New convert to the faith ( in rcia) missing at least half of her rcia classes

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blaskoman

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I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
 
maybe try to take her out to lunch to have a friendly conversation and see what is going on. maybe she is turned off by the emails and your concern for her attendance is being viewed as too pushy. Face to face talking is always better than emails.
 
Has she been able to get a hold of a priest to get the process of convalidation started? I know when I was in rcia last year the teachers kept threatening that we were running out of time. After a month of trying to get an appointment with a priest, I just quit rcia. I didn’t have a sponsor, would have really appreciated that, and no one ever returned my emails 😦
 
Casilda said:
Has she been able to get a hold of a priest to get the process of convalidation started? I know when I was in rcia last year the teachers kept threatening that we were running out of time. After a month of trying to get an appointment with a priest, I just quit rcia. I didn’t have a sponsor, would have really appreciated that, and no one ever returned my emails 😦
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If you are reverting to the Church, would RCIA even be needed??

ICXC NIKA
 
blaskoman said:
I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
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We just had a “discernment day” with the RCIA team and the priest. Perhaps something like that could be done with you and your participants.

Ultimately it is up to her to put the steps in, it is her faith journey, it sounds like you have done what you should as a sponsor.

It does sound like you guys should plan a lunch to talk.
 
blaskoman said:
I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
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I am assuming, because convalidation is required, that when they married her husband was Catholic and she wasn’t and that they were married outside of the Church without permission. And that he now wants to return to the sacraments.

It wouldn’t be unusual, in these circumstance, that she would only be going through the motions to please him. Perhaps it really doesn’t matter to her that much.

Only she knows, so talking to her would be the best way to go. Of course, you might hit a brick wall. You can only go so far to get her through the process, she has to do the rest.
 
elizaveta01 said:
I am assuming, because convalidation is required, that when they married her husband was Catholic and she wasn’t and that they were married outside of the Church without permission. And that he now wants to return to the sacraments.

It wouldn’t be unusual, in these circumstance, that she would only be going through the motions to please him. Perhaps it really doesn’t matter to her that much.

Only she knows, so talking to her would be the best way to go. Of course, you might hit a brick wall. You can only go so far to get her through the process, she has to do the rest.
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Can’t they be married in the church without her converting?
 
Origen52 said:
Can’t they be married in the church without her converting?
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The RCC view of what is a valid marriage can be a bit confusing. Basically a Catholic can validly marry a non-Catholic in the RCC provided they get permission first. But if one, or both, of them are Catholic and they get married outside of the Church then the marriage would not be valid. If neither was Roman Catholic at the time they got married then the RCC would recognize that as a valid marriage.

Convalidation is a ceremony to officially recognize a marriage that was performed outside of the RCC. But only Catholics married outside of the Church are required to have their marriage convalidated. Many non-Catholic converts choose to do it, but it isn’t required of them.
 
The woman I am sponsoring was married to a catholic in a Protestant ceremony so the marriage is not recognized by the Church.
 
=blaskoman;11795038]I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
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As a former RCIA teacher I do understand your problem.
  1. TRUST IN GOD
  2. It would seem she’s not ready yet. I would not FORCE the issue. [Actually we are not permitted too]
  3. Pray for her and just let her know that when she is ready; you will be ready to assist her.
  4. If she is unwilling to dialog; their isn’t much else you can do except pray much:thumbsup:
God Bless you,
Patrick
 
Does anyone know how long the convalidation process lasts? I’m thinking that even if my cousin starts the process tommorow, it won’t get done before Easter!
Code:
 
blaskoman said:
Does anyone know how long the convalidation process lasts? I’m thinking that even if my cousin starts the process tommorow, it won’t get done before Easter!
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I wouldn’t necessarily call it a process. We met with our priest to go over the forms, etc., set a date convenient for the priest and us, showed up at the church with our two witnesses, and had our Catholic wedding. Took oh, maybe 15 minutes.
 
blaskoman said:
Does anyone know how long the convalidation process lasts? I’m thinking that even if my cousin starts the process tomorrow, it won’t get done before Easter!
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It depends on how responsive everyone is.

Ours took a couple of months to set up and get all of the paperwork completed.

Some parishes require you to go through the same process that an engaged couple go through. That means 6 months of classes. A retreat. And multiple meetings with a “parish couple.” Thankfully, our parish didn’t require that.
 
blaskoman said:
I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
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Have you asked her if she is praying and discerning? Maybe it’s not her time.
 
blaskoman said:
I know this because I’m her sponsor. She doesn’t seem into the whole process. I’ve sent her emails about things she should read etc and she hasn’t reciprocated by any desire to ask me any questions or engage in any dalogue. She also has to get her marriage convalidated-- informed her about this in early January. Running out of time. Just frustrated on my end!
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Our Parish has attendance requirements that would bring this kind of thing to the attention of the Priest. He would then question this persons readiness. However, do be cautious. I have a girl friend who is terribly ill and her home Parish had a requirement that teens go on a camping retreat in order to complete Confirmation classes. She could not go, and would never be able to go. They refused to have her Confirmed.

When I heard this I was disgusted. She needs a double lung transplant and it seemed that no one could find a way to accommodate her needs. Long story short, I worked with her privately and she was eventually Confirmed by the Archbishop. You may need to confirm if there are conditions that are causing this candidate problems with attending class.

Sounds like a meeting with the pastor may be the best option at this time. Good luck.
 
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