Neighbor can't find meaning 7 years after wifes' death

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Dear CAF Family, we lost our 18 yr old 10 days ago. I told my neighbor(75yrs old) “a fallen away Catholic” that I was hurting real bad yesterday, that I had been crying. He responded by saying I’ve been crying for 7 years (over the loss of his wife) and ive taken a lot of classes i.e., meditation classes, and I still can find no meaning. CAF members from your hearts and from scripture what do I tell my neighbor regarding how to find the Holy Spirit?
 
Randy–my heart goes out to you. My wife and I lost our 18-year old son just over two years ago. Many people turn away from God in the face of tragedy. There is no doubt that the death of a loved one–especially a child–will force us to define our faith on our own hearts like we never had to before. I am not sure what you can tell the neighbor. It is ok to cry, of course; it is hard to not occasionally cry when thinking of a lost loved one. If we truly have faith in the life to come, and in God and His mercy, we have to believe that our loved ones are in God’s loving hands, and that we need not worry about them. God understands loss, having experienced the death of his only begotten Son. We all must pray, pray, pray, this is the only way to work through our grief in order to receive God’s strength to continue marching on to find the true meaning of life. Peace.
 
randybako said:
Dear CAF Family, we lost our 18 yr old 10 days ago. I told my neighbor(75yrs old) “a fallen away Catholic” that I was hurting real bad yesterday, that I had been crying. He responded by saying I’ve been crying for 7 years (over the loss of his wife) and ive taken a lot of classes i.e., meditation classes, and I still can find no meaning. CAF members from your hearts and from scripture what do I tell my neighbor regarding how to find the Holy Spirit?
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I would not contradict your neighbor. There is no meaning in death. In last Sunday’s Gospel, it said that Christ would conquer everything and the last would be death.

Death is senseless. It is the destruction of the body. It is parting away. It is despair and crying. It is going away forever. It is nothing but destruction.

Oh! After death there is ressurection. And your son is in heaven waiting for you. And you will be there with him one day.

And one day Christ will ressurrect our bodies and we will become like angels, with beautiful bodies.

Still, at the feet of the cross, Mary cried a lake of tears. Jesus suffered like no one else suffered in life. It was utterly senseless. Christ cried, “My God, why did you forget me?”, just think of the pain to make this Giant say this sentence.

Maybe your neigbor’s problem is to try to find a meaning where there is no meaning at all. It is an empty search.

Oh! But his wife is in heaven! But he is suffering! His suffering is a sign that He loved her. Still, little consolation. He suffers for his wife and he wants not to suffer but he has to suffer for he loves her.

To Love is to suffer. I did not suffer at all for the death of Gadhafi !!! I hated him.

So, I think your neigbor better understand that he has got to suffer for he loves his wife. 7 years is a little time for such a long love.

Delivery is necessary for giving birth to the newborn to a new life. Dangerous travel, sometimes mother of child are lost on the way. Death is necessary to go to another world. But at which cost !
 
Randy I am so very sorry for your loss my sincere condolences to you and your family.May God grant eternal life to your loved one and comfort you as you mourn that loss.
As regards your neighbour…Grief affects us all differently.Some people turn away from God and blame him, others turn to him.

I think you can be a witness to God by your actions.He will see how your faith is strong and comforts you as you mourn your loss.
Perhaps if you get into conversation you could mention that if it weren’t for your faith you are not sure how you would have coped etc.

When I lost my son I went through a period of doubt.We all deal with things in our own ways.I think just be a good friend/neighbour and be the example of faith for him to see.

In the meantime you are in my prayers.Have you thought about a prayer thread in the prayer intention forum?

May God bless you
 
no tbcrawford i have not, but i will look into it. thankyou. Randy
 
randybako said:
Dear CAF Family, we lost our 18 yr old 10 days ago. I told my neighbor(75yrs old) “a fallen away Catholic” that I was hurting real bad yesterday, that I had been crying. He responded by saying I’ve been crying for 7 years (over the loss of his wife) and ive taken a lot of classes i.e., meditation classes, and I still can find no meaning. CAF members from your hearts and from scripture what do I tell my neighbor regarding how to find the Holy Spirit?
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Title should reat neighbor cant find meaning in life 7 years after wifes death.
 
I have suffered the loss of family members and have had lifelong effects of these deaths.

May I suggest that our Christian faith teaches us about life and death, and that it gives us more meaning to life than anything.

I don’t want to rob anybody from their right to be inconsolable over the death of their loved one, whether spouse or child. BUT, look around the U.S. or the world. There’s a lot of death every day.

I heard one minister say that there are about 250,000 deaths every day in the world. We ought to be mature enough to accept the inevitability of death and not fall apart, as if we had NO IDEA that our loved ones would someday die, later or even sooner.

It it deeply, deeply painful to have to endure the suffering and death of a family member and loved one. But, our whole life is a preparation for eternity and in some sense we should be looking forward to that.

The Book of Revelation describes the martyrs as those who “did not love life so much as to shrink from death.”

We have American martyrs in uniform who are willing to give their life in service to the country. We have Catholic missionaries who brave a lot of dangers to spread the gospel around the world. They recognize a higher purpose and meaning.

One nurse I worked with years ago was brutally murdered during a robbery in her home. she called the police and said “I’m dying.” We should be ready to meet the Lord, because we know not the day or the hour.
 
randybako said:
Dear CAF Family, we lost our 18 yr old 10 days ago. I told my neighbor(75yrs old) “a fallen away Catholic” that I was hurting real bad yesterday, that I had been crying. He responded by saying I’ve been crying for 7 years (over the loss of his wife) and ive taken a lot of classes i.e., meditation classes, and I still can find no meaning. CAF members from your hearts and from scripture what do I tell my neighbor regarding how to find the Holy Spirit?
Click to expand...
Read Luke 11:5-13. When you receive the Holy Spirit, you will speak in tongues like the apostles on Pentecost.
 
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