Nervous about Confession?

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Rocky24

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Hi everyone,
I will be going to confession soon (I haven’t been in years) and I’m feeling a bit nervous because I don’t know the responses. I’ve tried looking up the Rite of Confession but every single site had something different. I’m in Australia so maybe the responses are different?
 
I’ve been to confession three times since August and each time either the priest asked me if I was familiar with Confession or I told him myself that I did not have a lot of experience with it yet (I confessed with three different priests). I am sure if you tell your priest he will understand and guide you through the process.
 
Hi Rocky24,

It couldn’t be better time to go to confession than this. Lent is a special time of grace, Holy Spirit gives a special graces to all who want to come back to Him.

If you have any question feel free to share them here - or if you want, don’t hesitate to ask trough a private message.

My first advice is - make a good examination of conscience that will really help you to prepare to confession in a right way.

I’ll pray for you
:signofcross:
 
Greetings,

I was nervous when making my first confession in several years. A couple things from a handout on confession I recently read and these experiences:
  1. Make a good examination of conscience before you go. This could include reflecting on the 10 commandments as well as the 7 deadly sins (as one example) and thinking about whether you engaged in acts that are sinful. There are some good questions several places on the internet.
  2. Learn and/or write down an Act of Contrition. This isn’t necessary, but helps me to be more confident as some (not all) priests may just ask you to “say your act of contrition” after you have confessed. When I first went, I said that I forgot, and my confessor coached me through it. However, I feel more comfortable having memorized a simple one. Basically, most Acts of contrition do the following: express sorrow, asks God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit for help, pledges to do penance, pledges to avoid situations that may lead to sin. So don’t worry about the specific words if you are not comfortable memorizing. For example, in my last confession, not remembering the specific prayer I tried to memorize, I just said, “Lord, I’m sorry for offending You with my sins. With Your help, I will do penance, do better to sin no more, and avoid situations that may lead me into sin. Amen.”
  3. Remember that God loves us! Listened to a great talk by Mother Angelica on the radio. I’ll summarize: Our sins are like a teardrop in an ocean. The ocean is God’s love and mercy for us. No matter how much we cry (sin), we will never exhaust God’s love and mercy for us.
Hope this helps!

God bless,
Bryan
 
I get so nervous when I go to confession I forget pretty much everything including both the prayers and all of my sins 🙂

I print out everything (including my sins) and use it to help me when I go.
It is almost a ritual for me to then destroy the piece of paper afterwards as a sign of moving forward.
 
Rocky24 said:
Hi everyone,
I will be going to confession soon (I haven’t been in years) and I’m feeling a bit nervous because I don’t know the responses. I’ve tried looking up the Rite of Confession but every single site had something different. I’m in Australia so maybe the responses are different?
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The first confession is always the hardest, and the following confessions gradually become easier. Don’t worry about the responses too much. The responses used in one English-speaking country are valid in every other, regardless of whether there are cultural preferences or differences, which, for the most part, there aren’t. And if at any point you forget, the priest will help you out.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”

“My last good confession was x years ago.” You can say, “I’d appreciate a little help because I haven’t done this for so long,” but if you haven’t been to confession for a while, it is a given.

“I have sinned/offended God through/by…” and list all the sins, mortal ones especially, that you remember. It is good practice to list the gravest or the most embarrassing ones first; once you do, the rest should go smoothly. Never conceal anything, even if tempted to do so by pride. This verbalisation of one’s misdeeds can be very difficult, but it is like a sword that cuts through one’s pride, and it helps cultivate the virtue of humility. If you haven’t been for a long time, remember that it’s normal to have a long list to confess.

“These are the sins that I can remember, and I am sorry for them and all my sins.”

The priest will then typically give you counsel and may ask you to say an Act of Contrition. If you don’t know one or forget to bring one with you, sometimes there will be one printed on a piece of paper in the confessional, or the priest may ask you to repeat it after him.

The priest will then set a penance and offer you absolution. At this point, all your sins, the ones you remember and the ones you have forgotten, are forgiven. You become sinless and pure. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Is 1:18) Remember to do your penance as soon as you can.

You can then thank the priest. If you haven’t been to confession for a while, it may have been nerve-wracking and you may well have the feeling of adrenaline rushing through your veins, but you are completely forgiven, born anew with a clean slate like a child, and you can smile in the knowledge that you are at peace with God and are free to receive His Sacred Body and Blood in the Eucharist.

God bless you, Rocky, and good luck 😉
 
Rocky24 said:
Hi everyone,
I will be going to confession soon (I haven’t been in years) and I’m feeling a bit nervous because I don’t know the responses. I’ve tried looking up the Rite of Confession but every single site had something different. I’m in Australia so maybe the responses are different?
Click to expand...
You can tell the priest. But here you open (as you do the sign of the Cross) with “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been x time since my last confession.” And then you start to confess. You can then say “I truly regret these sins and all the sins of my past life.” Something to that effect. He will absolve you and ask you to say the Act of Contrition.

At the end you say the Act of Contrition. If you need help, the Father will say it as you repeat it.

You can ask for a general confession (not general absolution, that’s different). In that case, the Fr. guides you through the commandments by asking you questions. This is a private confession where the priest helps you recall the sins by leading you instead of you leading. Since you have not been in years, for some sins the number of times will not matter and can be assumed by “many” since it’s been years. Of course, some sins comitted you may know the number of times and some you will not be able to recall. The priest understands. The general confession is usually used where the amount of time has been years and knowing an exact number of times cannot be recalled with accuracy, but can be assumed by the amount of time.

Remember, this is not the type of general confession that is done with a group that gives a temporary general absolution and the people may have an opportunity to approach the priest. This is private confession, only with the priest doing the guiding of the getting to the sins that need to be confessed.

I did mine after many years last year. It will be fine if if the words are not perfect. I stumbled over the Act of Contrition. You can print out a copy and bring it with you.

God Bless.
 
When nervous:
  1. Priest have heard all the sins before and hears them often. He’s probably bored.
  2. Priest tend to forget your sins soon after. God provides this grace.
  3. Satan tempts you to be nervous so you don’t go.
  4. Going monthly (as Medjugorje recommends) makes confession a breeze and joyful!
  5. Still nervous? Go to a different parish priest and go privately (behind the veil).
God Bless,

James
 
Everyone gave great advice so far - but I was in your shoes recently, so I know how scary it was! I almost turned my car around several times before getting there, and the only reason I didn’t run out is because I could not ever imagine running out of church. Hhaha 🙂 I was terrified and very meek during my Confession, but the priest understood that it had been a very long time for me, and he absolutely amazing in response. As it turns out, I had gone to the “strictest” (as in most traditional and formal) priest we have in our town, and if I could survive how scary it was, you can too! God loves you, and will gladly welcome you back.
 
I agree that some very good advice has been given. Rocky24, I know exactly how you are feeling. The last time I went to Confession, though, the priest was very kind and helped me along with what to say and even helped me with the Act of Contrition. But now I am the same situation: haven’t been to Confession in a number of years. Like other folks have said, there are plenty of sites on the Internet which will help not only with an examination of conscience but also with the “format”. Really, it hasn’t changed all that much since I was a kid (and that was pre-Vatican II!) except for the Act of Contrition and for that, the priest will take any “version” old or new. Somebody else mentioned writing down your sins. I plan to do just that, also. When I did that examination, I couldn’t believe some of the things that I began to remember, that I had never confessed. And, yeah, I am having a lot of anxiety but I try to remember what Jesus told St. Faustina about going to Confession: “Were a soul like a decaying corpse, so that from a human standpoint, there would be no hope of restoration and everything would already be lost, it is not so with God. The miracle of Divine Mercy restores that soul in full. In the Tribunal of Mercy (the great sacrament of Confession) …the greatest miracles take place and are incessantly repeated." (Diary 1448)

Ask Our Lady for help preparing for the sacrament. May the Holy Spirit be with you, also.
 
I hadn’t been to confession for almost 40 years and was nervous. I had thought about going several time in recent years but never did. Then one Saturday afternoon I made up my mind and went. I remember thinking as I grabbed the handle on the front door of the Church that I was finally going to do it.

Of course after that long I couldn’t remember everything much less the number of times I had done them so I gave a general statement that I had done X numerous times and Y many times and so on.

It has been almost 2 years and since then I have gone to confession a few times.

Here the Act of Contrition is on the wall separating the penitent from the Priest. I didn’t need it I did remember that much from my CCD classes. Funny how I never forgot how to go to confession.
 
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