J
jman507
Guest
Hi LexeeWell I spoke with my attorney, finally, he said that there were really no laws in the books about whether I was obligated or not to tell him about the baby’s condition…he said it was more of a moral issue. He also assured me that he really couldn’t go against my wishes when it came to the healthcare I would want my child to receive.
For instance, if he didn’t want her to be on a ventilator or something like that, if I want it then he can’t say no…it could turn into a battle though, but doctors shouldn’t heed to his wants, especially if they know this is a divorce situation.
He also mentioned that aside from the humanity part of this, it wouldn’t look good for his “fans” to find out that he denied his child healthcare…or that he wanted his child to die, very bad for his “family man” image.
So I’m feeling pretty comfortable about telling him knowing that he won’t be able to make decisions I don’t agree with unless he wants a court battle to ensue.
Now, for myself, I’m feeling pretty deflated. I had an appointment today and the doc went over the ultrasound results with me…apparently nothing has changed except that they noticed that the baby’s ribcage wasn’t the size they think it should be, which means that it can be a sign that it is not growing anymore, if that’s the case then there won’t be enough room for her lungs…which of course means that she won’t survive after birth.
I’m really hating the thought of giving birth, I feel as if the days are going by too fast…I don’t ever want that day to come!!! I find myself crying alot more often, I feel like I just need to give in and accept that my child isn’t going to make it…I’m losing hope, I doubt there will be any kind of miracle. My family isn’t helping either, they don’t want me to even talk about her not making it, they say I’m not giving her a chance. I feel like I need to be realistic and take care of things, I don’t want to be unprepared at the last minute heaven forbid the worst happens. But I also feel like this is killing me slowly, my marriage failed and now my child’s going to die…I don’t even want to think of what’s next for me. It seems like the more I’ve turned to God and prayer the worse things have gotten for me…I don’t understand. I don’t want to question God and I want to be able to accept His will, but this is so hard and I can’t help but feel like it’s some kind of punishment…I just can’t seem to see this as anything other than that.
Peace be with you. I think I would tell him, espcially if you knew that you have more say in the treatment, espcially given the state that he is in.
If it does you well then keep on posting here & make sure you are calling people in your area if you need help, cause I’m sure all this is very hard on you. As a matter I’m sure that anyone who could help you would see it as very much a blessing and a grace for them. I know you must be questioning God, I don’t think that is wrong, ask away, eventually he’ll give you the answers. Just don’t lose hope. I know it must be hard with the family not wanting to talk about if she doesn’t make it. I guess in reality she may make it or she might not. But what are the things we know. She has a mother that loves her and she is very much wanted. In fact there are quite a few here moved by her story and what can I say, we very much love her too, want her to make it, and are praying for her. But if she does not make it, I could only think that as we entrust her to the Lord, and if that so mean she ends up in heaven, she would certainly be praying for those who cared, and espcially for you. So if you feel sorrow, feel sorrow, if you feel joy feel joy. There is much to grieve and to celebrate. You certainly sound like a wonderful mother, and all these moments will be glorfying . Perhaps if you get a chance meditate on a rosery trying to sort out feelings and what this all means. But like I said its ok to feel deflated, and woman thats a wonderful mother would in that situation, but do not dispare in the Lord.
