New Catholic being shut out in my parish

  • Thread starter Thread starter Brettbat
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
ConfusedLucy said:
In my experience due to poor admin and communication you do often have to be quite pushy if you want to get involved with a parish. Also do you work? A lot of things are only really open to retired people.
Click to expand...
I’m curious, which things that would be?
 
Cleaning rota, maintenance, flower arranging, various prayer groups, craft groups all meet during the working day. To be fair people who are unemployed or do night shifts could also potentially enlist
 
ConfusedLucy said:
Cleaning rota, maintenance, flower arranging, various prayer groups, craft groups all meet during the working day. To be fair people who are unemployed or do night shifts could also potentially enlist
Click to expand...
This is at your specific church. It is not the case for all churches. I am aware of quite a few prayer groups that meet after 6 pm to accommodate those who work, and other places where cleaning is done on the weekends.
Maintenance at the churches where I attend is usually a part-time job for several men and they are doing it during working hours as one would work a job - they likely also get paid something for their work.

A lot depends on the demographics of the parish. If most of the attendees are retired elderly, then you will see more things during the day. If most of the attendees are working people, then you will see more things in the evening so they can attend after work.
 
Last edited:
Exactly. Our cleaning groups, for example, are on Saturday mornings. We really don’t have much at all that’s confined to daytime on weekdays.
 
All the parishes I have been part of are mostly retired age people. I only suggested it as a possibility.
 
I really wouldn’t take this terribly personally, although I totally understand where you are coming from.

I have experienced very similar things; reaching out to the Knights of Columbus with no reply, signing up for a ministry with no further communication or actioning other than repeated requests basically just asking for my information again somewhere months down the road, and repeat, and repeat…

I think this is most likely just “par for the course”, and people in this thread have given some very good reasons as to why it could be. Easy for me to say though right 🙂

God bless
 
ConfusedLucy said:
All the parishes I have been part of are mostly retired age people. I only suggested it as a possibility.
Click to expand...
All it requires is people who want a chance to speak up and show up. Bible Study at my former parish switched from 10am on a weekday to 7am on a Saturday because a doctor and a grandmother who got custody of her young grandchild wanted to come but couldn’t. A parish is going to cater to people who are active. That said, most are entirely reasonable people who will accomodate those with busier schedules if possible.
 
I’m curious why this is of interest when the the topic is abot becoming active, and feeling accepted, in their new parish?
 
DeniseNY said:
I’m curious why this is of interest when the the topic is abot becoming active, and feeling accepted, in their new parish?
Click to expand...
I agree. Giving someone the third degree as to whether their transfer process was done right is not likely to make them feel more welcome/ active/ accepted anywhere.
 
I think it’s great if a group are willing to make the change to accommodate someone. Not all groups are though, to be fair where I live the winter evenings are cold, dark and often rainy so you probably would find it would stop a lot of elderly people going. Ideally you would have both type of group.
 
And if the diocese approved the transfer, opening it up to discussion on a random message board is unnecessary and inappropriate.
 
If God is telling you anything it might be to better learn how not to take things personally and to remember that we live in a fairly slack world. We also have a lot of distractions. Also parishes can have cliques the same as anywhere else. Human nature still suffers this even among Christians.

Turning back to the slackness just try to organize a party and see how many RSVPs you get (meaning yes or no) when all people have to do is push a button on a web page. They don’t have to put something in the mail and yet they still can’t manage it. Personally I think it is a problem of too much distraction and communities that are too large. Regardless, it is the way the world is. Keep trying to get involved and eventually you will.
 
At every State Convention the councils who have the highest percentage of participation are recognized.

Sure, there will be outliers in every group, however, that does not mean that the local Councils are encouraged to recruit new members.

I have a friend with 6 fingers on one hand. This does not mean that humans are known for having 5 fingers per hand.
 
Brettbat said:
Can anyone give me any advice as to how I should take this? Is God telling me something?
Click to expand...
Obviously from an Orthodox Christian, I would say that you seem like you are having some doubt whether you made the right decision leaving the Church. Why else would you be trying to find meaning in a few months of miscommunication from online groups and phone calls.

If you don’t mind me asking, how long were you part of the Orthodox Church? And what was it that convinced you that it isn’t the Church of Christ?
 
Thinking of things that a generic “dad” would be interested in at my small parish:

Men’s group meets at 6:30 AM on Friday
Knights meet every Thursday in the evening
Adult study groups meet on Sunday at 11 AM or on Thursday at 9 AM
RE & CYM meet on Wednesday evening and we are always in need of volunteers!
Office volunteers come in at 9 AM on Friday
Ministries like lector or EMHC of course happen at every Mass
We need voices for the choir at every weekend Mass
There is a “learn Spanish” class on Monday evenings
We always need Sacristains

I know I am forgetting something.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
Cleaning rota, maintenance, flower arranging, various prayer groups, craft groups all meet during the working day. To be fair people who are unemployed or do night shifts could also potentially enlist
Click to expand...
I work full-time and attend school full-time and am largely responsible for all the decorating and flowers in the church. It just works around my schedule.

People can be quite accommodating if they want to be.
 
@thelittlelady, that’s not accurate. There aren’t incentives for highest percentage of participation as you’re describing it. There are, however, incentives for recruiting. ALL councils are encouraged to seek out new members. Some sadly don’t. Some see our organization as an exclusive club where they are the gatekeepers, or are overzealous over making sure only “good” Catholics join. Other councils are simply are suffering from a lack of leadership or are really hurting for the help.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the ONLY requirement for membership in the Knights of Columbus is that you’re a practicing Catholic adult male in good standing with the Church. If this fits you, there’s a place for you in our order.

OP, if you’re in a jurisdiction that is a part of our eMembership program, go to www.knights.net and you can join instantly. Not all jurisdictions are linked into this program yet since it’s so new. We developed this program because of men like you who are having difficulty getting into a local Council, or don’t have the time to join.

You’re more than welcome to go to a council event. There is probably a fish fry someehere this Friday. Please don’t try to attend a meeting before becoming a member (as someone recommended above) as our regular business meetings are restricted to the membership.

As for parish ministries, I know that my parish does EMHC and reader training exactly once a year, advertised in the bulletin, and if you miss the training you don’t get put on the list. Other ministries might require you yo find who’s running it. For all of these things I’d recommend go and talk to the parish secretary, who probably knows who to talk to in order to get involved.

Let not your heart be troubled. I guarantee someone at your parish is praying for someone like you to help.
 
Not to beat a dead horse, but I have to agree with everyone who said that this is likely due to nothing other than disorganization. As far as I can tell, most administrative positions at parishes pay a pittance, and you get what you pay for.
 
Maybe if they struggle to find volunteers it encourages them to be more flexible
 
We also have a younger pastor who values skilled professionals among his parish volunteers. He recognizes that this means working with their schedules.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top