Need your advice, what should I do?

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Jacob21

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Hello everyone, I’m not sure If this is the most appropriate place to post, so please feel free to move it. This post may be all over-the-place, so I apologize in advance. Also, please dont bash this person, I still greatly care about her, and love her.
I’ve posted about this before, I guess you could consider this an “update.” But its a seperate “question”, so its not like you have to know my other post to understand this one.

So basically, here’s my situation. I was with a girl, whom I loved, and still do love, very much. Toward the end of our relationship, I discovered that I was being cheated on. I didnt know the extent of this, and still dont. However just the other day some information surfaced, and it was worse than I thought. I wont go into detail, but I dont believe, to the best of my knowledge, anyway, that there was any sexual interaction; at least I pray there wasnt. After this she broke up with me, even though I forgave her, and told her I still loved her. Eventually, we “got back together.” It was more of like a yes we’re together, but I dont want to talk about it, or do anything about it thing. If that makes any sense. Well, during this time period, I learned that she cheated on me once again. I dont know what all happened with that, and I dont think I want to know. I was crushed, my heart was broken and torn to pieces. I couldnt believe that this was happening again. I’ve also been lied to alot, especially on that subject. Sometimes I think I’m too forgiving and loving, but I always say to myself that thats what I’m supposed to do, forgive and love. But I still forgave her, and wanted to be together. I dont know why, but I did. Well after that, we didnt get back together. She started going out with someone else, and for a while, we became very hostile toward each other.
Well, we honestly couldnt stay like this for long. We started talking again. I told her I stilled loved her, and she claimed she still loved me. She broke up with her new boyfriend recently, and we’ve been talking even more. However, I dont know what to do. Part of me says yes, if she wants to get back together then do so! But part of me says NO WAY! Don’t go back. Part of it is that I dont know If I could trust her. I know it sounds terrible, but its something that I honestly think would be a problem for me.
Also, this may sound terrible too, but I really dont like her friends. She started hanging out with a bad crowd, whom could be labeled “women, (and men even), of ill-repute.” I dont like how she acts around them, and how they act in general.
But the thing is, I still care about her. I dont want anything bad to happen to her, and I dont want her doing anything immoral, etc etc. I dont know what to do. Part of me says yes, get back together. But another part is saying no, dont. If you dont like how she acts now and the friends she has, what makes you think its going to be anything different if we get together? Also, another thing I feel I should mention, is that she is sick. She has breast cancer 😦 I believe its getting better, but I’m not sure. I’ve been praying for her everynight.

I apologize for this post being so long, and probably sounding so juvenille. I’ve been extremely down lately, and have offered it all up to Jesus. I’ve been praying so much, and am looking for some other opinions. So please, tell me what you think. I still love this girl very much, I just dont know if it will work out. But I dont want her to be sad, or do anything immoral. I’m so lost right now. I’m sorry my brothers and sisters in Christ. God Bless you for reading this long post,
Jacob :signofcross:
 
UPDATE

Just a quick update. God has answered my prayers, quite clearly. Thanks to all who read the rediculously long post lol.

Glory and Honor are Yours Almighty Father, Forever and Ever.

Jacob :signofcross:
 
I’m not sure you have a healthy relationship going on there.
 
Of course it is good to forgive, but it does not mean that you have to or should continue a relationship with her. You mention that she has “cheated” on you, and also that her friends are immoral.
That is not a foundation for a godly relationship.

Would you want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship like this? Pray for her from afar.
 
Thank you all for your advice. I will say that we have gotten back together, situations were not nearly as bad as I thought. I am very happy, I know that our Lord has answered my prayers. Not only this one, but many many others. Jesus I Trust In You!!! 😃
Jacob :signofcross:
 
Hi

well, I won’t rain on your parade too much…but I’ll just say this:

Just because we are to Love and Forgive, does NOT mean we are to be doormats. Remember that God wants the best for us too.

“Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as Lambs”

I’ll pray for you both 🙂

Peace

John
 
is this person someone who leads you closer to Christ when you are together, or is this someone whose presence poses a near occasion of sin. Is this the woman you want to be the mother of your children, to raise them with her values. And are her friends people you can stand to be around? Does she exhibit the basic virtues that are necessary for a good friendship, let alone a romantic relationship–honesty, integrity, self-giving, affection without expecting a return. Conversely are her leading traits, revealed by her actions, those that are inimical to friendship and love: dishonesty, selfishness, manipulation etc.

What are all the good aspects of her character, and of your relationship, that you can build on? Do they outweigh the negative? In your time together have you been an influence for good upon her, and seen positive change, or has it been the opposite.

lastly, examine your real motives behind your attraction to her (in private please not here).
 
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