New baby and new degree for hubby

[journey137]

DH has received a possible offer (will find out for sure in about two weeks) to go to grad school and get his masters with a company paying him a little over $1800 per month for two years. He’d be starting his program about the same time our first baby is due (January) so I won’t be able to work. This is an offer he can’t refuse because the only reason he didn’t go to grad school was because of money.

He would like to have some advice from people that have been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale of babies during grad school.

I’d like some advice for how to make a little extra money around the house (that pay is plenty for our bills with a little left over to save, but add tuition on top and it isn’t quite enough), and how to make a tiny one bedroom apartment work for two years. Most especially baby items/ideas that help conserve space would be nice. This is our first so we may be wrong, but we were only planning on getting some nursing clothes for me, a car seat, a stroller, some baby clothes, blankets, a boppy, cloth diapers, and something for baby to sleep on (maybe a pack-n-play or one of those arm’s reach co sleeper things mentioned on another thread).

 

[monicatholic]

what exciting times for you! new baby! advanced degree!

it sounds like you have a good, compact list of baby goods (i also reccommend the clip-on baby seat instead of a highchair
http://www.amazon.com/Chicco-Caddy-...ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1222750660&sr=8-1 )

as for making money: i have a little daycare business (which i wish was more) and a small sporadic-income company (bedwetting treatment), and a cosmetic business i keep simply to discount my sisters’ and mom’s skin care products and get mine for free. none of that really brings in much cash.

spending less is the best thing i do to help with income.

as for grad/ baby/ married life: i can only offer a limited experience: i’ve just returned to college (i’m a career undergrad, i think) the ONLY piece of advice i can offer-- he needs*** space and time*** at home to study. if most of the baby gear is in the kitchen/ living room of your tiny place put the TV there, too. let him study in the bedroom. let him hang a “no disturb” sign.

i’m realizing with only 2 courses (online) i can’t study on the fly. my time has to be scheduled and uninterrupted.

 

[journey137]

It is exciting! I’m really happy for him because he wanted to do this so badly.

I have not thought of a daycare type thing. I might ask around church and see if any of the other pregnant ladies will be needing infant care. We already spend very frugally so I’m not too sure if we can cut that by much. If I would have had a place to garden this season that would have helped. I’ll definately be setting out a few things in pots next year since we’re going to be here a while.

Congrats to you monica for returning to school. It’s not an easy decision and online classes are extra tough for some people.

As to a study area, I think you’re right because his last semester he would do most of his homework on campus in the labs. Half the living room area can be used for that. We’ve got a coffee table right next to the computer and a lamp so that would work nicely. He would still be in the house but not in an area that anyone other than the dog would frequently walk through while he was busy.

 

[royal_archer]

My kids were born when I was going through my masters. I figured that I wanted to get my carreer straightened out early so I cousl spend more time with them while they were growing up. Master’s degrees do come in handy and if work is willing to pay all the better. It shows they will value the degree.

Here are some things my wife was not prepared for:

My being locked up in my basement office and irritable trying to concentrate.
My not wanting to feed the baby, change diaper, etc. while I was studying.
My expectation that since I was working long hours at the office and working on my degree that she would get up in the middle of the night. (Especially when she only worked part time and could sleep in.)

It was a several year investment broken up into three big chunks inbetween promotions and job moves. But well worth it. I am now done with it and can spend lots of time with the kids who were about 6 and 9 when I graduated.

 

[RyanL_s_Wife]

My husband just finished three years of law school at Notre Dame back in May. We already miss his grad school years. We had two kiddos while Ryan was going to school. We had a close knit group of friends all of who also had two to three kids throughout their law school career. I mention this only to say it can be done and I don’t think our family suffered in the least.

Of course, when it comes to money, if you can avoid school loans, all the better. But, if you think you may need a little extra, you might apply for subsidized loans only…that way you don’t have to start paying interest until after graduation. As mentioned before, baby sitting is another way to earn a little money. Another suggestion, if you are comfortable with/ qualified for it, is tutoring. You can usually post tutoring jobs at the local schools. The kids then come to your house to get a little extra help with their studies. We also had a friend who would work a few days a week at Silvan learning center. She would schedule times to work when her husband would be home with the babies.

I don’t have a lot of suggestions on saving space, but I will tell you about our good friend Erika. They bought a co-sleeper. When it was time to move the crib further from the bed, they slid it into the closet. Obviously it depends on the layout of your apartment, but I was extremely impressed with her ability to save space. She bought a contoured foam mat that typically goes on a changing table and she put it on the dryer. She then put all the diaper stuff (cloth diapers) on the shelves in the laundry area. (which was just a small area offset from the hallway.) So her washer/dryer doubled as a changing table. Every space in her home seemed to double as something else.
I admit I would not have been able to accomplish what she did, but I know it can be done. (I am sure the internet has tons of advice on making use of small spaces)

One final thing. I don’t know if this will work for your husband… it did not work for many of our friends, but I was so happy with the way my husband handled studying. (And this will only work if your husband is only going to school and not working as well) My husband treated school like a job. He left the house at 6:30 every morning and was home by 6:00 every evening, night classes and finals being the exception. If he wasn’t in class, he was in the library studying. When it was time to come home, he left his books at the school. Once he was home it was family time. Again, this just doesn’t work for everyone, but if your husband was able to make that work, I can’t tell you how nice it is to have your husband home for dinner every night.

Okay, sorry this is so long… and double sorry if none of this was information you were actually looking for. We just loved our years at Notre Dame. We made many friends and had so many great experiences.

Good luck with everything!

God bless,

RyanL’s Wife

 

[puzzleannie]

we did it, both our daughters and their husbands did it, you can do it too.

tip for a small apartment–you need a lot less baby stuff than they want to sell you. get just the basics, then pare down some more. cloth vs disposables depends on availability of washer and dryer, do what is best for you dont worry about being pc.

breastfeeding is vastly simpler than fussing with bottles.

resolve now for both of you to take care of your health and purchase and eat only foods that build health, nothing that saps health. you will save enough on junk food to pay for a proper diet.

babies need and toddlers need only about 10 percent of the toys they end up with, convince relatives to consult you before buying gifts and baby stuff. what is the point of having 6 pink dresses if you have no onsies or sleepers.

hubby’s plan is absolutely ideal for funding grad school, personally I am always very leery about advising anyone to pursue grad studies unless they have found somebody willing to pay for at least part of it. congratulations to him for working this out, don’t pass it up, it is worth some sacrifice to take advantage of this opportunity.

we made it work, as did one of our daughters by babysitting for babies of other grad students, and networking and sharing everyting from child care to baby clothes and equipment to food co-oping with that group helped immensely and provided a built-in support network, since we had no relatives nearby. as ratty as married student housing is sometimes, it is community. DD has maintained some strong friendships from that time (about 10 yrs ago) and got her third baby and her thesis published the same week, and lived to tell about it.

 

[journey137]

… Another suggestion, if you are comfortable with/ qualified for it, is tutoring. …

I will be trying to talk the school I am working for now continue to let me work for them with homebound students or maybe the alternative school because I will be a certified teacher when this semester finishes. I’m just covering maternity leave for a lady now so I’m not a permanent employee. They do not have any obligation to try and find me a job, but nobody likes homebound or alt. school assignments even though they pay pretty good so I might have a shot. If that does not work out, I probably will look into tutoring once the baby gets a little older.

Your friend has some crazy space saving skills, and I will take your advice and look around online to see what I can find. Our washer and dryer are in another part of the apartment building so that particular part won’t work for us, but beginning to think along those lines is exactly what I need to do!

Not seeing my husband is something that concerns me. I really hope he will be able to do what yours did.

…tip for a small apartment–you need a lot less baby stuff than they want to sell you. get just the basics, then pare down some more. cloth vs disposables depends on availability of washer and dryer, do what is best for you dont worry about being pc.
…
DD has maintained some strong friendships from that time (about 10 yrs ago) and got her third baby and her thesis published the same week, and lived to tell about it.

I’m definately a minimalist when it comes to getting junk for any purpose, but when it comes to family giving me junk I hate to throw it out because it was a gift. Hopefully they will take me seriously when I say don’t get me this or that. We’ve already donated some diapers that were given to us to the pregnancy resource center.

With the diapers, I’ve been led to believe that cloth is less expensive in the long run. Our apartment building has three washers and dryers that the entire building shares. We do not have to pay to use them nor do we have to pay water or electric for them so that’s not a concern

We try to eat healthy, but as busy as I am this semester we don’t do as good a job as I would like. Hopefully once I’m home full time it will be easier.

How in the world is your daughter still sane? I thought I was busy with being pregnant, teaching full time, taking three college classes, and teaching PSR. A thesis and being pregnant sounds just crazy to me.

 

[Litcrit]

A thesis and being pregnant sounds just crazy to me.

Hi! I enrolled a 3-year M.Sc. program when I got married, and 8 months later I was pregnant (we weren’t trying or avoiding)!

Initially, I was worried, but it all worked out perfectly - I received a government scholarship that allowed me to support my family for 3 years so we could both stay home with our daughter and I could focus on just 2 things - my child and my thesis. I even learned to work with dd in the same room, amid all the chaos. Of course, dh was the one ‘responsible’ for not letting her get killed, etc.

We also lived in a tiny one-bedroom place all that time - the kitchen, the living room, and the dining room were all together the other tiny room we had.

We have almost no baby stuff, and shouldn’t have even bought the crib - we ended up cosleeping.

In short, you can do it, and God knows wht He chose the timing He did! Good luck.