Neverending story part 1

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youngsterat16

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The year was 2017, the date being the 11th of September. It was a Monday, but it was the opposite of a friendly Monday. It was an unfriendly Monday. And on this unfriendly Monday…
 
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… Harry was particularly stressed, because his house had been broken into. Nothing had been stolen, except …
 
nothing was missing. At least, nothing that could be seen at first glance, but he didn’t check the
 
off-set tile in bathroom downstairs, which- when popped off- contained a hole the size of a large grapefruit, just large enough to stick your hand through. And inside of that hole held …
 
Harry’s life savings. He had finally decided to take that wonderful trip to Rome. He had dreamed about this. But wait. The bag of his savings weighed…differently.
 
… It was heavier then before. When he opened the bag, he saw no life savings. The money was gone. Instead, Harry saw …
 
… at least 400 thin, delicate gold tiles, each bearing a common English word and its translation into a tongue he did not understand. This would definitely pay for his trip to Rome.
 
He took pictures of the gold tiles with his old -fashioned Polaroid and uploaded them to craig’s list because he didn’t trust pawn shops. Then he decided to take them down because he kept getting weird emails of interest attached with pictures of Morgan Freeman’s head on top of cats.

He decided to do some research on these gold tiles. When he typed it in the search bar however…
 
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… the lights went out. The electric power was out. His laptop still glowed but the network connection was lost. Then he heard…
 
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…the distant meowing of many cats that resolved itself into words without being words.
Eat the tiles, Harry. Consume the words. Only through ingestion shall you comprehend. Only then shall …
 
Harry woke up and found that he wasn’t able to move. Opening his eyes he saw that something fell on top of him. He tried shifting around the debris, but he wasn’t able to get a view of the heavy object that was on him. It was on top of his leg, which he was unable to feel. He laid there for a moment to process what was going on. He managed to get a look at his watch. To his surprise, it read…
 
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…May 19, 2213.
Harry cried out in astonishment and was answered by a gruff bass voice. “Coming, Master!” A shape appeared, moving toward him from the right. It was…
 
Zaccheus15h
…May 19, 2213.
Harry cried out in astonishment and was answered by a gruff bass voice. “Coming, Master!” A shape appeared, moving toward him from the right. It was…

the ghost of Jim Morrison and his girlfriend Pamela Courson and they were carrying a large, ugly looking…
 
coffin. Jim Morrison and Pamela set it down. They seemed to shimmer in the light, or was that just Harry’s head convulsing with the surprise. Jim opened the coffin, smiled and looked at Harry. “Are you ready for your trip?” he asked softly.
 
… Harry was speechless. He could neither move nor panic. They apparently took that as affirmation. They removed the debris, gently piked him up and laid him into the coffin. Then they took the lid and …
 
affixing front and back wheels, fastened it to the bottom of the coffin, thus inventing the first coffinmobile. Rolling it out with Harry inside, they took it to the steepest hill in San Francisco and with a final shove sent it careening down the pavement at a dizzying speed of …
 
492 microns per second.

Two years later, Harry finally made it to the bottom of the hill and realized he was kinda hungry.
 
He went scavenging in a nearby forest that he knew held delicious berries. As he got deeper in the forest, something grabbed at his ankle, and he tumbled down, whacking his head into an unconscious slumber.

…

“Eat the tiles, Harry. Consume the words. Only through ingestion shall you comprehend. Only then shall your mind be open.”

Harry realized he was at his house, but felt very strange.
What was that??

Finally taking note of his surroundings, he realized that those gold tiles had moved, and stacked neatly on the toilet lid. That’s when he noticed the pair of glowing eyes. It was a cat.
 
And not just any cat, but Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead, reincarnated as a tom cat. Curled in the corner Garcia looked at Harry with a pair of blazing orange eyes and said…
 
… "now you should finally eat the gold tiles. Consume the words. Only through ingestion shall you comprehend. Only then shall your mind be open.”

Harry did not understand, was he some sort of Joseph Smith? After three weird promptings to do so he consumed the gold tiles. I don’t know how. He felt weird. All around him he saw …
 
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