve permanently chopped out some things:
  1. NO white bread - instead have whole grain.
  2. NO sugar pop - instead have diet (and then only with meals or even diet pop will goose your insulin - long story).
  3. No white rice - instead have long grain brown.
  4. No white flour - instead have whole wheat (even for cookies)
  5. No refined sugar in recipes - instead have Splenda (see warning #2).
Do the hard core “phase 1” part for a couple weeks (eat as much as you want of the limited choices) then relax a bit to the phase 2 which allows some carb indulgence and you’ll lose what you want. Find your similar permanent change to mine above and it won’t come back either. Naturally, excercise helps too!

The key is not to focus on the weight. Don’t even weigh yourself for the whole first two weeks. Just excercise a bit and eat the right veggies and proteins. You’ll be impressed. Your whole body chemistry changes. Most people have a cycle where your food floods the system with sugar and triggers an insulin surge to convert the sugars to fat. After a time, the body finishes the conversion and gives you a hunger urge again: snack time! It becomes a vicious cycle where you are always trickling in a sugar supply and your body never changes over to converting fat and protein to energy instead of sugar directly to energy. By getting off the carb binge, you retrain the body to function more naturally. Plants and animals don’t naturally have massive doses of refined sugar. The sugar in them (even most fruits) digests more slowly and you never get that insulin spike.
 
manualman said:
The key is to care less about the weight and your appearance and more about what is healthy for your body long term.

I was SO suspicious of the “South Beach” diet when I first heard of it because the name itself sounds like a fad or lame trend. But the guy is a genius. Never before in human history have we had so much sugar and refined starch in our diets (which breaks down into sugar practically instantly in your body). We’re literally killing ourselves with poor food choices by training ourselves to always be building body fat and never to be burning it. You have to read the book to understand the effect sugar plays on the insulin cycle.

I’m a bit off the wagon after losing about 15 pounds without EVER counting calories or feeling hungry. I’m no longer losing because I’ve gotten lazy, but it hasn’t come back because I’ve permanently chopped out some things:
  1. NO white bread - instead have whole grain.
  2. NO sugar pop - instead have diet (and then only with meals or even diet pop will goose your insulin - long story).
  3. No white rice - instead have long grain brown.
  4. No white flour - instead have whole wheat (even for cookies)
  5. No refined sugar in recipes - instead have Splenda (see warning #2).
Do the hard core “phase 1” part for a couple weeks (eat as much as you want of the limited choices) then relax a bit to the phase 2 which allows some carb indulgence and you’ll lose what you want. Find your similar permanent change to mine above and it won’t come back either. Naturally, excercise helps too!

The key is not to focus on the weight. Don’t even weigh yourself for the whole first two weeks. Just excercise a bit and eat the right veggies and proteins. You’ll be impressed. Your whole body chemistry changes. Most people have a cycle where your food floods the system with sugar and triggers an insulin surge to convert the sugars to fat. After a time, the body finishes the conversion and gives you a hunger urge again: snack time! It becomes a vicious cycle where you are always trickling in a sugar supply and your body never changes over to converting fat and protein to energy instead of sugar directly to energy. By getting off the carb binge, you retrain the body to function more naturally. Plants and animals don’t naturally have massive doses of refined sugar. The sugar in them (even most fruits) digests more slowly and you never get that insulin spike.
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Sugar is the devil…
I read a book by Gary Taubes recently (click here to go to his web page) and it totally changed the way I eat.
 
This is my advice:

Eat More Fruits and Vegetables, especially Organic when you can (there are certain ones that are definitely organic only such as Apples because you eat the skin as well.)

If you drink it a lot, cut out soda pop…Drink More water. If you must drink Soda, there’s a soda pop called Zevia that is naturally sweetened with Stevia (a botanic plant that has been used for hundreds of years as a sweetener). You’re more likely to find it at health food stores such as Whole Foods and Natural Grocers. I’ve also seen it at Super Target.
Aspartame, which is what Diet Drinks use, is actually a dangerous chemical (it actually makes you crave MORE sugar).

Cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup…you’d be surprised how many food products have this added! Ketchup, Barbeque Sauce, etc

Eat Brown Rice when possible. I’ve done this on fridays of Lent and added some frozen mixed vegetables to it.

Learn to read labels…if you ever eat those boxed frozen meals…you’d be surprised how much sugar is in some of them! I’m sure you do more cooking than heating up a frozen meal, though.

Walk as much as possible…unless you live or work on a high floor, taking the stairs would be a great way to get in shape.
 
Miriam,
It certainly is tough to keep off the weight. It really comes down to changing your lifestyle. Try to be mindful of what you are eating and whether or not you are eating because your body needs it or just because. It can be easy to eat out of boredom or for emotional reasons. Of course you have to be sure to be active and exercise. Ease your way into a good routine and if you have a bad day/week, shake it off and stay committed. If you notice you are overindulging in certain things, consider abstaining from it from time to time as a form of penance. Lastly, is your husband very active? Maybe you guys can exercise or do other activities together like hiking. You are in my prayers.
 
Doesn’t anyone else see a bigger problem with a husband married only a year losing interest because his wife gained 20 lbs? How will he react to her getting pregnant, nursing, getting older, etc.?
Nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, eat healthier, exercise, all good things and good advice, but this is not a sign of mutual respect and unconditional love.
 
Eleanor61 said:
Doesn’t anyone else see a bigger problem with a husband married only a year losing interest because his wife gained 20 lbs? How will he react to her getting pregnant, nursing, getting older, etc.?
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Sure - but the OP didn’t solicit advice on that subject.
 
Miriam_Adelaide said:
So, I need to lose 20 lbs, maybe even 25. I’m pretty upset with myself, I’m actually quite surprised how much this is affecting my self esteem. I got maried almost a year ago and have gained 15 lbs (well, gained 6 then lost it then gained some more). It is definitely affecting hubby and his attraction toward me too. He has confided in me that he is concerned I might end up like an older sister who is about 60 lbs overweight. She, however is still very attractive and carries her weight very well. I on the other hand look SO much better lean and even a little extra weight makes my face and body look pudgy and out of proportion. 😦
I have been down this road before, several times losing and gaining 5,10,15 lbs over the years. Not sure what I am looking for, writing in this forum…maybe some encouragement or even some prayers? I do believe that I may be sinning, not taking care of the body God gave me, for my own dignity and for hubby’s happiness.
Anyone been like this and overcome their weight issues? When I think about the effort and committment needed to tackle this I really struggle with believing I can do it (AND THEN MAINTAIN THE WEIGHTLOSS…FOREVER!). I feel like such a baby, like I need someone to hold my hand through the process because I can’t do it on my own! I know, that is so pathetic! :eek:
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I think the key thing you said is that you got married about a year ago. I think a lot of people who have battled with their weight get into trouble after a big life change. You’ve already heard some good advice as to how to lose weight. You still have to figure out how to build that into your marriage.

If you can, figure out how to cook healthy meals that you both like. (That was the hardest thing for my marriage. We still don’t like many of the same healthy foods 25+ years later.) And you probably need to build exercise time into your marriage. Hopefully there is something you can do together. (My husband and I like hiking together.) If/when you have children you have to figure out how to balance food and exercise into the family routine.

It’s not always easy. Ask your husband for help. If he wants you to be thinner then maybe BOTH of you need to make some changes.
 
Perhaps you and your husband could find an activity that you like to do together? Walking or biking in the evening? Swimming? Dancing? Hiking?
Working out isn’t work when it’s fun, and the two of you would enjoy keeping your muscles in shape together.
Staying healthy for each God and for each other could become one of your favorite couple activities. Have a wonderful time being active together!
 
Weight Watchers did wonders for me after my 2 pregnancies. if you choose to go to meetings (you can do it online instead, or both) you get a lot of support from people who are doing the same thing. That helped me a lot and I stayed on track. Keeping the weight off requires a big change in eating habits and activity levels. It is not easy but it can be done. You can do it!
 
I want you to know that there is nothing interior wrong with your husband being concerned if he is concerned for your health and not what you look like for other people. Your married so listen to your husband not the latest edition of Cosmo.

With that being said there is a certain way to go about loosing weight without destroying your body.

GOOD HABITS. Man that makes up 80 percent of the work right there. I do a 20 min work out once a week with weights , and then rest then walk for 20, or some form of cardio, then rest, then another day of cardio, then rest then one last day of cardio. Pay attention to the serving size on the nutritional facts like for example, I eat Late July Chips, and say a serving size is 20 chips, well you don’t have to be exact but only have one serving. When your eating, don’t go up for seconds. Drink water of course because it fills you up, but most of all I repeat form good habits. I’m starting school again so it will be a little harder to follow the schedule I mentioned above. You won’t loose a tine of weight in a week but you will have the drive to keep going week in week out and that’s where you will see results.

Read, Kevin Vost’s Fit for Eternal Life. it’s such a good book especially for Christians trying to intergrate Faith and bodily health, plus it has a special appendix for Women.
 
Eleanor61 said:
Doesn’t anyone else see a bigger problem with a husband married only a year losing interest because his wife gained 20 lbs? How will he react to her getting pregnant, nursing, getting older, etc.?
Nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, eat healthier, exercise, all good things and good advice, but this is not a sign of mutual respect and unconditional love.
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I only have a minute (working late tonight), and I just wanted to address this. My husband hasn’t lost interest in me, he just sees what is true - I’m not as attractive with the extra weight as I am without it. He’s looking forward to seeing me pregnant, but hopes I “expand” in the right places, rather than balloon out, which is what I want as well. It may seem harsh, but I feel the same way he does, and I’de rather he be honest than not tell me. I do have extra weight, I do tend to gain easily and I really want to nip it in the bud early in our marriage…I think even if he didn’t care, I would.
 
Miriam_Adelaide said:
I on the other hand look SO much better lean and even a little extra weight makes my face and body look pudgy and out of proportion. 😦
I have been down this road before, several times losing and gaining 5,10,15 lbs over the years. Not sure what I am looking for, writing in this forum…maybe some encouragement or even some prayers? I do believe that I may be sinning, not taking care of the body God gave me, for my own dignity and for hubby’s happiness.
Click to expand...
The problem with diets is that they don’t last, as one will eventually come off the diet and revert back to one’s eating lifestyle.

I think the key is to get to the root of being overweight. In plain terms, the obesity of most people who are overweight is because they eat amounts of food that are not in proportion with the needs of their daily lives. Their bodies are not active enough to justify the amounts of food being consumed on a daily basis.

http://img37.imageshack.us/img37/1488/5523627.jpg
A high calorie diet with plenty of carbohydrates and protein in massive amounts is necessary to sustain the activities of those who have strenuous jobs, such as construction workers, lumberjacks, and the host of activities requiring manual labor. On the other hand, people who who eat like lumberjacks, but do not engage in physical activity all day are simply being gluttonous. Gluttony is a vice; and it is also a sin. The virtue which uproots the vice of gluttony is called temperance.

There are some practical steps one can take to begin changing one’s excessive eating lifestyles. The first one is to eat smaller portions of food. You can still eat ice cream and pizza, just cut down on the amounts, and slow down your eating pace; chew and savor the flavors taking three times the amount of time you normally do to chew and swallow what you eat. You will find yourself feeling full before you finish. This is because the stomach gets full before it registers your brain; thus you will end up eating less.

When asked what was their first impression of America, the Japanese tourists said they were amazed at how fat Americans are,and how large the servings of food are at restaurants.

You only need so much food to get through the day. Think of food as fuel. If you know you do not have a particularly physically taxing day ahead of you, limit the amounts in proportion to your day. If you have a day of leisure and reading, don’t eat the same foods you would if you have a day of cleaning the house or hiking. Load up on calories according to your schedule. On a relaxing day, instead of eating three slices of pizza, have one slice; chew it and savor it thoroughly— instead of shoveling it down your throat without getting the full concert of flavor in your mouth.

Put it all in perspective. If a man has a powerful muscular body the result of wielding jackhammers and lifting lumber as part of his livelihood to put food on the table for his family, he is doing what a man has to do. Whereas a man who is all musclebound the result of spending hours at a gymnasium looking at himself in the mirror is merely addicted to the culture of vanity and self-worship.

So the key is to do what you do for the right reasons. Let the body serve the spirit; not the spirit be slave to the body. So eat less to conquer the vice of gluttony; not merely to look good in a pair of jeans…
 
These will sound strange and undoubtedly some would say they’re bad advice. But here they are as follows. But I’ll also say that I’m a guy, and it might be different for women. I’m fairly trim, but now and then I gain a bit. But it doesn’t take too long to lose it.

Eating no fat at all in one’s diet will take pounds off in a big way. Doesn’t matter what else you eat. But one has to be careful because one needs SOME fat in his/her diet to maintain health. But one can be very, very sparing of its consumption. Serious fasting will do it too. After two days, your appetite drops sharply, and it isn’t as bad as one might think. A person can go weeks without eating at all and live. I don’t recommend that because it can cause other problems. But if a person found out what Carmelites eat in Lent, one could adopt that diet for awhile and undoubtedly be just fine.

Oddly, perhaps, I have found that upper body exercise drops weight faster than the lower body exercise everybody recommends for weight loss. Possibly that’s because the upper body muscles, being smaller, have to work harder.

The human brain actually uses up more energy than all the other body parts together. I have also read that of all human activities, playing classic piano from sheet music is the overall highest energy-consuming thing a person can do because of all the brain energy expended. Now, we can’t all play the piano or read music, but intense brain activity really can burn calories. I used to be astonished at how much weight I would lose in college and graduate school cramming for exams. I always did. I have, in my time, done a fair amount of wood carving. That takes a lot of muscle control and intense concentration. I always stayed trim when I did a lot of that. It was serious carving; statues and such. With the proper tools, it’s easier to learn than one might think. It’s fun, too, when you get the hang of it. likely some of the really difficult stitching some women do would also be an energy-burner. But I never did any of that, so i don’t really know.

For some reason, working outside in the heat or the cold, either one, causes unexpected weight loss beyond what working in normal temperatures will do. I get surprised all the time by that. I can understand why working outside in the cold will do it…generating body heat in the cold uses up a lot of energy.

Maybe this is all useless to you. But I hope some part of it might be helpful.
 
I’ve gained and lost weight in our relationship several times…gained 30 while dating, lost 30 before wedding, gained 10 before pregnancy (three months into marriage!!), then gained 50 during pregnancy, lost 50, gained 30 in second pregnancy, lost 30, gained 40, lost 35. I’m quite aware of how weight can affect self esteem, and perceived feelings of attractiveness. It’s super important to love how you feel in your own skin, and that will translate to every other aspect of life.

First of all, do you have a regular exercise routine? This is very important for overall bodily health. You really should try to devote 1hr of exercise at least 6 days a week, and two days of that should include weight training. Try to eat very light dinners, a zone bar or cheese stick and an apple with a spoon of peanut butter. I’ve been very efficient with losing weight when I had very small dinners (very little eating after 4pm…enjoy a nice lunch and breakfast…you will most likely burn most of the calories before bed) and I’ve maintained a consistent exercise schedule.

Why not try to rope DH into an extra walk before bed while eating your dinner snack vs a regular meal? I know it’s hard since it’s sooo nice to come home and relax and eat after work and the DH probably loves food too. But it’s so rewarding to put on a pair of jeans and love how they look on you.

Good luck…I still struggle with this every single day. I realize that I will probably have to work at it every day of my life since I don’t have a genetically wonderful metabolism, but exercise also gives you those fabulous endorphines.
 
Consider a 24 hour fast twice a week, on two non-consecutive days. After dinner one night, just don’t eat anything with calories until dinner the next night. Much of the fast occurs while you’re asleep, so it’s not too hard. Lots of water, black coffee is also okay and even sugarless gum. Don’t gorge yourself when you start eating again at the next dinner. just resume your normal meal schedule. This is called an intermittent fasting plan (also Eat-Stop-Eat) that works very well and is healthy if done as described. Combine with moderate cardio and some weight training to preserve muscle mass. Try to eat generally healthy (lean meats, veggies, etc.), but an occasional doughnut or dessert is okay when you’re not fasting.

Despite the advice from those who claim your body will enter a catabolic state if you don’t eat 6 meals a day, you won’t. You will lose about 1 to 2 pounds a week doing this, slowly and steadily. Google “intermittent fasting” or “Brad Pilon,” who wrote a book on this after doing research on fasted states for his thesis, for more advice. His book is good for the research cites, but most of the program is what I just told you. There are no fad supplements or bizarre eating strictures or anything to buy, you’re just reducing your calories using a weekly overview of your caloric intake instead of trying to do it daily by counting calories in each meal, which most people find next to impossible over long periods. You cut your weekly calorie load by about 20 - 30% this way.

Once at your target weight, just monitor your weight and add an occasional single fast day a week if you begin to add weight.

If you’d like, take the money you’d spend on 3 skipped meals and give it to charity.

Do NOT try this if you are diabetic, a child, or pregnant. Check with your doctor if you have any concerns. Hope this is helpful, I lost about 30 pounds this way and have kept the weight off for years.
 
I just started a diet on web md. You type in your activity level and howmuch weight you want to lose per week. It tells your how many calories you can have per day and how many calories you should burn from exercise. Except for the hassle of planning your meals for the next day, it’s pretty easy. You’d be surprised how much you can actually eat when you plan your meals. You get 3 snacks per day along with your meals. I’ve been on it a little over a week and I have lost a couple of pounds so far. Just something for you to think about.
 
OK you all have talked me into it.🙂

I would like to lose 30 lbs. I am a diabetic and have been to the nutrition classes which are excellent by the way. There a diabetic learns how to eat correctly to maintain sugar readings and it absolutely works if I do what I am suppose to do. It is a whole change in eating habits and when I found out the actual size a portion is I nearly flipped. I had been eating enough for two full grown men. Only problem is I’m a woman standing 5’2. I really think sitting at the computer hasn’t helped in weight loss .:cool:

Anyway, I feel the most important part about trying to lose weight is the exercise program. If you can faithfully stick to a program and then just watch the portion sizes you may very well be successful. I’m starting this tomorrow morning.

OP: I also don’t feel your husband is harsh. Sometimes we just need to hear from someone close to us that a change needs to be made. Thank him for it and hit the tredmill! 😉
 
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