Never want to go to work

  • Thread starter Thread starter mansr27
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

mansr27

Guest
My wife and I just had a new baby, my fourth. I feel like I missed so much of the other three working on my career and just don’t ever want to leave the house again. I want to spend every minute with my wife and family, and don’t see anything I do at work as being meaningful enough to take me away from them. It is especially hard now that my wife is staying at home for the baby, and my kids are home on summer break.

I am an IT Executive in an investment bank in NYC, and the truth is, if I have to work(which I do) this might be the best job I could possible hope for, except for the long commute(1.5 hours each way). I often felt that if I can find a way to support my family, I would spend all my time with my kids, and be more involved in Church. It is a dream of mine to study for the diaconate.

Today I thought of Saint Therese of Lisieux. Perhaps this is my suffering for my family and a good thing and I should thank God for the great job I have, and that I have a family that is so wonderful that I don’t ever want to leave them.

What a case of the Mondays!😦
 
I just spent the last 2 weeks in and near the Colorado Rockies. Now tomorrow I have to go back to work. I understand a little of how you feel. If I had my way, I would leave my house with just a few things and lose myself in the Rockies and their environs.
Kathy
 
I know how you feel! I would love to be able to devote all my time to my family! But I have to tell myself that my working is a part of my devotion to them, and enables us to have those good times we love so much.

:o
 
Ditto. When my wife had our first child five months ago, I thought it would be painful drudgery caring for him while waiting for him to join the human race (i.e. when he learns to speak.) That couldn’t be farther from this new reality. I spend a disgusting number of hours just starting at him. He looks at me, I look at him. We laugh, even though we have no idea what the other one is saying.

I hate my job. I love the little moving business I do on the side, and I’m giving serious thought to doing it full-time, but with the soul-sucking day job comes certain benefits like health care and “stability,” such as it is.

I forgot my point, but it’s something along the lines of “working for a living sucks, but we have to do it or everybody dies.” Work hard, and most importantly, work SMART, and you may be able to escape the rat race, but you still have to do SOMETHING. It’s just the way the world works.
 
Don’t quench those dreams and feelings. I know my dad woke up 20 years later with deep regret for not being more involved in our lives. It was horribly painful for him. And it’s not like he was never around…it was more a lack of emotional connection (if you ask me). Find creative ways to make your family time as meaningful as possible. I’m sure you’re already doing this.
 
Once school begins, my work schedule is such that I’m home pretty much when they are…I arrive home around 5:30-ish, and my kids with their clubs and sports, are picked up around that time, too. I was a stay at home mom, for a while, but I know how you feel. I read something very enlightening about this a few years ago though–and it helped my husband and me better view our roles in the corporate world, as servants for God and others. Just like at home, God calls some of us to other vocations, as well…and having a grateful attitude towards God providing you and your family with work, can be consecrated in the form of a prayer during your work day. I pray before going to work–that God helps me to be a good servant, for Him and others…and that I may plant good seeds for the kingdom today.

But if you’re heading out for work on a Monday…they sometimes stink–I know!😛

I think it’s awesome that you don’t want to leave your family…but, look at your job as a way of devoting yourself to God, by serving Him and others, so you can also provide for your family. It is just a subtle change in mindset, really. God bless!
 
Changing the midset is key, but so hard. For my older children I didn’t appreciate this time as an infant and they are huge now. Time flies.

I work near St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I used to go to Mass during lunch. Maybe I should go before work to put me in the right mindset.
 
A father’s an important thing. But no one seems to be able to exactly describe how and why.

With mothers it’s much more clear.

Follow your gut on this one. Find something else to do closer to home. Move out of NY. Wisconsin’s nice (I say this because sometimes people who don’t get out much don’t appreciate how much various parts of the country can be just as nice as their own.)
 
Mansr27,

I hear you; I too am an IT executive as well, not in NY but in a large city. I as well commute 1.15 hours to work and work long hours. There is a website call (I am sure you know of it) called slash. dot that had an article about IT management issues and lost of family time. I suggest, plan an exit strategy. Save money, invest and talk with you wife about want kind of life the two of you want for your family, and then execute. I can’t say I have executed my plan perfectly, but we have a family goal.

Keep your head up

Maybe this job is a stepping stone to another that will give you the time you want for your family. Maybe working for a bank you can transfer to another branch that gives you more time, I don’t know. Things Change fast, as you know all to well in the IT world. Maybe a new job, someone you meet or etc….

Prayer during my commute helps me……

one last thing, do you have the option to work from home one day a week ? I suggest Wednesday, and it helps. Two days commuting 120 miles a day and then a mid week break, helps alot.
 
we had an employee a few years ago who actually quit and went on welfare for a period of time because as his kids entered middle school and teen years he felt the need to be with them more. He eventually found something with hours and demands that allowed him more family time, but don’t know what long term effect the poverty years had on the family.

among my daughter’s friends are several families where both spouses work and most of the at-home time and hands-on child care is done by the dad, if not shared equally by both parents. you make the arrangement that works best with your family w/o regard for comments of friends, relations or mothers-in-law.
 
mansr27 said:
My wife and I just had a new baby, my fourth. I feel like I missed so much of the other three working on my career and just don’t ever want to leave the house again. I want to spend every minute with my wife and family, and don’t see anything I do at work as being meaningful enough to take me away from them. It is especially hard now that my wife is staying at home for the baby, and my kids are home on summer break.

I am an IT Executive in an investment bank in NYC, and the truth is, if I have to work(which I do) this might be the best job I could possible hope for, except for the long commute(1.5 hours each way). I often felt that if I can find a way to support my family, I would spend all my time with my kids, and be more involved in Church. It is a dream of mine to study for the diaconate.

Today I thought of Saint Therese of Lisieux. Perhaps this is my suffering for my family and a good thing and I should thank God for the great job I have, and that I have a family that is so wonderful that I don’t ever want to leave them.

What a case of the Mondays!😦
Click to expand...
You have given me a good reminder to cherish my DH a bit more. Thank you.

Working parents are giving their children more than just security and money. You are given them the example of a strong spouse, willing to take on responsibility. Your baby will grow into an adult and have you as an example of what to be. A hard working man who provided for his family, sacraficing himself to serve those who need him.

Just as the apostles were told by Jesus to serve, we too are called to serve. Jesus showed us by washing the feet of others, that we must do the job of serving, no matter how dirty or disgusting. It is our calling, our way of loving.

Teach your children why you work, make the most of the time you have with them. Let them know your hard work was for their benefit, by allowing them to see how you wish to be with them. Hopefully your wife will help remind your kids of the gift you give by working.

I think my kids and I will plan a special meal for our WOHF (working out of the home father)…just because we cherish him and what he does for us. ❤️

Thank you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top