Never do THIS to your wife!

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ridesawhitehors

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I work at home and when I am finished with my work I do chores and play around the farm. Hubby is gone all day working. So today in mid afternoon I had just moved some hay, did some gardening, and rode one of our colts. I was grimy and sweaty and decided to hop in the shower and have plenty of time to cook dinner before hubby comes home.
As I turned off the shower I grabbed my towel hanging over the shower curtain rod. Pushed back the curtain and went to wipe off my face. When I looked up to see a large hand slowly - wrapping - itself - around - the - bathroom - door - and - slowly - pushing - it - open! :bigyikes: The only sound you could hear was me SHREEKING in a blood curdling fear. In an instant my husband poked his head around looking very stupid and surprised as I yelled at him at the top of my voice…“DON’T EVER DO THAT!!!” :mad:
He had come home early and I didn’t hear him come in, and he was just going to tell me he was home. I told him next time just yell across the house or slam a door.
It would have been funnier - if I hadn’t just last month been granted a restraining order on a man who was harrassing/stalking me!
But I did get to test out the emergency scream system. Wow, it works really good. 🙂
 
The restraining order thing puts it into a different light, not funny then.

I’ve scared my wife like that, I’ve even tried banging a door on the way in. The banging door didn’t help, it still scared the daylights out of her.
 
I learned early on about scaring people, luckily without having to learn on my own. This was in high school, about 1975-1977.

There was a pathologist I hung around with, because we had a photographic darkroom set up in his office, which was the morgue of a hospital. We kept our photographic chemicals in the refrigerator on a shelf about as high as the top of the door. I met him when I was a hospital volunteer and somebody introduced us as both photographers.

Anyway, it was a small refrigerator which only had two carts and you never knew if they were empty or not unless you looked, because they have a false top.

Bob was young, age 34, and wealthy, running several dozen funeral homes plus his hospital job. He was good natured and liked by all. He was always kidding around with nursing students, who would have to come and witness an autopsy as part of their assigned class work I guess.

One day Bob went too far. He knew a nursing student was coming to get a biological test kit off the shelf in the refrigerator, so he hid in the tray of one of the carts, and as the student reached up after the test kit, Bob reached out from the cart and grasped her leg.

The girl dropped to the floor, and Bob picked her up and put her on the “post” table where he revived her. They decided it was best to keep it quiet, as they both had apparently indulged in pranks before then. 😉

That was one trick Bob never played again.

Alan
 
this same scenario happened in Portage County Ohio about 10 years ago, a husband came home late at night and crept into the dark bedroom, his wife woke up and shot him dead. Not funny, there was a trial and she was exonerated.
 
People startle me constantly. I’ve always got so much going on, thinking 3 or 4 steps ahead that I’m not fully aware of what’s going on. Hubby has scared me to death more than once----while I was showering a few times:D
 
Only last week I crept up on my wife and clapped my hands behind her back loudly. She jumped and shouted and sure of course I thought it was great gas until she reminded me and my shoulder (ouch) that she is 4 months pregnant :o
 
Never happen in our house. We have a Pomeranian alarm system that barks its doggy brains out whenever my husband comes home. The “dad is home” bark pattern is so different from any other that I always know who’s coming up the driveway. If it were any other bark pattern, THEN I would have a fit!
 
My husband is a 2nd degree black belt and I have taken several intensive classes in women’s self-defense.

We do not sneak up on each other and the rest of the family has learned (some rather painfully) that it’s best to announce their presence loudly and preferably out of arms’ length!

BlueRose
 
I hate sudden, loud noises. Can’t get used to them.

Same way with movies that try to be scary by jolting with sudden abusive audio power spike.

For example, the only “horror” film I’ve seen in years. How lame. The Village. Big deal. Save your money. A little ugly scene here and there and scary suspense so if you’re into that, OK. Kind of an interesting premise of an isolated civilization. That’s it. You may as well have seen it now.

Last night I walked out on the front porch and froze for a second when an explosion shot out and reverberated between my building and the one across – so it was hard to tell where the sound came from. I guess I was a bit jumpy because two weeks ago, there was a double murder in the building next door, about 20 feet from the bedroom window of two of my children. As I came in my wife came from the bedroom, “did you hear that?” (My wife, son, and son’s girlfriend heard screams connected with the murder then but I didn’t.)

Anyway she said, “firecracker?”

Said I, “firecracker.”

Whew.

Five minutes later I went back out on the porch for a few seconds, and blam! – then a couple seconds later blammity blammity blam balm etc. as a whole roll shot off. I figure that’s what I get for hating sudden noises; a test. I never figured out which direction they were coming from.

If you want to see The Village for the horror, save some money by using a couple firecrackers.

Alan
 
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puzzleannie:
this same scenario happened in Portage County Ohio about 10 years ago, a husband came home late at night and crept into the dark bedroom, his wife woke up and shot him dead. Not funny, there was a trial and she was exonerated.
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Oh my!!! How sad.
 
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puzzleannie:
this same scenario happened in Portage County Ohio about 10 years ago, a husband came home late at night and crept into the dark bedroom, his wife woke up and shot him dead. Not funny, there was a trial and she was exonerated.
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Which is why one NEVER keeps a loaded gun near the bed. You are never together enough in the first 10 seconds or so of awakening to judge right and you may do just like this poor woman did.

One night my beloved awoke and decided to get some water or something and I don’t know what I was dreaming but I half consciously percieved a shadowed threat there and fired off three punches…two to the kidney and one behind her ear before I was even fully awake. (I’m a black belt). It wasn’t funny then but we sort of laugh at it now and it just points up the way humans are built.

It hasn’t happened again…and I didn’t know she knew words like that. :eek: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Pax vobiscum,
 
I’m very skiddish and my husband thinks it’s funny…loves to creep up on me and scare me…:bigyikes:

Maybe it was funny when I was younger…but I could have a heart attack at my age!!!:eek: 😉
 
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Annunciata:
I’m very skiddish and my husband thinks it’s funny…loves to creep up on me and scare me…:bigyikes:

Maybe it was funny when I was younger…but I could have a heart attack at my age!!!:eek: 😉
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My siblings do this to me all the time, and since I have a hearing problem and cannot hear them making them even more successful, they thing it is the best thing ever! UGH
 
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Fashina86:
My siblings do this to me all the time, and since I have a hearing problem and cannot hear them making them even more successful, they thing it is the best thing ever! UGH
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That is something I don’t think I would allow. To me this is close to tickling in that if it goes to far it can be detrimental. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but I’ve outgrown any enjoyment for that sort of thing.

Alan
 
Oh, my! I did almost exactly the same thing to my wife almost 20 years ago right after we got married. We were living in a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment at the time. She usually used the guest bathroom in the morning because there wasn’t much counter space in our bathroom and she needed (and still needs!) a lot of space for her curlers, hair spray, etc. Anyway, she was busy doing her hair and makeup and I thought I would be funny and see if she would notice if I snuck up on her. I crept to the door and she didn’t see me, so I just wrapped my arm through the door. That she saw. About 10 minutes later after she stopped crying hysterically, she let me know that I probably shouldn’t do that any more because it wasn’t funny and, besides, she would kill me if I did it again. Hasn’t happened since.😃

Peace

Tim
 
My wife and I have learned to “warn” each other. 🙂

She tends to not hear me, because according to her, I move too quietly and all of a sudden “appear” in places I shouldn’t be, and I have scared the daylights out of her before. So I tend to yell, “I’m coming into the room, honey!”, or “I’m right behind you—don’t freak!”

In my case, after eight years in the military, I have a low tolerance for loud, explosive noises. If something goes “bang!” in close proximity to me, I tend to go into immediate “combat mode”. So if she has to slam a cabinet door or drop a bag of ice on the floor to loosen it up, she will yell “Noise!” first, so I know something’s coming.

I remember once about five years ago…it was August, hotter than blazes, about 2 in the morning. All the windows were open, when an electrical transformer about 1/4 of a mile away blew because of the heat overload. It has a remarkable similarity to the sound of a 155-mm howitzer firing.

Anyway, according to Mommy, I snarled a hideous profanity, rolled out of the bed and onto the floor, then up to the window in a crouch, all in one quick movement. She whispered, “What’s the matter?”, in a frightened tone, and I barked back, “Shut up! Get down!”

I don’t remember that part. What I do remember was coming to, crouched in front of the window, using language best avoided in polite company, and frantically scrabbling with my right arm across the surface of the bed for an M-16 that just wasn’t there, for some reason. 🙂 When I woke up a little bit more, I paused, looked around, and said, “Where am I?”

Mommy said, tentatively, “You were in bed.” I said, “What happened?” She said, “I don’t know. All of a sudden you went completely spastic and yelled, ‘Here we go!’ and ended up in front of the window, cussing and swearing.” I said, “Well, didn’t you hear that?” She said, "Hear what?"

Apparently she never even heard the transformer blow. I don’t know how she could have slept through it—it was loud enough to wake me up. 🙂

A day or so later, I overheard her talking on the phone to her sister, saying “You’re still single—let me give you some advice. Don’t ever marry an ex-military man!” 🙂
 
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AlanFromWichita:
That is something I don’t think I would allow. To me this is close to tickling in that if it goes to far it can be detrimental. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but I’ve outgrown any enjoyment for that sort of thing.

Alan
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:yup: I agree… what is detrimental about tickling? I am very ticklish…and they will stop if I ask them…
 
My husband tried to avoid me freaking out a few months ago. I was taking a shower and I thought I heard a noise, I was about to call the cops. It turned out he was home early and didn’t want to disturb me so he was in the kitchen making food, and then in the living room reading the mail.

I know what is bad about tickling!!!
With a month and a half to go before our child is born, my husband sneaks up behind me and tickles me as I am running (okay waddling) to the bathroom. I almost smacked him that day just out of surprise.
Kat
 
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Fashina86:
My siblings do this to me all the time, and since I have a hearing problem and cannot hear them making them even more successful, they thing it is the best thing ever! UGH
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Don’t worry, I’ll never scare you in the shower…😃 I promise!

Eamon
 
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