New Father Becoming Catholic and Raising Child With Non-Catholic Spouse

[ccoonradt]

Hello,

I need advice on how to proceed with raising my child as Catholic when I am about to convert but my wife is going to take a while (I have hope for her yet), and part of my family will be very against my decision. This will probably be long so I’ll put it into categories with all my questions at the bottom.

Family background:
I was raised “evangelical” and so was my spouse. My father’s family is very anti Catholic and I was taught all the typical uninformed arguments about the church. My mother was raised Catholic, is now protestant but has no problems with the Church. She even brought me to mass a few times a year when I was younger. My in-laws were both former Catholics but are now evangelical. They have another Catholic daughter and are open enough so I’m not too worried. My wife’s Grandmother is a very loving and devote Catholic that I owe a great debt of gratitude in that she is the reason my wife is not completely against the faith.

Today:
I am looking into joining RCIA. My wife has told me she will not become Catholic and I doubt she would allow our child to be baptized in the church. We have just recently moved away from our hometown so I could go back to school and still have not found a church that we feel we can stay at. I am having a hard time even sitting through the services because it all feels lacking.

Questions:
What are some suggestions on how to raise a child in a household of differing faith views?
How do I not cause division in my marriage but still hold firm to the truth?
Any advice on how to deal with family rejection/anger or other negative reactions due to one’s conversion?
Mostly, any help on dealing with raising a child Catholic with a non-Catholic spouse is greatly appreciated.

Thank you

 

[Jon_S_1]

I have 3 kids and I am divorced. I came into the church after my divorce last year and my ex wife is baptist/evangelical as I was before.

This journey into the church is your journey. Not your wife’s and not your kids. Don’t let these dilemmas alter your course. They will work out in time.

For me, I cannot by court order engage my kids in a new religion without my ex wife’s consent. So they can tag along with me but she has to consent to any sacraments and such.

My kids are unbaptized but we’re dedicated in a Protestant church, I really desire their baptism, but my hands are tied.

I just teach them the faith at home, take them to mass, and an active in the parish. They do the same with their mom at her church.

Eventually they will make their own choice. My 7 yr old is now requesting baptism and wants to be catholic. He will probably be validly baptized in the Protestant church and hopefully become catholic in a couple years.

Demonstrate the faith to your family and be patient and respectful with your wife and it will pay dividends. Hopefully your wife will flex and let you baptize the child catholic, but if not, then just move on as best you can and give it to God.

Hope this helps, God Bless you.

 

[kenmiller]

I understand , my mother was Lutheran and Father Catholic . I see the pros and cons to both. And they both have excellent arguments -

But number one is a loving Christian family. Be it Catholic or Protestant , celebrate Christ as the common denominator

 

[Jon_S_1]

I would also add that I think it is important that you be flexible with your wife and she be flexible with you. It would be my hope that you would both attend mass as a family and that you went to her church with her as a family. Maybe that means going to both every week, but that is ok.