Nephew being baptized

[Kelfa28]

So a bit of history from me.

My husband and I, as far as we can tell, are the only devote Catholics that exist in our family…this is despite the fact that everyone has been at least baptized Catholic and have received some, if not all of their sacraments. The only exception being my father, a baptized Methodist.

My MIL attends a non-denominational Church and everyone else subscribes to either agnostic/atheist beliefs or will identify themselves as “Catholic” without having set foot inside a Church since the last funeral within the family.

Its frustrating to say the least…and a little lonely at times…but we’ve settled into the roles of “weird religious people” comfortably and our family have accepted our devotion to our faith fairly well.

When I first converted and planned my first daughter’s baptism…my sister was genuinely hurt that she wasn’t asked to be a Godparent. I had to explain to her that a Godparent needed to practice the faith and she wouldn’t make a good choice due to her history of open hostility toward the Church and atheistic beliefs (that I had heard endlessly over the years).

She agreed with me and expressed that it would be hypocritical for her to baptize a child if she didn’t believe.

Cut to 2 years later…one son born 7 months ago (my only nephew) and receiving (out of nowhere) an invite to her son’s baptism into the Catholic Church this past monday.


Confusion and total bewilderment…not to mention anxiety…flooded me. I had no idea what to do or even think.

I was upset and taken aback as to how to handle this. I’m not going to lie and say that my first thought was to call her to complain and chastise her for being a total hypocrite and why in the world would she do this? How was she doing this? What kind of Parish would allow something like this?

Thank God for my husband who suggested I call and, even if I had to just act excited, inquire about their new found faith in Jesus and when they started attending Mass regularly. Also to open the door to questions for us…if they needed any help in learning more about the faith.

I thought that was the best idea and I called her. We chatted about other things first and then brought up the baptism.
I told her I was surprised that she had decided to baptism her son and she said “it never crossed her mind that they wouldn’t” and I also told her I was excited that she was going to attend Mass now and develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Dead silence on the end of the phone. I’m not kidding. I actually had to say “hello?” to get her to respond.

“Well, we wanted to try and be good and go to Church a little more often and make sure he got the right education.”

I told her that Jesus is the reason you are baptizing your son and he’ll only learn about the faith if his parent’s teach him about the faith and live the faith.

“I know what you’re going to say” was her response. Meaning, our parents had us baptized and literally taught us nothing about Jesus…let alone the Church.

I invited her over our house for dinner and to watch the Catholicism series (at least the first episode or so).
She said “oh boy…” but thanked me and expressed an interest to come over for dinner.

I have no idea where their sincerity lies and I’m afraid that they will be marking their son as Catholic without any thought or reason as to why they are doing so.

I have no idea who the Godparents are. I would have thought my husband and I would be a good choice…since we are the only ones who could be a legit sponsor…but we weren’t asked and I’m guessing that their must be someone obscure on my BIL’s side of the family that practices or the Priest doesn’t really care.

I already talked to my Priest about what I should do. He told me that I can go to the baptism with a clear conscious and I should go…even if I am the only one who is a practicing Catholic.

If you’ve made it this far…thanks for reading. What would you do? Anyone have experience with something like this?

I’ve read a lot about how practicing Catholics should approach irregular marriages in the family but nothing about a baptism from parents that aren’t sincere.

Also…any advice on specific prayers for conversion would help. I pray for them daily…but I feel the need to step up my game…so to speak…and start a novena but I’m not sure where to start.

Both my husband and my mother (despite my mother definitely not being a practicing Catholic) have said I may have already planted a seed without knowing it. It’s hard to be optimistic but I know things take time.

Any other advice about evangelizing without scaring them off would be helpful. Plus, advice on a baptism gift is welcome!
Thank-you.

 

[PaulfromIowa]

You should view this as a great joy. She has obviously backed off what you call “her open hostility toward the Church and atheistic beliefs.” Don’t feel the need to judge her, it is not your place. She probably does see you as judging her and will be resistant to you. It would be good to introduce her and her family to other practicing Catholics.

 

[Phemie]

You never know what will happen and you can only pray for the best.

A few weeks ago I prepared a couple for baptism. They are unmarried, he’s not Catholic and I hadn’t known that she was Catholic because, AFAIK, she’d never set foot in our church, the only one in town, until that day and she’s lived here for 3 years. She admitted, when all parents were asked why they were requesting Baptism, that she was doing it “because Dad will disown me if I don’t.”

The godfather seemed more interested in the classes than she was and he seemed to be taking it seriously – not what I usually see from godparents who in most cases don’t meet the requirement that they be ‘in good standing’ but we won’t go there.

Fast forward to the week after the Baptism. She is a teacher on maternity leave and brought her son to the school where she teaches. She was in conversation with my friend who had bluntly told her, right after the first preparation session, that presenting a child for baptism had some serious responsibility attached to it which she didn’t seem prepared to assume.

My friend said, “I was happy to be there for B’s baptism and glad to be a reader at that Mass. I’m only sorry that we won’t be seeing him in church again.”

“That’s how much you know. The Godfather and I have had a long conversation and he’s really going to help me and make sure that we bring him to church. It probably won’t be every week but we are going to make an effort to bring him fairly often.”

The godfather chimed in, “There’s a lot of responsibility to being a godfather and I plan to meet the commitments I made when I stood at the font.”

It remains to be see what will happen but it’s pretty much guaranteed that the child would never be in church if we’d refused to baptize him.

 

[Avila123]

Sadly it is all too common that people want their children baptised into the Catholic faith to either get them into the right schools or because it is just a tradition. As a previous Poster said, at least it gets them into the church building and opens the door for them. Besides, she is giving her son the priceless gift of baptism into the one true Church. Okay, not for the right reasons maybe, but at least he may learn about his faith at school. Plus his parents will have to go to a few masses during his lifetime.

Rejoice and look for a suitable gift to mark the celebration. You know, the sort of thing that is nice enough for her to put on the shelf in her son’s room to mark the occasion but not too in your face otherwise she may ditch it or hide from him. Um, maybe not a crucifix but perhaps something engraved which has the details of his baptism (plus a discrete cross). It will be a permanent reminder for him and God-willing could be something that helps him draw closer to the faith when he needs it (even if it is in his adulthood). Oh and do take tons of pictures (makes a good talking point when he is older).