Never going to make it to heaven

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AnneTeresa

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I just read through another thread about mortal sin and am left thinking I’ll never make it to heaven. So in the example in the other thread, a guy chooses to play golf instead of going to Mass on Sunday, dies, and goes to hell for making that selfish decision.

Is it just me, or doesn’t everybody make selfish decisions every single day? For example (these are just examples, but I have done them at one time or another). Your alarm clock goes off, you are exhausted so you push the snooze alarm. Three times. Knowing it will annoy your spouse because he doesn’t have to get up. Then the dog scratches the door and instead of getting up to keep him from bugging your spouse, you tell him to be quiet and snuggle deeper into the covers knowing your spouse will have to get up to let the dog out.

You get to work and find your employee has decided to not come into the office until January 7th (today is Dec 26) and has just sent you an email saying so. You get irritated and vent to a colleague about the employee’s irresponsibility. At the same time you tell them how frustrated you are because you have found numerous errors in this employees work over the last month and they are just incompetent. For a split second before you talk about this, you think “I shouldn’t talk about employees to others” but you do it anyway because you are so frustrated.

You are bored at work and you decide to check your personal email. Before you do so, you think, I really shouldn’t do this at work, but you do it anyway because after all, you are bored and it will only take a few minutes and you’ll do your work later.

A colleague comes in your office when you are listening to some funny joke online someone emailed to you. The colleague asks what you are doing and you lie and say you are working on X project. Right before you lied, you had a split second where you didn’t know what to say so you just chose to lie.

I could go on and on. Now, my question is… are you all perfect? Because I’m not and never will be. I mean hopefully in time I will overcome my sins with God’s help. But I doubt I’ll ever live a day without doing some kind of dumb thing or making a choice to do the wrong thing. So according to what some people say here, I am going straight to hell if I die before confession. I made a choice in each case and acted in the wrong way, broke a commandment or acted selfishly.

I don’t know. I find this all very confusing and disturbing. Where is the mercy of God over our humanness? We all fail every day. Without Christ, we would have not hope whatsoever. I’ve heard priests say that I am moving in the right direction and that’s what matters. But reading here, you’d think that the catholic church teaches that we are all going to hell. So am I really a much worse sinner than all of you, or do you also do these things every day and feel bad but just keep trying because what else can you do?
 
AnneTeresa said:
I just read through another thread about mortal sin and am left thinking I’ll never make it to heaven. So in the example in the other thread, a guy chooses to play golf instead of going to Mass on Sunday, dies, and goes to hell for making that selfish decision.

Is it just me, or doesn’t everybody make selfish decisions every single day? For example (these are just examples, but I have done them at one time or another). Your alarm clock goes off, you are exhausted so you push the snooze alarm. Three times. Knowing it will annoy your spouse because he doesn’t have to get up. Then the dog scratches the door and instead of getting up to keep him from bugging your spouse, you tell him to be quiet and snuggle deeper into the covers knowing your spouse will have to get up to let the dog out.

You get to work and find your employee has decided to not come into the office until January 7th (today is Dec 26) and has just sent you an email saying so. You get irritated and vent to a colleague about the employee’s irresponsibility. At the same time you tell them how frustrated you are because you have found numerous errors in this employees work over the last month and they are just incompetent. For a split second before you talk about this, you think “I shouldn’t talk about employees to others” but you do it anyway because you are so frustrated.

You are bored at work and you decide to check your personal email. Before you do so, you think, I really shouldn’t do this at work, but you do it anyway because after all, you are bored and it will only take a few minutes and you’ll do your work later.

A colleague comes in your office when you are listening to some funny joke online someone emailed to you. The colleague asks what you are doing and you lie and say you are working on X project. Right before you lied, you had a split second where you didn’t know what to say so you just chose to lie.

I could go on and on. Now, my question is… are you all perfect? Because I’m not and never will be. I mean hopefully in time I will overcome my sins with God’s help. But I doubt I’ll ever live a day without doing some kind of dumb thing or making a choice to do the wrong thing. So according to what some people say here, I am going straight to hell if I die before confession. I made a choice in each case and acted in the wrong way, broke a commandment or acted selfishly.

I don’t know. I find this all very confusing and disturbing. Where is the mercy of God over our humanness? We all fail every day. Without Christ, we would have not hope whatsoever. I’ve heard priests say that I am moving in the right direction and that’s what matters. But reading here, you’d think that the catholic church teaches that we are all going to hell. So am I really a much worse sinner than all of you, or do you also do these things every day and feel bad but just keep trying because what else can you do?
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To start, you are not a worse sinner than me. So that’s at least one person you are better than.

Your priest is giving you good advice in that you have to keep moving forward. This is very important. Improvements demonstrate that we are actually trying to remove sin from our lives, and this is necessary and commendable. Continue with the improvements!

The Church teaches God’s unfailing, abundant, and eternal mercy. She does not teach that “everyone is going to hell”. Now, a part of that mercy is that we can get to confession, virtually any time of any day if we just call a parish priest and ask for an appointment or make sure to find out when the next confession time is. So if one commits mortal sin and then dies without getting to confession, he or she goes to hell. But not every selfish decision is a sin, let alone a mortal one. So lettting your spouse get up to let the dog out is just a part of human nature. You want sleep. No grave matter. He or she was going to have to get up at some point anyway, right? However, gossip and calumny are both grave matter and need to be confessed if the other two criteria for mortal sin are present.

But there is no room to say that God is “unfair” because of the consequences of our own action. We are told that missing Mass is grave matter and so it is a mortal sin now that we have the knowledge. We know that defamaning someone else and talking about them behind their backs is grave matter and so that too is mortal sin after we know it is wrong.

We choose sin. God doesn’t force us to sin. We can, alternatively, choose not to sin.

Have hope that you will make it to heaven. Afterall, God wants you there so bad he died so you could have a fighting chance.
 
AnneTeresa said:
I don’t know. I find this all very confusing and disturbing. Where is the mercy of God over our humanness? We all fail every day. Without Christ, we would have not hope whatsoever. I’ve heard priests say that I am moving in the right direction and that’s what matters. But reading here, you’d think that the catholic church teaches that we are all going to hell. So am I really a much worse sinner than all of you, or do you also do these things every day and feel bad but just keep trying because what else can you do?
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First of all, most of the things you list are venial, not mortal; remember, mortal sin must involve grave matter.
Secondly, don’t you think you should listen to priests over anonymous posters on the internet? Just a thought.
 
Go to confession regularly. It helps you not keep committing these kinds of sins. Also, go to adoration as frequently as possible. And when you are in Mass, look up at the crucifix and see Jesus up there for YOUR petty little sins. Say the rosary often too.

These are not mortal sins, but the effect on your life can be devastating over time.
 
Most of the point of Christianity is learning you can’t be righteous enough to be worthy of heaven. Those who think they are are really quite rare for there is a heavy dislike for anyone so “self righteous” in our society. Though many that are not church goers try to claim the church goers are in order to say they are better.

Please, stay out of this mind set. Be as good as you can be. Make strides to improve, but all ways repent and confess the constant shortcomings of our human tendency to continue to sin. There is some guilt to be felt we all need it to realize our faults, but don’t let it overtake you. Confession is there to lighten the load. Use it.
 
Romans 7: 15 (ff) is great to read when you feel this way.
Peace in Christ.
Mary.
 
Ok, I needed to hear these are venial sins. The way I read/interpreted the other thread on missing mass and mortal sin threw me into this confusion. Personally, I’m not so sure God will send someone to hell for missing Mass on Sunday because of a momentary wrong decision based on selfishness. I just needed to get some clarity. Thanks to everyone who posted.

I will try to make it to confession more often as these “little” sins can really weigh you down in time if you are trying to overcome and keep failing. I kind of hate going, but oh well.

Also to whoever said I should listen to my priest instead of the Internet, this all arose because of what I read here. I’ve never discussed it with a priest. It was just a response to another thread and this is the best place to talk about it. I have a large parish and very busy priest, unlike many on here who post. So there’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need. Of course we then can decide what to listen to or not. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it sounded rather accusatory.
 
AnneTeresa said:
Ok, I needed to hear these are venial sins. The way I read/interpreted the other thread on missing mass and mortal sin threw me into this confusion. Personally, I’m not so sure God will send someone to hell for missing Mass on Sunday because of a momentary wrong decision based on selfishness. I just needed to get some clarity. Thanks to everyone who posted.

I will try to make it to confession more often as these “little” sins can really weigh you down in time if you are trying to overcome and keep failing. I kind of hate going, but oh well.

Also to whoever said I should listen to my priest instead of the Internet, this all arose because of what I read here. I’ve never discussed it with a priest. It was just a response to another thread and this is the best place to talk about it. I have a large parish and very busy priest, unlike many on here who post. So there’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need. Of course we then can decide what to listen to or not. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it sounded rather accusatory.
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STOP!!! Missing Mass is a mortal sin. You go to hell for it, unless you are literally physically incapable of attending. You are Catholic and should know this.

I REPEAT…MISSING MASS IS A MORTAL SIN THAT RENDERS ONE INCAPABLE OF ENTERING HEAVEN IF HE OR SHE DIES BEFORE GOING TO CONFESSION!
 
KLJM12 said:
STOP!!! Missing Mass is a mortal sin. You go to hell for it, unless you are literally physically incapable of attending. You are Catholic and should know this.

I REPEAT…MISSING MASS IS A MORTAL SIN THAT RENDERS ONE INCAPABLE OF ENTERING HEAVEN IF HE OR SHE DIES BEFORE GOING TO CONFESSION!
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Well, it depends. It is still “objective” mortal sin. But that’s not what my thread was about. So I’m clearer now and I’ll let it go at that.
 
It is not necessarily the “selfishness” that is the key there --but the missing Mass. Selfishness can often be a venial sin (I did not read all the examples above…but note that venial sins are very different from mortal (grave) sins (grave and serious sin= mortal sin) . (Though of course let us seek to avoid venial sins too)

Catechism:

2181 The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor.119 Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin. scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c1a3.htm#II

Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI

212. In what does hell consist?

1033-1035
1056-1057

Hell consists in the eternal damnation of those who die in mortal sin through their own free choice…

395. When does one commit a mortal sin?

1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.

396. When does one commit a venial sin?

1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html
 
AnneTeresa said:
Well, it depends. It is still “objective” mortal sin. But that’s not what my thread was about. So I’m clearer now and I’ll let it go at that.
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It doesn’t depend. Missing Mass without serious reason is ALWAYS a mortal sin. Period. And regardless of whether or not it was the point of your thread, you stated that you were glad to hear that missing Mass was not a mortal sin so I corrected your false statement so that no one caught a glimpse of what you said and believed for ONE SECOND that they could skip Mass without grave reason.

But thank you for addressing my comment.
 
I think we have a Baptist in the room. “yer all gonna Hell, ever last damwunnaya!”

Any way, missing mass is not good, and all efforts should be made to get to mass and take communion as often as possible.

You will note that you will often get rather conflicting notions from many Christians from both liberal and conservative viewpoints.

Take Paul’s words for it and be at peace “That if you shall confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved.”

I would stress though that to become a better Christian takes some effort and that includes going to mass. Also, Purgatory is not pleasant, you want to do as little time there as possible, and being a slacker will get you LOTS of time in the fires of Purgatory.
 
KLJM12 said:
It doesn’t depend. Missing Mass without serious reason is ALWAYS a mortal sin. Period. And regardless of whether or not it was the point of your thread, you stated that you were glad to hear that missing Mass was not a mortal sin so I corrected your false statement so that no one caught a glimpse of what you said and believed for ONE SECOND that they could skip Mass without grave reason.

But thank you for addressing my comment.
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Wow. 🤷
 
AnneTeresa said:
. So am I really a much worse sinner than all of you, or do you also do these things every day and feel bad but just keep trying because what else can you do?
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Stop pushing the snooze button. Don’t gossip.

Confess all of this.

Getting to Heaven takes work and part of that is making choices for God every single day. Not making big donations to charity, but making the God-choice every single day in as many things as you can.

Life is a binary system: every day you make a lot of choices and a most of them come down to: God or not-God.

Luke 16:10:
The person who is trustworthy in very small matters is also trustworthy in great ones; and the person who is dishonest in very small matters is also dishonest in great ones.
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Jesus died for you. Get up and let the dog out.
 
Bookcat said:
It is not necessarily the “selfishness” that is the key there --but the missing Mass. Selfishness can often be a venial sin (I did not read all the examples above…but note that venial sins are very different from mortal (grave) sins (grave and serious sin= mortal sin) . (Though of course let us seek to avoid venial sins too)

Catechism:

2181 The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this reason** the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on days of obligation**, unless excused for a serious reason (for example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own pastor.119 Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a grave sin. scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c1a3.htm#II

Compendium issued by Pope Benedict XVI

212. In what does hell consist?

1033-1035
1056-1057

Hell consists in the eternal damnation of those who die in mortal sin through their own free choice…

395. When does one commit a mortal sin?

1855-1861
1874

One commits a mortal sin when there are simultaneously present: grave matter, full knowledge, and deliberate consent. This sin destroys charity in us, deprives us of sanctifying grace, and, if unrepented, leads us to the eternal death of hell. It can be forgiven in the ordinary way by means of the sacraments of Baptism and of Penance or Reconciliation.

396. When does one commit a venial sin?

1862-1864
1875

One commits a venial sin, which is essentially different from a mortal sin, when the matter involved is less serious or, even if it is grave, when full knowledge or complete consent are absent. Venial sin does not break the covenant with God but it weakens charity and manifests a disordered affection for created goods. It impedes the progress of a soul in the exercise of the virtues and in the practice of moral good. It merits temporal punishment which purifies.

vatican.va/archive/compendium_ccc/documents/archive_2005_compendium-ccc_en.html
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see above
 
KLJM12 said:
STOP!!! Missing Mass is a mortal sin. You go to hell for it, unless you are literally physically incapable of attending. You are Catholic and should know this.

I REPEAT…MISSING MASS IS A MORTAL SIN THAT RENDERS ONE INCAPABLE OF ENTERING HEAVEN IF HE OR SHE DIES BEFORE GOING TO CONFESSION!
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Yes, missing Sunday Mass without sufficient cause is a mortal sin and deserving of hell, but I take comfort in these words of Jesus to St. Gertrude:
Code: 
 "When I behold any soul in agony who has thought of me with pleasure, or who has performed any works deserving of reward, I appear to that soul at the moment of death with a countenance so full of love and mercy, that the soul repents from its inmost depths for having offended Me, and that soul is saved by this repentance."
Let’s not be in too big a hurry to commit someone’s soul to hell.
 
Waiting said:
Yes, missing Sunday Mass without sufficient cause is a mortal sin and deserving of hell, but I take comfort in these words of Jesus to St. Gertrude:
Code: 
 "When I behold any soul in agony who has thought of me with pleasure, or who has performed any works deserving of reward, I appear to that soul at the moment of death with a countenance so full of love and mercy, that the soul repents from its inmost depths for having offended Me, and that soul is saved by this repentance."
Let’s not be in too big a hurry to commit someone’s soul to hell.
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No one committed anyone’s soul to hell. I simply made a factual statement in response to a false statement by someone else.
 
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