Need to vent!!

[tracie001]

My husband and I are trying to join the Catholic church. We started researching it about 3 years ago. I talked with a nun at the local parish and asked if we would be able to join b/c I had heard that if you had been married before you couldn’t. She said that wasn’t a problem and we could join, we would just need to start RCIA classes. So we did, and were very excited about it. Well, about 2 classes into it we found out we would have to have anullments. I had not talked to my ex in years and was not interested in getting in touch with him. (It was a VERY bad situation and my son had not seen him in several years either). We talked to 2 different priests and neither of them were concerned over it at all, they acted as if they didn’t want to really talk to us. We were never given ANY advice on what to do, so we stopped going to the classes and to Mass. We have since visited a couple of protestant churches, but knowing what we did about the Catholic church, it just wasn’t the same!! So we decided that we HAD to do this. My son’s older (in college now) and I’m ok with things knowing that my ex can’t pull something with my son now. So we started back attending Mass and have been for a couple of months. The priest there was transferred and we have a new one. We talked with him one Saturday after Mass and told him we wanted to join the church and would like to speak with him on some issues. He didn’t seem happy about it at all. I realize he’s busy, but this is getting ridiculous!! He told us, hesitantly, to call him and he would set up an appt. with us. I called, told the secretary it was concerning our annulment process and we’ve heard NOTHING!!! I know we’re not his only concern, but what’s the deal? I feel like at every turn we’re being snubbed. And no one seems to really care!!! At least I can go into a protestant church and feel welcomed and they’ll call you non-stop if you want them to. I just don’t understand. This is something we want soooo bad, but I don’t guess it’ll happen. And, the way I feel right now is - that if I can’t be a part of the true church, I’m not going anywhere!!!
I’m not meaning to be offensive to anyone, I just really needed to vent. I just don’t understand this!! Has anyone else ever had this kind of experience?
Tracie

 

[Gabriel_of_12]

My husband and I are trying to join the Catholic church. We started researching it about 3 years ago. I talked with a nun at the local parish and asked if we would be able to join b/c I had heard that if you had been married before you couldn’t. She said that wasn’t a problem and we could join, we would just need to start RCIA classes. So we did, and were very excited about it. Well, about 2 classes into it we found out we would have to have anullments. I had not talked to my ex in years and was not interested in getting in touch with him. (It was a VERY bad situation and my son had not seen him in several years either). We talked to 2 different priests and neither of them were concerned over it at all, they acted as if they didn’t want to really talk to us. We were never given ANY advice on what to do, so we stopped going to the classes and to Mass. We have since visited a couple of protestant churches, but knowing what we did about the Catholic church, it just wasn’t the same!! So we decided that we HAD to do this. My son’s older (in college now) and I’m ok with things knowing that my ex can’t pull something with my son now. So we started back attending Mass and have been for a couple of months. The priest there was transferred and we have a new one. We talked with him one Saturday after Mass and told him we wanted to join the church and would like to speak with him on some issues. He didn’t seem happy about it at all. I realize he’s busy, but this is getting ridiculous!! He told us, hesitantly, to call him and he would set up an appt. with us. I called, told the secretary it was concerning our annulment process and we’ve heard NOTHING!!! I know we’re not his only concern, but what’s the deal? I feel like at every turn we’re being snubbed. And no one seems to really care!!! At least I can go into a protestant church and feel welcomed and they’ll call you non-stop if you want them to. I just don’t understand. This is something we want soooo bad, but I don’t guess it’ll happen. And, the way I feel right now is - that if I can’t be a part of the true church, I’m not going anywhere!!!
I’m not meaning to be offensive to anyone, I just really needed to vent. I just don’t understand this!! Has anyone else ever had this kind of experience?
Tracie

Please dont give up: Speaking to a priest is very important. Try another parish, or call the Diocese (Bishop) and let him know what’s going on. It takes time for an annullment, this is done through the diocese, with the assistant of your priest. You need to make sure, your past marriage was valid? before an annullment process to begin.

You should continue in the RCIA program and finish it. Many questions will get answered that way about the church and understanding the sacraments. There are options depending on your circumstances, whether or not you would be able to recieve any sacraments, this is worth looking into. You must reveal all to the priest for him to help you. A nun or layperson is not going to know all of your personal experience regarding your past marriage. So they cannot determine your outcome, or make a judgement what you need, until all is said and done.

Please keep seeking, Jesus will not let you down

Peace be with you

 

[tracie001]

Yeah, I know the annullment process is long. And I feel positive once they read our papers that our previous marriages will be annulled. We’ve downloaded our papers to fill out from the Diocese. The secretary at the parish told us where to go to get that. Now, we’re trying to talk to a priest to find out where to go from here. We’ve got them all done. Just waiting!! That’s why we wanted to talk to a priest. The RCIA classes don’t start until after labor day. But, I feel like I know the church inside and out!! I’ve studied so much on my own!! Read books, and I’m an EWTN junkie. lol Of course, I don’t mind attending the classes, I know that’s part of it and we were very eager to get started! I just don’t know if that’s going to happen. I’ve really been praying about it. I’m just so disappointed that no one will talk to us!!
Thanks for your response!!
Tracie

 

[1ke]

Yeah, I know the annullment process is long. And I feel positive once they read our papers that our previous marriages will be annulled. We’ve downloaded our papers to fill out from the Diocese. The secretary at the parish told us where to go to get that. Now, we’re trying to talk to a priest to find out where to go from here. We’ve got them all done. Just waiting!! That’s why we wanted to talk to a priest. The RCIA classes don’t start until after labor day. But, I feel like I know the church inside and out!! I’ve studied so much on my own!! Read books, and I’m an EWTN junkie. lol Of course, I don’t mind attending the classes, I know that’s part of it and we were very eager to get started! I just don’t know if that’s going to happen. I’ve really been praying about it. I’m just so disappointed that no one will talk to us!!
Thanks for your response!!
Tracie

Patience, grasshopper. Patience is a virtue.

You have found the Truth, don’t let anyone’s perceived rebuff come between you and that Truth of the Catholic Faith.

Yes, the priest was rude to not return your call. Many priests are stretched quite thin, so do try to be gracious and cut him some slack. I know it’s hard because you are now “ready” and want to beat the doors down.

But, remember how long Jacob toiled to be able to marry Rebecca! Remember the story of the pearl of great price. Don’t get mad and walk away.

People come in all shapes and sizes, some friendly and some not. Yes, the priest should be more friendly and welcoming. But, the fact is he wasn’t. That does not change one thing regarding the Truth of the Catholic Faith.

Persevere in Faith.

 

[Christy74]

My husband and I are trying to join the Catholic church. We started researching it about 3 years ago. I talked with a nun at the local parish and asked if we would be able to join b/c I had heard that if you had been married before you couldn’t. She said that wasn’t a problem and we could join, we would just need to start RCIA classes. So we did, and were very excited about it. Well, about 2 classes into it we found out we would have to have anullments. I had not talked to my ex in years and was not interested in getting in touch with him. (It was a VERY bad situation and my son had not seen him in several years either). We talked to 2 different priests and neither of them were concerned over it at all, they acted as if they didn’t want to really talk to us. We were never given ANY advice on what to do, so we stopped going to the classes and to Mass. We have since visited a couple of protestant churches, but knowing what we did about the Catholic church, it just wasn’t the same!! So we decided that we HAD to do this. My son’s older (in college now) and I’m ok with things knowing that my ex can’t pull something with my son now. So we started back attending Mass and have been for a couple of months. The priest there was transferred and we have a new one. We talked with him one Saturday after Mass and told him we wanted to join the church and would like to speak with him on some issues. He didn’t seem happy about it at all. I realize he’s busy, but this is getting ridiculous!! He told us, hesitantly, to call him and he would set up an appt. with us. I called, told the secretary it was concerning our annulment process and we’ve heard NOTHING!!! I know we’re not his only concern, but what’s the deal? I feel like at every turn we’re being snubbed. And no one seems to really care!!! At least I can go into a protestant church and feel welcomed and they’ll call you non-stop if you want them to. I just don’t understand. This is something we want soooo bad, but I don’t guess it’ll happen. And, the way I feel right now is - that if I can’t be a part of the true church, I’m not going anywhere!!!
I’m not meaning to be offensive to anyone, I just really needed to vent. I just don’t understand this!! Has anyone else ever had this kind of experience?
Tracie

Eastern Orthodoxy is recongized by the Catholic Church as the “Other Lung” and was highly praised and recommended by Pope John Paul II.

Orthodox Priests are more than happy to meet with people and prior marriage(s) are not an issue and an annulment is not needed.

In Orthodoxy there are valid Sacraments: Body and Blood of Jesus in the Most Holy Eucharist, Confession, etc. and children (just as in the Eastern Catholic Church) are not forbidden to receive Holy Eucharist as Christ says, “Let the little children come unto me.”

I, an Eastern Catholic, would highly recommend you and your husband to seriously look into and pursue a meeting with an Orthodox Priest.

I know it can be very dangerous to open the door to the past, to an ex, in certain situations. This is not necessary. The ex-communications between the Roman Catholic Church and the Greek Orthodox Church was lifted decades ago.

 

[1ke]

Eastern Orthodoxy is recongized by the Catholic Church as the “Other Lung” and was highly praised and recommended by Pope John Paul II.

The Orthodox Church was not “recommended” by JPII. As a schismatic group it is not possible for a Catholic to “recommend” someone join the Orthodox Church.

The Catholic Church works fervently to end the schism and bring the Orthodox back into full communion.

Orthodox Priests are more than happy to meet with people and prior marriage(s) are not an issue and an annulment is not needed.

This is inaccurate. If the Orthodox do not teach the indissoluability of marriage, then they’ve gone from schism into heresy.

I, an Eastern Catholic, would highly recommend you and your husband to seriously look into and pursue a meeting with an Orthodox Priest.

How on EARTH could you ever recommend such a reckless course of action to someone seeking the Truth of the Catholic Faith.

This is the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen posted.

The Orthodox are in schism. They lack the fullness of Truth. They lack unity with the Pope.

I know it can be very dangerous to open the door to the past, to an ex, in certain situations. This is not necessary. The ex-communications between the Roman Catholic Church and the Greek Orthodox Church was lifted decades ago.

You have a very dangerous, and highly inaccurate, understanding of the situation.

 

[NDfan]

My husband and I are trying to join the Catholic church. We started researching it about 3 years ago. I talked with a nun at the local parish and asked if we would be able to join b/c I had heard that if you had been married before you couldn’t. She said that wasn’t a problem and we could join, we would just need to start RCIA classes. So we did, and were very excited about it. Well, about 2 classes into it we found out we would have to have anullments. I had not talked to my ex in years and was not interested in getting in touch with him. (It was a VERY bad situation and my son had not seen him in several years either). We talked to 2 different priests and neither of them were concerned over it at all, they acted as if they didn’t want to really talk to us. We were never given ANY advice on what to do, so we stopped going to the classes and to Mass. We have since visited a couple of protestant churches, but knowing what we did about the Catholic church, it just wasn’t the same!! So we decided that we HAD to do this. My son’s older (in college now) and I’m ok with things knowing that my ex can’t pull something with my son now. So we started back attending Mass and have been for a couple of months. The priest there was transferred and we have a new one. We talked with him one Saturday after Mass and told him we wanted to join the church and would like to speak with him on some issues. He didn’t seem happy about it at all. I realize he’s busy, but this is getting ridiculous!! He told us, hesitantly, to call him and he would set up an appt. with us. I called, told the secretary it was concerning our annulment process and we’ve heard NOTHING!!! I know we’re not his only concern, but what’s the deal? I feel like at every turn we’re being snubbed. And no one seems to really care!!! At least I can go into a protestant church and feel welcomed and they’ll call you non-stop if you want them to. I just don’t understand. This is something we want soooo bad, but I don’t guess it’ll happen. And, the way I feel right now is - that if I can’t be a part of the true church, I’m not going anywhere!!!
I’m not meaning to be offensive to anyone, I just really needed to vent. I just don’t understand this!! Has anyone else ever had this kind of experience?
Tracie

No disrespect but why would you want to join a church that treats you that way? Is that how Christ would handle it. NO!!

Try exploring other protestant churches instead of giving up so easily.

 

[tracie001]

“Patience, grasshopper. Patience is a virtue.”

lol, 1ke. Thanks I needed that!! I am ready to beat the doors down because I KNOW the truth and I want to be a part of that!!! But, you’re right, I guess I do need to cut him (the priest) some slack. Like I said, I know we’re not his only concern at the moment. I will try to be more patient!! I knew if I came here to vent that I would get the encouragment that I needed!! Thank you all sooooo much!! I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this. I don’t really know any catholics (except you all ) and my family…well let’s just say they’re not going to try to convince me to keep on trying!!

Christy74 - Is an eastern catholic and an orthodox the same thing?? Never thought about that before.

Thanks so much everyone!!!
Tracie

 

[Sister_Amy]

Just out of sheer curiosity… why do you need to get the marriage annulled in the first place if you weren’t married in the Catholic Church? (Or were you?) I’m not Catholic, just wondering.

 

[jprioli]

No disrespect but why would you want to join a church that treats you that way? Is that how Christ would handle it. NO!!

Try exploring other protestant churches instead of giving up so easily.

Because she has found truth, and truth is worth some suffering.

This is not a cafeteria line. And it is not feel-good-ism.

The truth of the Catholic Faith is not in any way made less by the sometimes frightful human failings of her ministers. (I don’t hesitate to admit that some Catholic ministers are less than perfect, since I am a Catholic minister who is less than perfect!)

A friendly reception is important… give it a seven or an eight out of ten.

The Fullness of the Faith that Jesus intended us to have, a participation here and now in the very worship of heaven, a tangible connection to the very community of Faith that Jesus Christ founded… give this about a fifty-billion out of ten.

There is just no proportionality.

Regards,
Joe

 

[Eden]

Christy74 - Is an eastern catholic and an orthodox the same thing?? Never thought about that before.

Thanks so much everyone!!!
Tracie

Eastern Catholics are in union with the Pope and Eastern Orthodox are in schism, so it’s not the same thing, although there was a news item last month that stated Eastern Catholics may be soon granted “dual unity” with both the Eastern Catholic and Orthodox churches:

catholicism.about.com/b/2008/06/22/a-new-communion-for-catholics-and-orthodox.htm

I was very hopeful about this news, but it appears it was inaccurate:

catholicism.about.com/b/2008/07/07/no-dual-communion-after-all.htm

 

[tracie001]

No disrespect but why would you want to join a church that treats you that way? Is that how Christ would handle it. NO!!

Try exploring other protestant churches instead of giving up so easily.

NDfan,
No offense taken and I mean no disrespect to you either, but…I have been a protestant since I was 5 years old. A few years ago, I began studying church history and imagine my surprise when I realized the Catholic church was the first church!! But, that is how my journey began. This has not been a haste decision. I have continued my research, along with much prayer, on the church and I know that this is where I want to be and where I am supposed to be!! I can’t go back to a protestant church, personally, because I feel that I know the FULL truth now. And I want to be in full communion with the Catholic church!!!
I hope and pray my vent doesn’t hinder others from seeking the truth, I just had a moment and needed someone to talk to.
Tracie

 

[Christy74]

The Orthodox Church was not “recommended” by JPII.
Straight from the Vatican’s website: www.vatican.va is Pope JPII’s Encyclical Apostolic Letter: Orientale Lumen are a few quotes:
Section 1: “Since, in fact, we believe that the venerable and ancient tradition of the Eastern Churches is an integral part of the heritage of Christ’s Church, the first need for Catholics is to be familiar with that tradition, **so as to be nourished by it **and to encourage the process of unity in the best way possible for each.”
Section 5: “I listen to the Churches of the East, which I know are living interpreters of the treasure of tradition they preserve. In contemplating it, before my eyes appear elements of great significance for fuller and more thorough understanding of the Christian experience. These elements are capable of giving a more complete Christian response to the expectations of the men and women of today. Indeed, in comparison to any other culture, the Christian East has a unique and privileged role as the original setting where the Church was born. The Christian tradition of the East implies a way of accepting, understanding and living faith in the Lord Jesus.”
(my bolding). I could continue to quote more and more which all confirm my point that Pope John Paul II recommends to Roman Catholics the spirituality and faith of the Eastern Orthodox Churches. This encyclical of his also makes mention of the Uniate Churches where we who are Orthodox Christians are currently in full union with Rome. My Patriarch Gregorios III of the Melkite Greek Catholic Church is currently in union with the Pope.

The Catholic Church works fervently to end the schism and bring the Orthodox back into full communion.

You should know that the Roman Catholic Church teaches that Holy Day Obligations can be fulfilled by attending Divine Liturgy, Orthros or Vespers of an Orthodox Church and that Roman Catholics are allowed by the Church to receive the Most Holy Sacraments in an Orthodox Church (it is the Orthodox who, in most cases, do not allow this).

This is inaccurate. If the Orthodox do not teach the indissoluability of marriage, then they’ve gone from schism into heresy.

Orthodoxy currently follows, as did the Roman Catholic Church in the past (and currently, although via “annuments” now), the New Testament Teaching of Christ: “Matt. 19:3-9” Jesus, Himself, gives a reason divorce would be acceptable. Orthodoxy simply maintains that.

How on EARTH could you ever recommend such a reckless course of action to someone seeking the Truth of the Catholic Faith.

This is the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever seen posted.

The Orthodox are in schism. They lack the fullness of Truth. They lack unity with the Pope.

One of the Pope’s of the 20th Century lifted the Ex-Communication on the Eastern Orthodox Church.

You have a very dangerous, and highly inaccurate, understanding of the situation.

My suggestion would be to learn the history surrounding the Eastern Orthodox Churches and Rome’s current stance on the Churches and their Sacraments. Looks like you may be surprised at what you find out.

Blessing and Peace to you!

 

[tracie001]

Just out of sheer curiosity… why do you need to get the marriage annulled in the first place if you weren’t married in the Catholic Church? (Or were you?) I’m not Catholic, just wondering.

No, I wasn’t married in the Catholic church. I found this off another site about annullments.

The Catholic Church presumes that marriages are valid, binding spouses for life. When couples do separate and divorce, therefore, the Church examines in detail their marriage to determine if, right from the start, some essential element was missing in their relationship. If that fact has been established, it means the spouses did not have the kind of marital link that binds them together for life.

The Church then issues a declaration of nullity (an annulment) and both are free to marry again in the Catholic Church.

And if invalid you can take communion, if it’s not invalid you can’t take communion, but you can still be catholic. Right??
Hope that helps.
Tracie

 

[TriuneUnity]

NDfan,
No offense taken and I mean no disrespect to you either, but…I have been a protestant since I was 5 years old. A few years ago, I began studying church history and imagine my surprise when I realized the Catholic church was the first church!! But, that is how my journey began. This has not been a haste decision. I have continued my research, along with much prayer, on the church and I know that this is where I want to be and where I am supposed to be!! I can’t go back to a protestant church, personally, because I feel that I know the FULL truth now. And I want to be in full communion with the Catholic church!!!
I hope and pray my vent doesn’t hinder others from seeking the truth, I just had a moment and needed someone to talk to.
Tracie

Out of curiosity, Tracie; What tradition of Protestant were you raised and what traditions within Protestantism have you explored and looked at?

 

[tracie001]

Out of curiosity, Tracie; What tradition of Protestant were you raised and what traditions within Protestantism have you explored and looked at?

I was raised church of Christ and was a member until late 20’s. Then I went to a Baptist church for several years and finally Methodist. And, I have visited Church of God with friends and an Episcopal church. So, I’ve tried a lot of them!!
Tracie

 

[YADA]

My suggestion would be to learn the history surrounding the Eastern Orthodox Churches and Rome’s current stance on the Churches and their Sacraments. Looks like you may be surprised at what you find out.

Blessing and Peace to you!

I think your reference to JPII recommending the Orthodox Church was taken as *“JPII recommends that divorced and remarried persons seeking affiliation with the catholic church should instead seek the Orthodox Church instead” *

And of course JPII did not make any such recommendation … you are correct that JPII had a deep respect for the traditions of our seperated Orthodox brethren … but that is not the topic of the OP …

My dear OP, I was an inquirer who needed to obtain an annullment as a part of the process of entering the Church …

You do not need to personally have contact with your EX … you only need to porvide his contact information tot he diocese … they wil send and recieve the information directly to and from him.
If he lieves in another diocese, he may be able to request that the case be determine in the dioces where he resides … my EX was given that option [not being catholic - he did not care - though I have heard that his diocese was faster - so I guess that would not have been a bad thing - but alas it stayed in my diocese] …

You have probably only filled out the initial application …If the full annullment decision is the proper course then there is a questionaire that you will need to fill out … trust me if you have not seen one yet … it is long and very comprehensive … you will also be asked for two witnesses who will recieve the same or similar questionaire … like wise your Ex and his witnesses …

All of that written testimony is presented to the tribunal and you have an advocate, your EX has an advocate and your marriage gets it own advocate [called the defender of the bond] … they will make a determination …

It takes time … time for all parties to fill out the questionaire [and I suppose some Ex’s never do but they can’t stop the process], time for the tribunal to examine and digest the testimony and make a decision …

I will pray for you …

 

[TriuneUnity]

I was raised church of Christ and was a member until late 20’s. Then I went to a Baptist church for several years and finally Methodist. And, I have visited Church of God with friends and an Episcopal church. So, I’ve tried a lot of them!!
Tracie

You haven’t tried the orthodox visible church yet…We go by the humbly assigned name Lutheran

 

[Christy74]

Eastern Catholic and Eastern Orthodox are the one and the same Faith and Spiritual Tradition. The difference between Eastern Catholic and Eastern Orthodox are that the Eastern Catholics at some point in history came back into union with Rome for various political reasons…example our Patriarch is in full union with the Patriarch of Rome aka the Pope of Rome. Because he is in full union, so are we.

The Christian Church was started in the Middle East. As it spread across the world, each nation and nationality added to the traditions and rituals. The two heritages are the Eastern and the Western. The Eastern Christian churches include Greek Orthodox, Melkite, Coptic, Antiocian, Ethiopian Coptic, Russian Orthodox, Ruthenian, Ukrainian, etc. Some are independent, some are a part of the Catholic Church and some are Orthodox.

I am a Melkite Greek Catholic Christian. You can learn about it at our diocese website: www.melkite.org.

The other Eastern Rites of the Catholic Church are:
The Syrian
The Armenian
The Coptic
The Chaldean

A site you can visit to learn more about the Greek Orthodox Faith is: www.goarch.org.

The primary difference between the Churches, let’s say the Serbian Orthodox Church and the Greek Orthodox Church is the language and the countries they come from and a few traditions may vary slightly.

Best wishes in your situation. I will pray for you and your husband to come into one of the Historical Churches whichever one is right for the two of you in God’s Will and timing.

(P.S., Don’t worry, you are not alone in not knowing about the other part of the Catholic Church. There are many Roman Catholics who have no idea they even exist let alone what the Roman Catholic Church actually teaches about them - both those Churches are currently in union with Rome or not.)

 

[tracie001]

You haven’t tried the orthodox visible church yet…We go by the humbly assigned name Lutheran

I believe you are correct!! There’s one I haven’t been to!!
Tracie