In the OP’s case, however, her parents are Catholics. While she was not explicit, the fact that her parents originally expected her to marry in the Church implies that she was brought up as a Catholic. The fact that she is even having this discussion shows that she has knowledge of the Church’s position. It would be hard to claim invincible ignorance.
Your words, genuine and romantic do not fit the idea of a Marraige ceremony in your parents eyes. They don’t view your Marraige ceremony as genuine as it is outside the church and it fails to be a covenant between yourself, your future spouse and God. That you would desire it it be romantic is also not what the sacrament is about and it is probably not something that they will respond favorably to. My suggestion is to talk to them why you can not have the wedding in a Catholic church, perhaps after your meeting with their parish priest with his concurrence. Or in other words meet with the priest out of love for your parents and confirm that you can not get married in the church. While they will not agree with your decision, they may take some comfort in knowing in some way that you spoke to the priest and if the priest can speak to them afterwards, i’ll assume they’ll take comfort in whatever the priest may tell them. My sense is this is less about your Marraige ceremony and more about your lack of faith and your marrying someone with no faith. Address the latter first with your parents and the ceremony in some sense, is secondary.
I never said they cannot be ignorant. I said that sometimes (not all
Mortal sin requires grave matter, knowledge and consent. It isn’t just a knowledge of the concept of sin. It’s a knowledge that the act is wrong and that it seriously wrong.
I agree with this advice. I also noticed that you are just beginning the planning process and not getting married for another year. Give them that time to work through this. They may come around.
I may be misunderstanding you, but I hope you aren’t saying that you plan to say this to your parents. I, of course, don’t know you or your parents, but as a parent myself of a young adult, this would just throw gasoline on the fire, so to speak.
i didn’t get that out of what she wrote ,not even close.
I’m not sure where anyone got that the OP is looking ot have her parents pay for her wedding…just to be more open to their choice and their love. Since the “coming around to your way of thinking” seems to refer to something I originally said, I want to be clear that I am not saying I think they will come around to her way of thinking. Rather, I am hopeful that with some time, prayer, etc, they will wish to attend the wedding. That does not mean they agree with their atheism. As far as I know it is not against our faith to attend what would amount to a civil wedding, right? Civil marriages are recognized as real marriages, just not sacramental ones.
That’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I don’t expect my parents to pay for the wedding at all, nor am I trying to convert them. I just want to be able to better explain where I’m coming from when they ask (and they already have), “Why?” and do that in the nicest way possible. I already know they don’t agree, but they also raised me to respect opinions and beliefs different than my own. I’m really just looking for them to come to the wedding in support of me and my commitment to my fiance.
It seems you are stuck between a rock, a hard place and an atheistic place. The “rock” being the church found on St. Peter- the hard place being the protestant view and the …well - you get the picture.
Only if both of the participants have never been Catholic.
Can you provide a source for this and that it would be a sin to attend such marriage? Canon law?
Are you kidding me? She came here looking to get some advice from those of us who are Catholic and you berate and yelll at her? I’ll take a sincere request for help over some of the other threads on this forum. Besides, I think you took her post completely wrong.
These are the canons that show it is wrong to attempt such a marriage. To cooperate with sin is itself a sin. There is a matter of prudential judgement as to whether the sin is grave, especially for a family member. A person faced with this problem needs to seek the advice of his/her pastor or spiritual director.
Woah, charity. Just as the Pope points out that a prostitute using condoms can be the beginning of respect for their and other’s bodies, and so an improvement over the same activity without condoms, so we can see that two atheists, even though one is a lapsed Catholic, getting a civil marriage can be better than the alternative.