Negative experience with confession

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No, I don’t.

Yes, it felt odd to phrase things that way too. I did mention that I add details that affected the gravity of the matter, e.g. I lied under oath compared to the ‘garden variety’ of lying when asked how many biscuits I’d eaten by a friend.

And yes as you point out, if still under the authority of a parent, telling this fact in the example you gave would affect the gravity, and so should be mentioned ie lied to my mom said I was at my friends instead I went to the movies, type of thing.
Tis_Bearself said:
if you are brief, priests in my experience don’t really care what “format” you tell your sins in.
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Agreed in general, but it’s not always the case as I know it.
 
There is a priest I confessed to last week who I recognized as one who says some things that confuse me in the confessional. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, and again, I was confused when I left.

After confessing my sins, he went into this 3 minute spiel about holiness and how some people try to be holy when they are really just pretending to be holy. I, of course, wondered if he meant I was being overly pious or pretending to be holy when I’m really not.

It doesn’t matter because in the end I was absolved of my sins. I still think of what he said. Maybe I needed to hear it and think about what it may mean. Kind of like analyzing a weird dream.
 
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Yes . This. Whatever they say to you is something you need. It might not be for right now but God is using them to speak to you . Jesus often spoke in parables in his time on Earth - our God doesn’t spell things out as he wants us to explore his word and follow him. There would be no following if it was all immediately obvious.
 
Well, a little communication goes a long way. It is pleasant to know that your confessor is someone you appreciate so much. 😶
 
GladTidings said:
After confessing my sins, he went into this 3 minute spiel about holiness and how some people try to be holy when they are really just pretending to be holy.
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I would have thought same as you. But I honestly think some of these guys just come up with a general thought that they share with almost everybody who walks in.

One of my “favorites” was the priest a couple years ago who did the whole confession, absolved me and then said, “Do you have any question you’d like to ask me?”
I said, “Am I supposed to ask a question?”
He said, “It’s just a free service I offer.”
I said, “Okay. I’ve been considering joining (name of online prayer group that is somewhat well known). Do you think I should?”
He said, “I have no idea.”
I said, “Thank you, Father” and left.

Maybe he was looking for questions like “Is Masturbation always a mortal sin?” Or “Is it okay to eat meat on Friday?” Who knows.
 
???

My reply which is reply #19 may explain. I have too on occassions, past and present, though as I’ve explained elsewhere, I am aware that there are some priests who prefer the phrasing to be different. Another example as related to me by another was being told in confession to say a proper/full act of contrition, instead of the more simpler formula. It can be a preference of some priests.
 
Reconciliatio et Paenitentia (December 2, 1984) | John Paul II. (will help to go to simplified to read if offered)

“For the effective performance of this ministry, the confessor must necessarily have human qualities of prudence, discretion, discernment and a firmness tempered by gentleness and kindness. He must likewise have a serious and careful preparation, not fragmentary but complete and harmonious, in the different branches of theology, pedagogy and psychology, in the methodology of dialogue and above all in a living and communicable knowledge of the word of God. But it is even more necessary that he should live an intense and genuine spiritual life. In order to lead others along the path of Christian perfection the minister of penance himself must first travel this path. More by actions than by long speeches he must give proof of real experience of lived prayer, the practice of the theological and moral virtues of the Gospel, faithful obedience to the will of God, love of the church and docility to her magisterium.”
 
Sincere regrets if I offended you.

http://w2.vatican.va/content/john-p...xh_02121984_reconciliatio-et-paenitentia.html
This is lengthy and I am no expert on the sacrament of reconciliation by no means as you have experienced. The true reconcilor is Christ as we all know. This link is from saint John Paul and after reading just s little…again apologize for the harshness you experienced from my words. Happy you have opened your heart to Christ our Savior and his Church.
 
Never been so challenger or instructed. But I steer clear of priest who I believe to be Pharisees.
 
It is disconcerting when so challenged. But I try to remain humble, and look at it as Christ speaking to me through the priest, especially if it helps me to grow spiritually. And as I sometimes have to battle pride (which can rear its ugly head when so challenged, I do my best to squelch any indignation I feel or the temptation to make a response or criticism that may come to my mind).

But that is just how I see matters and I am not implying anything else with regard to your post or anyone elses’.
 
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I am sorry you had a bad experience. I think most Catholics have had a bad experience with Confession. Just know, there are many wonderful,patient and kind confessors out there. The priest might have been not feeling well or having a bad day or something else. You don’t need to justify your sins. Pray for the priest. .
Divine3 said:
It isn’t a prudent or kind practice to tell others what was told to you in confession by a priest in a public forum. Unless he told you to go sin and then you need to tell someone in authority
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That is really harsh. No names or other details were mentioned, so it is fine for her to talk about.
 
I know what you mean. I would rather think they don’t do that sometimes. But, it reminds me of a cop I know who said sometimes its the blue minivans, and sometimes its the white ones. Out of all of the speeders, they can’t get all of them.

I believe it goes deeper than that. Hopefully, the Holy spirit is directing priests on a deeper level compared to those who are holding a radar gun.
 
I’ve been cut off or rushed by priests who were in a hurry and wanted to finish – they start giving you advice and then go right into the absolution prayer because they’re ready to move along and it catches you off guard. When you go to confession you’re saying you are sorry and you are absolved of ALL your sins, even the ones that you forget or when you’re finding yourself suddenly rushed out the door. But it’s not always bad. You’ll find some experiences in the confessional will be better than others.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
Also make sure your next priest knows you’re a new Catholic and have only been to confession once, so he can help you if you need help.
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This! 👍

Starting off with “I’m a new Catholic, and I’m new to confession. Can you help me walk through this?” should lead to a better result…
CRV said:
Saying “I” lied, “I” have been selfish etc etc. may be why he drew the conclusion of you being selfish, with his thinking being that you are focusing on the ‘self’.
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Umm… isn’t that what we’re supposed to do in confession – admit to what “I” have done that’s sinful? 🤔
meltzerboy2 said:
The priest is supposed to listen with a sympathetic ear and absolve you of your sins if you are sincerely penitent, certainly not judge you
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Umm… that’s precisely what Reconciliation is, @meltzerboy2! The priest confessor hears the confession and judges whether the penitent is, in fact, contrite! 😉
and call you something negative.
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As others have suggested, perhaps the OP heard it in a way that wasn’t intended. If it were along the lines of “you’ve been selfish; work on being charitable”, then that would be exactly what we might expect to hear in the confessional!
 
Be Brief
Be Bold
Be Gone

Often we spend way too much time on details in confession.

Name the sin and how often:

"It has been one week since my last confession

I lied 4 times

I had lustful thoughts daily

I doubted God once

I sinned against charity daily

For these and all my sins I am truly sorrowful…"

If Father wants details, he will ask.
 
Yes, I have been well repremanded by this congregation (by some that is) Since the topic is reconciliation, I have apologized to the offended and may it become as water under the bridge. Have a peaceful day.
 
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