Neverending story part 1

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[Editor’s Note: Here the story becomes hard to follow, due to the introduction of three new accounts of the events – namely, that of his wife, his cousin, and his ex-sister – many of the details of which contradict one another. Until further notice, the events of the story are mostly conjecture.]
 
Bartholo1d
… "now you should finally eat the gold tiles. Consume the words. Only through ingestion shall you comprehend. Only then shall your mind be open.”

Harry did not understand, was he some sort of Joseph Smith? After three weird promptings to do so he consumed the gold tiles. I don’t know how. He felt weird. All around him he saw …"

Elvis, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jackie Wilson,Lou Rawls, Bobby Hatfield, Johnny Maestro, Jim Morrison, John Lennon, Sam Cooke, and Marvin Gaye, backed up by B.B.King, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Kurt Cobain, and Curtis Mayfield all dressed in spandex bicycle shorts and spaghetti strap tee shirts (Joplin looked radiant in hers) and singing a rousing rendition of…
 
YMCA!!! … Harry stood motionless; mesmerized as the legends of his youth enthusiastically contorted their bodies to form the letters he only now recalled seeing on one of the tiles. YMCA? What could it mean? Desperately, Harry tried to think of what to do next, as their movements became more and more frantic. When suddenly …
 
they all turned into onerous green elves. As if on a sugar high, they all start frolicking around in a strange fashion, still signing YMCA. One of them suddenly held a cake-like pastry, or what looked of it. He approached Harry and held out the cake right in front of his face. Dangling it with this crazed look on his face. Harry…
 
mistook it for a pinata and grabbing a nearby baseball bat took a swing at it and missed. Frustrated, Harry took a second swing and again missed. A wild eyed look of frustration lit up his eyes as he readied himself for one more swing. With a mighty swing of the bat, he connected with the “pinata” and sent of shower of …
 
… grapes raining down on the kitchen floor.

Harry wasn’t too pleased with this. It’s rather hard to clean up grapes when they’ve scattered all over your floor, because you have to be careful not to slip on them or (worse) step on one and splatter the juice all over, making everything even more slippery. You kinda have to use your foot as a makeshift broom and push them over to the side of the room, then get your actual broom (and mop, if you did a klutz and stepped on one) and throw them all away.

Not to mention grapes are expensive.

But back to the point.
 
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