New Catholic with contraceptive delema

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jodi
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I know I may not be of much help, but have you tried to talk to her much? It seems that she could be very lonely and turn to sex as the only way to somewhat alleviate it. Maybe given enough time you could reason with her about contraception, one of the best ways to convert is by showing true Catholic charity.
 
Jodi said:
I checked with adult protective. She is not bad enough to get a guardian but not good enough to make it on her own. Got to love a system when it does not work.
Click to expand...
I feel for you. I watched my parents and aunt go through this, too. My uncle was behaving recklessly–so much so we were very afraid for him. But the courts ruled that unless someone could testify he had threatened suicide we could not force him to seek treatment for his mental illness. It went on for several years before he finally consented. It was a nightmare for all of us. I will pray, pray, pray…

That may be all any of us can do for this girl.
 
Is it possible to pray a person into Sainthood? I think Saint Monica prayed Saint Augustine into Sainthood.

Pray for this woman, pray a rosary a day, if you can.

May GOD bless this woman, and you, have faith, in time all things will get better, sometimes we have to wait though for the KINGDOM which is to come.

LOVE your neighbor as yourself.
Amen.
 
She’s pregnant. Now what? The boyfriend is still emotionally disturbed and 16, she is not able to take care of herself let alone the baby. She of course wants to keep it so she has someone who loves her. I am just preparing to make the phone call to the office of childrens services that will take her baby away once she neglects it. I am happy for a new soul. I am sad it could not have been born under better circumstances.
 
Jodi said:
She’s pregnant. Now what? The boyfriend is still emotionally disturbed and 16, she is not able to take care of herself let alone the baby. She of course wants to keep it so she has someone who loves her. I am just preparing to make the phone call to the office of childrens services that will take her baby away once she neglects it. I am happy for a new soul. I am sad it could not have been born under better circumstances.
Click to expand...
This is a very difficult situation and my prayers are with you and your daughter. Yes, I think contacting Children’s Services, however regrettable, is the correct thing to do.

Would it be possible for you to raise your grand-child? I am certain that is a difficult thing to consider at this time, but could it be an option? That way your daughter would have access to her child, but you would be able to ensure a decent upbringing.

May God bless you during the difficulties ahead. Consider posting this on the Parenting board. There are a lot of moms and grandmothers there who may be able to give you some good ideas…
 
Oh wow, I guess you basically expected she would get pregnant.

I offer prayers for this young woman and her boyfriend and you and all involved.
 
Jodi said:
She’s pregnant. Now what? The boyfriend is still emotionally disturbed and 16, she is not able to take care of herself let alone the baby. She of course wants to keep it so she has someone who loves her. I am just preparing to make the phone call to the office of childrens services that will take her baby away once she neglects it. I am happy for a new soul. I am sad it could not have been born under better circumstances.
Click to expand...
Is there any way you could help her raise the baby? Do you think the boy’s parents would help them? I hate to see CPS get involved just because this young woman is mentally disabled. It is quite possible that she could be good good mother with help.

I’ve witnessed this with my cousin. She has two daughters who she raised with my aunt’s help. She lived in her own apartment with her husband (who is mentally disabled). My aunt would check in on them every day and help her with anything she needed.

At this point your first step is to encourage the woman to get prenatal care. If you are in the States, there are federally funded programs for this purpose. Do you know if the woman gets medical care through the state? My son has a Pervasive Developemental Disability. In Arizona he qualifies for AZ Long Term Care. Maybe this woman gets that. If not, there are clinics like St. Elizabeth Of Hungry which can help her out. Also have her check into WIC and food stamps. You want to make sure that baby is born healthy.

Having a son with a disability led me to working with adults with disablities. They want the same thing all of us want. To love and be loved. Doesn’t this couple deserve that? Yes, they are extremely young. Yes they do have mental disabilities. But they don’t deserve to have their child ripped away from them, just for that. Encourage them to check into parenting classes. In AZ there are teen pregnancy programs. Try to get this couple to look into those. Call your state’s Dept. of Disablities and see what they can offer. They may both already be in that system and have a worker. See if you can get that person to help you through the system. Because of privacy laws, they may not be able to speak directly with you, but they can speak to their clients and guide them through the system.

Kim
 
I have a daughter in the same range. Though it’s very difficult at times, we view her as a child. She lives with us, though she goes to work and what not. We will not let her enter into a romantic relationship, and are fairly forthright in explaining why in a compassionate way. She gets frustrated at times, but usually she is thankful that we are there as her parents. The fact is, she is not a fully developed woman capable of responsible marriage, or the having and raising of children. She is about at 10 year old girl, in spite of her 25 years of life. She also, always will be. We’ve had this confirmed by many doctors. It is our duty, as her parents to protect her.

Please seek some advice from some professionals, but I think you might find that perhaps she should not be living with her boyfriend and having sex. Your issue might not be whether she should be using contraception, but whether or not she has the ability to be married and be mother. If not, then perhaps she should live at home, and be supervised. She might not be as old as you think she is, if she’s in this IQ range.

Anyway, I’ll pray for you and her, as I can certainly relate to the problem. Please discuss with someone from whatever faith you may be involved in, and perhaps look into guardianship, etc. Otherwise, you are pretty much taking the responsibility upon yourself for any children she may conceive and bear. I know that if my daughter had a child, that would be on my wife and I. It would be another child for us. Not a grandchild.

Either way…contraception is not the answer. Even for the low IQ, a willingness to have sex, or the consent of the parent to them having sex is also saying yes to God to have the wisdom of whether or not to produce life from any resulting unions. It’s not our choice.

My deepest prayers,

Peace,

Steven
 
I have a son with disabilities and I am not all for ripping this child when it is born away from his or her mom. The mom is getting signed up for our states form of medicaid and has a prenatal appointment. I have already contacted the doctor because one negative comment and she will probably never return. She has to high of an IQ score to get most services. She will be the mom and will be supported but at the same time we have to be realistic she has refused help for herself many times for various problems and will probably continue this behavior. I will not let this child be neglected and abused when it is born. Yes she will have help but if she refuses the help and the child is neglected than I will report her to give her child a chance.
 
Jodi said:
I have a son with disabilities and I am not all for ripping this child when it is born away from his or her mom. The mom is getting signed up for our states form of medicaid and has a prenatal appointment. I have already contacted the doctor because one negative comment and she will probably never return. She has to high of an IQ score to get most services. She will be the mom and will be supported but at the same time we have to be realistic she has refused help for herself many times for various problems and will probably continue this behavior. I will not let this child be neglected and abused when it is born. Yes she will have help but if she refuses the help and the child is neglected than I will report her to give her child a chance.
Click to expand...
Oh, Jodi. May God be with you during the difficult days ahead. May He give you strength and support.

You do seem to be handling this well and the decisions you have made, and I am sure they were very difficult, are well reasoned and reflect both your desire to help and a recognition of of your limitations.

May God continue to bless you. (Even if it does not seem like this is exactly a blessing from God.)
 
My concern is that if this child is just automatically taken away, the mother will go out and try to get pregnant again. Since she has gotten temporary affirmation from sexual attention before, there’s a better than average chance she’ll do it again and if she’s not going to use protection, she could end up with an std that kills her.
Really, it may be best to push her in the direction of motherhood and the self-giving love that it can bring. If you can try to find some kind of program where you check in on her periodically or she has a guardian live with her, it could turn things around well.
Another thing you might try to find is a network of friends for her who would be a positive influence. I don’t know if there’d be anything like that through the Church in your area, but maybe social services knows of some organization where she could meet people like her who are doing positive things like Special Olympics. You could also try to find people who aren’t mentally challenged to reach out to her. The important thing is having a support system of people influencing you in the right direction. Drug addicts and alcoholics have trouble staying clean when they go back to their old friends. This girl needs some new friends. God bless you and my family will pray for this situation. Please let us know how things go!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top