Negative experience with confession

  • Thread starter Thread starter AnnRob11
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
The Beatles said it perfectly…“and in the end, the love you get is equal to the love your give!” If you approached the sacrament with a contrite spirit and pure heart, and in the end the priest absolved you of your sins, all is well…just walk away, hold your head up, and in the words of St. Paul, “Rejoice in the Lord Always!”
 
Find another priest.

Confess only mortal sins next time by name of sin and number of times approximately that the sin was committed.

A priest saying mass at a sermon once said:
‘Not all priests are good confessors. If you have a priest who is a bad confessor, find another priest. Do not think that putting up with a bad confessor will do your soul any good.’

St Faustina and St Theresa of avila likewise experienced many bad confessors, priests who roared at them in the confessional, or who told them they were crazy/ that the devil was deluding them.
Once both saints found a good confessor priest, they were able to receive direction that Jesus wished to give them, from a priest who was good at hearing confessions.
 
Last edited:
I’m not offended, just noting that the use of “I” in the way I wrote it is normal.

The OP is free to try it your way too, I’m just saying that it should not be necessary.
 
I am sorry. If you didn’t tell him this was your first confession , it would have helped him understand where you are coming from. A friend of mine had a list 2 pages long and the priest said quite a list, but very beautiful. You do not have to confess venial sins at all but I understand you want very badly to do it right.
For the next year I would say I have been a Catholic for less than a year. You don’t have to go to the same priest. My best confessions have been when the priest gets tough with me. We are all different.
 
Catholics, don’t priests receive training on how to be good confessors, apart from the technical procedure?
 
PatK63 said:
You do not have to confess venial sins at all but I understand you want very badly to do it right.
Click to expand...
While it’s correct that you don’t have to confess venial sins, many of us don’t commit grave/possibly mortal sins on a regular basis, but we still need or want to go to confession regularly. One needs to confess at least one sin when one goes, so if all I have is venial sins, that’s what gets confessed.

There is nothing wrong with confessing venial sins, although a very long list is not necessary. I usually confess 2 or 3 venial sins.
 
One would assume and certainly hope so. But depending on when and where they went through seminary , they may not have. Also I think it may also be dealt with under personal development (can’t think of the right term for it), but was made aware that they do receive direction on how to deal with parishoners etc - I was told this by a seminarian this year.
 
I’m not doubting you, but I would find that very weird. I have confessed to probably 25 different priests in the past year because I travel and will just go to whatever priest is handy, so that I can make my usual 2 confessions per month, and none of them have ever objected to my confession format.
 
Last edited:
They receive training, and most priests do an okay-to-good job.

Priests have different strengths and they tend to develop individual confession styles. What works well for person A might not work for person B. Also, some priests are just more skilled at confession than others.

Priests also can have off days where they are impatient or nor feeling well or in a rush, and it shows in their confessional responses.
 
Agree with you @Limoncello4021. I even had one priest who was well into his 80s recently and he didn’t really understand what I was telling him. But it’s valid and I was honoured to have him minister to me. He really made it personal . What you must remember, @AnnRob11 is that confession is not there for God it’s there for you. The only way you can get it wrong is not being truly sorry and/or knowingly leaving things out . The priest is not perfect either but what it represents is you coming back with your whole self to a right rship with God.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I would find that very weird.
Click to expand...
So it can be. About a decade ago, I too used to not always state my sins “lied, rash judgement” etc etc, but then learnt to do it that way. Though since that time, I try to be brief, state the facts, only add details if this affects the gravity of the sin, and if not sure then to add that as well. And I’ve encountered elderly retired priests to a newly ordained parish appointed priest to all those inbetween.

Thank God for our priests and the sacraments He left us.
 
Some famous person once said: “Only the mediocre are always at their best.”
 
Last edited:
I would have ended the first confession and started a second confession about how I was talking about myself too much
 
I ‘rotate’ my confessors. Not only because that’s how I find myself able to do it but because I think it’s good practice and also it teaches me a lot. If I always go to Father A, he dismisses some of what I say but maybe I need to not worry about it. If I go to Father B, he will be very loving but he won’t tell me off a little which might be what I need . And so on.
 
Do you attend a traditionalist parish?

I am not comfortable just saying “lied” without context.
I prefer one sentence like “I lied to my mother about how late I was out”. Just saying “lied” could mean anything from perjury to embezzlement to telling your mom you went to the movies when you really went to the park.

In any event, if you are brief, priests in my experience don’t really care what “format” you tell your sins in.
 
Last edited:
That’s not necessary and we don’t want to confuse a new convert. She’s been thrown in at the deep end but her confession was valid provided she was sincere
 
AnnRob11 said:
As a new Catholic, this doesn’t sit well with me and my fiance is pretty upset. My fiance has told me to go to mass tonight and pray on it and then maybe find another priest to go to confession. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. God bless.
Click to expand...
I would make an appointment to speak with this priest outside of confession. Tell him you didn’t understand what he said. Maybe there’s something you’re missing. If not, then you could take your fiance’s advice about finding another priest for confession. But I would want to try to find out what he meant, first.
 
Others have already stated, but 1. This is an anonymous forum, and no identifying information has been given, 2. The responsibility of keeping confessions completely secret is the priest’s, not the confessors, he or she should and is able to tell anyone they want, and 3. He or she should go to another priest if he or she doesn’t like this one. You shouldn’t give so much leeway to priests, they are not angels on Earth. They are human like us and just as vulnerable to sin and personality flaws as we are.
 
Last edited:
I find I am quite general such as ‘I lied to make something easier for myself’ ‘I judged or bitched about colleagues’. I have no idea about numbers just usually say several times. And they have never picked me up on it. Just shows that as long as we are sincere they pick up on it. I often have a few tears. And I NEVER cry normally it’s so weird. They get me every time those guys haha 😂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top