New convert burnout

[TheWatchman2012]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

I’m sorry to hear that you feel so drained and burned out.

I have two questions.

The first is, can you think back to what attracted you to Catholicism in the first place? What made you decide to pursue RCIA? Is that thing still available to you?

The second is, do you have Catholic friends? Are you involved in any ministries in your parish? Do you belong to a Bible study group or a small faith sharing community? I find that for myself, faith is not a do-it-yourself thing. I need the support of other people as well.

 

[Trishie]

I would recommend that you would speak to God honestly from your thoughts and feelings.
To have a deeper relationship with God we do need to approach Him from our personal reality. in addition to any community prayer or other prayer you can say if you choose.

When we marry it may be all joy and enthusiasm at first, just as the early honeymoon days can be in anything a human begins with enthusiasm.

“Being in love” whether regarding a relationship, or a a conversion is a wonderful experience, but it isn’t yet true faith or true relationship.

Real love and real faith begin when reality sets in, when there are good days and not so good, when initial emotions and enthusiasms fade…this is where genuine faith and faithfulness and where genuine love begins.

May God find in you the strength to continue to respond to His graces.
St Paul 1 Corinthians 3

“And so, brothers and sisters, I could not speak to you as spiritual people, but rather as people of the flesh, as infants in Christ. 2I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for solid food. Even now you are still not ready, 3for you are still of the flesh.”
Slightly different context, but still the same message.

Our faith journey does not remain the same.
Suppose you were journeying on foot to an amazing destination, and you begin with enthusiasm and hope, but as the days pass you become tired, you get blisters, the weather isn’t always good, you might even sometimes lose heart…but you will not arrive at the ultimate desired destination if you abandon the journey, despairing at its difficulties and its times when the journey no longer inspires you.
Nevertheless may God give you experience of His love at times on your journey, and times of companionship with fellow travelers toward heaven. God grant that You will welcome these graces.

Jesus didn’t promise the way would be easy, and it assuredly was not easy for Him.

 

[Elizium23]

If you are tired and averse to rote prayers then perhaps it would suit you to perform some silent meditation before the exposed Blessed Sacrament. Great wonders are worked during Adoration. I will pray that a parish near you has perpetual or frequent Adoration and that you can easily avail yourself of this great spiritual good.

Now is a good time for you to be discerning your vocation for the rest of your life. Especially so if you are unmarried. It is during Adoration when the Lord speaks to us of our vocation and we are able to listen in the stillness. You have been led this far to swimming the Tiber and joining the Church. God will surely not leave you orphaned at this point. Listen to Him.

 

[dje101]

I went through a similar spell towards the end of my first year after converting. I think the problem with me was that I was trying to do too much too fast. I was researching all the time, reading this, listening to that, getting started with a group at my parish. But what I didn’t do much of was foster my relationship with God.

I prayed, just not as much as I should have or could have. I went to mass, but I could have gone more often. I think the best thing to do is take it slow, develop a good prayer life, maybe go to mass on Sundays as well as Wednesdays. Then at one point, maybe go two times during the week in addition to Sundays. Nurture that relationship with God. We all go through dry spells. Anyone can do it when we have that high of being in love with the Church. It takes time, obedience, and prayer to fight through the dry and exhausting times.

 

[jc4751]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

Yeah, I had the same experience when I joined the Church. I got away from it for a while, then kept getting pulled back in. The same reason I originally went (the Holy Spirit) was what kept me moving back to it.

I think the problem is that we hit a divide between how we think people want us and expect us to relate to the faith, and how we’re most comfortable doing it. This happens even in our religious lives when we’ve been long-time Catholics. With people who are new to the Church, there is both the internal and external pressure to immerse one’s self fully in the Church, to take on a new identity as a Catholic. This is understandable, as being Catholic is what we are – we’re everything else second.

Most of the friends I have at Church are very visibly active in this and that. My wife is super-active with Church organization and meetings. Some other friends are into the Charismatic thing. I love them, and they are good, fine people, but that’s not the road I’m on with the faith. I gravitate toward the Catholic mystic side of things, instead. There’s nothing flashy about my faith and I’m a poor witness to it, because most people don’t see me practice it. On the other hand, I do good when I can, where I can, and try to talk to God every breath.

The best advice I ever heard was in fact from one of our charismatic friends…everyone has a gift from the Holy Spirit of some sort, to help them do what God wants of them. It’s up to the individual to really discern that. Maybe yours is to help clean the church and work the Fish Fry, or maybe it’s to witness the Faith to strangers, or something else altogether. I think you’re just at the point where you have not really yet understood what that is in your life.

The other thing is, you might have a bit of The Dark Night of the Soul. I understand Mother Theresa went through a few decades of that. The Faith is not always rich food…sometimes, it is bread and water. The joy comes within that when we realize that it may be all God needs we realize if we listen to Him, or that a faith which perseveres in spite of that is far stronger than people who were given consolations at every turn. I should probably point out that I had about fifteen years of that before God slapped me upside the head and things suddenly became crystal clear for me.

Just take it in stride and realize that quite a few people have been where you are now. Some of them have become saints, something we’re all called to do.

 

[Casilda]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

Yes, I had that problem, having the joy sucked out of me. I tried RCIA because I was told that was the route to take. I tried several programs at several parishes. I do not recommend them. I was finally brought back into communion by examination by a priest who had the time to listen. RCIA was keeping me away and dragging me away from my faith. I would tell people to try studying on their own and meeting with a priest or an assistant priest or a deacon, but avoid RCIA.

The first is, can you think back to what attracted you to Catholicism in the first place? What made you decide to pursue RCIA? Is that thing still available to you?

I would advise you to try and find that joy again, too. I found it by being in His presence, at adoration, through prayer, and reading about others who pursued Christ, stories of saints lives, currently reading the Diary of St. Faustina.

Are you not supposed to have a sponsor or mentor guide you through your faith after you are received? Please take SuscipeMeDomine’s advice and get involved with other faithful in your parish.

 

[lax16]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

When I felt disconnected, I would pray constantly “Lord, help my unbelief” and anything else I could muster such as “Jesus I love you, help me” and “God I know you are there, but I am not feeling you right now. Help me.”

Nothing fancy, just the facts.

Pray through the darkness, even if you are unsure. It is much brighter when you come through it!

 

[esieffe]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

Yeah, stop pulling our leg.

 

[Trishie]

Yeah, stop pulling our leg.

Now now!

It’s not an unusual for some new converts to become disillusioned and disenchanted, as can a married couple after the honeymoon.

Some people do then recommend rote prayers or novenas, and the OP wanted to head off such suggestions, finding them also without appeal at this time! Perhaps he/she has already seen posts where the recommendations are to resort to rote prayers.

Not everyone finds inspiration in these without grace and meditation, which is good of course, but not everyone’s nature is inevitably suited to formal prayers when times are difficult.

I myself speak honestly and naturally to God when I find things difficult or I’m worried about anyone (and in fact, most of the time). Even in Prayer Intentions I usually pray specifically to the situation in my own words.
I do sometimes use formal prayers and have written some of my own, not as an exercise but from the heart.

 

[InquestofaWoman]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

Watchman, I was brought up Protestant and converted to Catholicism last year. I know how you feel, not necessarily with respect to conversion, but rather to church and religion in general. I went through the “burned out” stage–and little wonder, as I am a “cradle Christian”. There were moments when praying, singing hymns, attending church and so on seemed tiresome, especially after so many years.

What I have learned, however, is that being a Christian, Catholic or otherwise, is not merely about feeling good; it is not confined or definable solely by emotion. Rather, it is a disciplined commitment to Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. It entails steady growth of a relationship with the Divine, something that is not easy and takes a lot of work. It is, above all else, the embodiment of service and love. We commit to Christ, and through that commitment learn to love Him. That process does not happen in a few months of RCIA, or within the year following. It is a life-long challenging journey through obstacles, one that each of us must take if we are serious in our devotion to God.

Sounds difficult? The best things usually are. Still, there is inevitable value along the way. Were I, for example, to describe all I do or refrain from doing for my parents, I would have a list as long as my arms put together; yet, I love them dearly and do not consider any of those things a chore. I enjoy being with my Mum and Dad. We share wonderful experiences. Yes, we have our problems, but these can only lessen our bond if we allow them. Conversely, and thankfully, my family and I strive to work out our issues, rather than abandon them and each other. Perseverance, as ever, is the better alternative, for there is where we learn, heal, and grow for the better.

Our relationship with Christ, Watchman, is no different. There will be dry points. There will be times when you do not feel like singing or praying or going to Mass. Nonetheless, if you are sincere in your desire to follow Jesus, persist through those moments. Do not allow the pangs of discouragement to impede your walk with Christ. Again, it is not merely about feeling, but more about doing and believing; and the longer you strive by God’s grace, the more natural your efforts will become. Now, I do not necessarily refer to rote prayers. If this does not appeal to you at this time, pray to God reverently in your own words; tell Him what you are thinking and feeling. Also, consider the suggestions others have made in response to your post–forming a circle of friends, joining a parish-sponsored Bible Study, attending social activities, etc., all of which can help to provide an environment of faith and support. For me, personally, I have found all such things to be quite useful. You can also speak privately with your priest and see what he recommends.

Do not give up, Watchman. Do not deliberately turn away today in the expectation that you can return tomorrow. Our lives are not our own, and God is not a “thing” to be discarded and picked up at whim. The Bible bids, “Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near” (Isaiah 55:6-13), and again, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring” (Psalm 27:1). Jesus understands how you feel. He knows the spiritual challenges every Christian must face–disillusionment, discouragement, and disappointment to name a few. Even so, He encourages not despair, but perseverance, and He promises to be with us every step of the way. Remember…you are not alone. Not for a moment.

Accordingly, be of good cheer and run the race, which St. Paul so eloquently describes in these timeless passages:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. (I Corinthians 9:24-27)
*
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1-2) *

You have done well, Watchman. You answered the call and came to Christ. This is the time, when you feel like leaving, to plant your feet firmly by His side. Steady on, and visit this forum as often as you need for reinforcement! We will pray for you.

Ave Maria…
Pater Noster…
Gloria Patri…
Amen

God bless,
Inquest

 

[tawny]

I recently converted to Catholicism and I already feel burned out. RCIA was tedious and I feel drained after it all. I know it’s wrong but I feel like I want to quit for awhile and take an indefinite hiatus from the religion and do something else. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

Anyone had this problem and have any advice besides reciting rote prayers?

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength & fortitude in the zeal of your faith.

 

[robertkchacon]

It sounds like you are trying too hard under your own power. Stop doing things. Just sit in Adoration and prayer and let the Holy Spirit guide and energize you. Just don’t DO anything, but reside in Him, until the Holy Spirit animates you with joy and enthusiasm.

 

[TheWatchman2012]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Though I don’t see me joining a bunch of church activities as that will make my problem worse since I want to take a break and not get more wrapped up doing more and more stuff.

It just seems like a big let down. They hype the Eucharist as life changing and I feel nothing when I take it each Sunday.

 

[DAML72]

I have experienced this.

Remember, the Eucharist isn’t a ‘quick fix’. Conversion is a journey. One day at a time.

I would suggest you go to Confession and share your feelings with the priest. I did this at Lent, and it was helpful.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

It just seems like a big let down. They hype the Eucharist as life changing and I feel nothing when I take it each Sunday.

I felt nothing for over 15 years. No fireworks, no miracles.

My advice is to not expect such things because God gives us consolations (experiences)when He sees fit. I don’t understand how that works and it can be extremely frustrating, but it is how it is. I spent years just sitting through mass every sunday, going through the motions. It felt like a waste of time and I felt like a fraud, but I kept it up. I now believe that persisting was rewarded, and that sitting in the pew every sunday did produce fruit, even though it wasn’t obvious at the time.

Do what you can, even if that is very little.

 

[InNomineDomini]

I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I first started.

A very important key to spirituality is to keep in mind that* feelings and emotions* are not the driving force of your prayer life.

Think about it in more mundane ways. Imagine a parent waking up one day and saying, Psh. I’m so sick of being a parent. I no longer have the joy or enthusiasm I once had when I was first had children. They’re always contradicting me and being a pain in the neck. I’m leaving and going on a long trip, because this is just ridiculous.

Now obviously, there is a reality for this adult outside of what their feelings are telling them, and their emotions are not necessarily how they come in contact with knowledge of this reality. And in fact, no one would ever seriously say something like this about being a parent, and about many other things too. Likewise, people who are addicted to various things and are being treated won’t convince their doctors that they’re really OK because their feelings are telling them it’s just fine to partake in their drug of choice.

So yes, a key to all of this is to let go of this perception of spirituality as always being about joy and enthusiasm. In point of fact, when we are doing things very well spiritually, we may undergo a great deal of temptation which, if we were following solely emotions, would very, very easily dissuade us from the proper course. This is a weakness.

I would say in closing that, if you dislike rote prayers, to really try to pay attention how much you are putting into them. I’m not saying you think like this, but prayers like the Hail Mary or Our Father are not magic spells that we recite and then suddenly find ourselves falling over in utter ecstasy from. Persisting in them, and not paying attention to whether or not they are entertaining, but really using them to praise God and to open your heart to Him, is an incredibly fruitful thing to do.

EDIT: I would also add that spirituality is often a beautiful and peaceful experience, too, and very, very consoling. But this may not be the norm, and there are far too many reasons why to get into in a forum post.

God knows best how to provide us with opportunities for us to grow and to develop, and often enough, such things may take time. A person can’t simply decide to develop spiritually, and ask God for this, and simply turn around and find themselves having mystical experiences at every moment of their lives.

Again, think in mundane terms. We don’t walk up to some stranger and say hey, let’s get married! and then suddenly fall into the same type of relationship that a couple who have been together for 50 years have because we said this.

Things happen in God’s timing and in the ways which He knows is best, whether speaking of natural things or things dealing with grace.

 

[fred_conty]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Though I don’t see me joining a bunch of church activities as that will make my problem worse since I want to take a break and not get more wrapped up doing more and more stuff.

It just seems like a big let down. They hype the Eucharist as life changing and I feel nothing when I take it each Sunday.

It is unimportant if you do not feel Jesus’ is there in the Eucharist.
What is important is that you know by your faith in his words that he is there.

I must say it is nice to feel the presence of Jesus, but it is better to know the presence of Jesus.

When you look at the Eucharist, what you see are grains of wheat pressed together, and the red liquid of many grapes fermented, but that is all that Jesus expects you to see. But our knowledge thru faith sees that below this wheat bread and red wine is really Jesus the Son of God, who walked and taught in Gallilee. And now he comes to you because he wants to be united with you. We trust his words and not our sight.

“Jesus I love you, and I trust you.”

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

 

[Carolinaj]

I am a new Catholic (as of yesterday) and I don’t know if this helps, but other Catholic’s joined in our RCIA classes to learn more about their faith and they said they were there because they heard the class so interactive. Maybe you could find a class to meet other new Catholics that could be of help.

I always feel sad to hear RCIA was boring for my catholic friends because my classes were so great. I couldn’t wait until the next class to learn and hear more.

Sometimes, finding the right classes, with great instruction and learning materials, can make a difference. We had CD’s, DVD’s, theologians, regular people like us teaching the course and it really was very enjoyable. If you could find a group, even a study group, that was interactive maybe that would help with your feelings at this time?

Anyway, I’m new to all of this, but like to share my experience to tell other’s in hopes that churches will follow suit and apply interactive learning media into RCIA along with many types of instructors that rotate on subject areas.

God Bless,
San Antonio, TX

 

[InquestofaWoman]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Though I don’t see me joining a bunch of church activities as that will make my problem worse since I want to take a break and not get more wrapped up doing more and more stuff.

It just seems like a big let down. They hype the Eucharist as life changing and I feel nothing when I take it each Sunday.

Watchman, you don’t know that parish friendships and church activities would add to your troubles. If you have not yet sincerely tried, how can you be certain?

Do not expect a “high” from the Eucharist, as though it were a drug that would put you on a weekly plateau of earthly happiness; it does not work that way. The Eucharist, and every sacrament to which we adhere, is part of the life-long process of conversion in a continued walk with Christ. One’s path to God is a meaningful journey, not an expedient destination.

Consider, Watchmann: The most noteworthy people we revere today accomplished nothing with ease, or within a short period of time. If you base this or any decision on emotions alone–what you feel like doing at any given time, you will often make the wrong one, and you will never achieve anything of value.

You must ask yourself, truly, of what value is Jesus Christ to you? You are disappointed with what you have received; but what have you given, and what more are you willing to give?

Lastly, the Holy Spirit would never lead you to relinquish your commitment to Him; therefore… what motive is truly driving you? Is this the means by which you intend to lead your life?

At the very least, do share your thoughts and feelings with your priest. God be with you.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)