Nervous about a confession

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Silyosha

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I’m planning on confessing at a parish close to where I live. It’s a convenient distance away, about as far away as my school. The problem is, it’s a very “progressive” parish, which my usual parish is not, and the confession there is the sort without a confessional…you sit at a table with the priest. I’m very nervous about this. If anyone has ever done a confession like that before, how is it?
 
We don’t sit at a table, but our Confession can be done face-to-face, which is always my choice anyway. I am a convert, so was never used to a confessional, which might explain my preference. As long as you approach with a sincere heart, I don’t see where it should matter. It seems to me that it is more important what you bring to Confession than how it is heard.

I don’t know if you have any particular reason for going to Confession elsewhere. If you are that uncomfortable, why not go to your own priest for Confession, even if you have to call the rectory to schedule a time for it outside the regular times your priest hears Confession?

God bless.
 
Sending my prayers your way. I bet you will find that your nervousness in comparison to how it all goes will seem more than it needed to be.

Im going today too…Looking “forward” to it in the sense that Lent is soon upon us. I like entering both Advent and Lent with the attitude of penance 🙂 Sort of like taking a nice hot shower before going to do something special. You know? 🙂
 
Marie 5890 When I grew up thousands of years ago,well would you believe some years:D confession was always behind the sreen-so I could not see the shock on his face eek:from hearing of my sins(well St.Paul says that if you want to boast,well boast of your sins–at least I hope he said something like that!! At the age of twenty four I used to get spiritual advise from a holy and wise priest at his place of residence.Whilst there I went to him for confession,so it was in this form as you describe.This priest died a few years back-now I go to a parish that still has a confessional arrangement with the option of face to face or behind the screen.I normally like the screen where I kneel,I had the grace to go today to a wonderful holy Indian priest,gave me a short penance which my sins deserve-wearing a hair shirt for a year and one hundred rosaries! I told you that I am a sinner!

Once or twice I go to my own parish,there the priest sits in a “crying room” open to the world,at least with my sins he is in the right place to cry for my sins,since I do not! I sort of have to make an extra act of faith going to him,remembering that it is Christ that forgives me through the priest.Why–well he is rather trendy,wears secular clothes and HATES:eek: when I add a past forgiven sin–says I should forget about them–well by the grace of God I have not killed anyone lately,or robbed a chemist or blown up a bank (though a priest told me to do the "stations"as well-which I did blow up! I know an old joke,sorry!) so I tell my venial sins and tell him some past mortal ones(just to annoy him-and then I have a good one to tell next time, for uncharitableness to a man of the cloth) Still it is better to go to him rather than not at all-I am sure he means well)

Lord,santify your priests and sacred ministers.

Makes you appreciate good ,holy and wise orthodox priests when you g
have to endure open slather!(the Church prefers to give the people of God a choice,open sesame only by personal choice)

God Bless.May The Mother of Mercy,grant you a good and holy confession (St.Leopold Mandic,St.John Mary Vianney,St.Padre Pio also–just in case you are nervous about telling him about your seven husbands and the last one which you killed !
 
I always feel nervous or anxious when I go to confesion every month. But the Holy Spirit keeps gently nudging me until I go in there. I normally go face to face. Not once have I been told that I am too bad too many sins or that I am doing it all wrong. No priest ever said, “get out of here if you don’t know how to do it”. Yesterday I totally forgot the Act of Contrition, couldn’t get it out, couldn’t remember a thing. He gently told me to say it from the heart. The important part is when he says those wonderful words "…I absolve you… What Grace, Amazing! :extrahappy:
 
I have done face-to-face too! And the ironic thing is that this is when I confessed my very worst sin.

Ask God for the grace to push you through it, and help you to realize how important it is for you to go to confession 🙂
 
I always go face-to-face. I like the conversational nature, and the priest is always very kind. A confession is a confession is a confession, regardless of whether it’s done face-to-face or behind the screen. Blessings.
 
Call the parish and ask to arrange for an anonymous confession. It is against the law of the Church to force you to go face to face.
 
kage_ar said:
Call the parish and ask to arrange for an anonymous confession. It is against the law of the Church to force you to go face to face.
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I take it from Silyosha’s post that they are not being “forced” to do a face-to-face confession. It just happens to be the style that the parish of where they are going to does it. It’s not Silyosha’s normal parish.
 
Marie5890 said:
I take it from Silyosha’s post that they are not being “forced” to do a face-to-face confession. It just happens to be the style that the parish of where they are going to does it. It’s not Silyosha’s normal parish.
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If they will not permit an anon confession, then, they force face to face. Check the Church documents, they cannot do that. They must make the option available.
 
I was making a kind of “emergency confession” once where it was to be done at the same time as a meeting with a priest.

He simply put on his doo-dad that goes around his neck (I really can’t remember the name of it…sorry, if someone else knows, post! hehe) and we did it right there in his office. It was really non-confrontational and very laid-back.

If the idea makes you really uncomfortable though, I am sure you could call the parish and ask if there is a way to do anonymous confession. I am sure they have a way to accomidate that. They may not have the equipment on hand because most of the parishoners there prefer face to face, but I am very certain they can accomidate you.
 
Haha its called a stole 😉 I have always preferred going to confession in this manner! Don’t be nervous, go with an open mind and a willingness to find God’s mercy. As previously mentioned a confession is a confession no matter where it is said. One of my most interesting confessions was right after mass. I asked father if he would hear my confession and he just pulled a stole out of his pocket right there in the middle of the church with people still walking out around us. It was nerve-wracking but I didn’t care because I just wanted to be forgiven so badly it didn’t make a difference if he heard it there or in a confessional.
 
Some priests aren’t comfortable with face to face confession either. A former pastor of mine was an introvert. The room had a screen that you could walk around to get to a chair to sit in. He always put a gigantic crucifix on the seat of the chair resting against the back. I bet nobody ever had the nerve to try to move it. I sure never did.
 
I returned to the church after a 20 year absence - almost a year ago. At the suggestion of a friend I reluctantly made an appointment with a priest at the parish near where I live. We met in his office and I made my confession at that time. I was more nervous that I have ever been for any appointment in my life. However, Father could not have been any kinder and I left with a good feeling - was a very positive experience. I had never been to face-to-face confession before as not what I grew up with. I have gone to confession several times since and I do prefer behind the screen in a confessional.

Is this your first confession or first confession in a long time? If so, I would recommend making an appointment and give face-to-face a try. Also, you can go to any parish for confession and look for one that offers confession times in the church confessionals. As others have said, one should always have the option.
 
Thank you, everyone, for your replies. You have made me feel a lot better. I don’t think I’ll ever prefer face-to-face confession, but now that I’ve read these replies, it doesn’t seem quite so nerve-wracking.
God bless you all,
Silyosha
 
Claire_from_DE said:
Some priests aren’t comfortable with face to face confession either. A former pastor of mine was an introvert. The room had a screen that you could walk around to get to a chair to sit in. He always put a gigantic crucifix on the seat of the chair resting against the back. I bet nobody ever had the nerve to try to move it. I sure never did.
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Had to say, the mental image of that made me smile. 🙂 Maybe it was the way it was typed.
 
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