New friend's questionable work ethics

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HoneyBea

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So I made a new friend last week and I really like her. She is Japanese and has been so helpful showing me around and teaching me many thing. However, I just found out her husband owns all the nude (prostitute) clubs all around town that promote to military. Anyways, if I were to be honest it initially didn’t bother me, perhaps because this type of environment is familiar even though It’s been years. She mentioned it and it surprised me but we carried on our conversation. Not until I got home I started thinking about how awful this truly is and how many women are exploited and the lust and sin that is glorified. So, now I’m confused about our friendship. What would Jesus want me to do? I feel like this shouldn’t be a reason for us not to be friends but part of me feels guilty for not speaking up almost as if I am now an accomplice. it also make me question their humanity. Even if there is a cultural difference and she isn’t religious due to her cultural. Her husband is American and she basically justified it as a “business decision” nothing more.
 
The only question is, “Will you pull them up or will they drag you down?”
 
In my opinion this is a situation that you should take to your priest and discuss as I feel that there is a grave danger to this friendship yet I can not explain why. I understand the comments already posted but I feel that this is a subject I would ask for advice from my parish priest.
 
If you are close enough as friends, you might just be honest and say, “I have a real problem with your husband’s business. Doesn’t it bother it you how these women are demoralized and abused?”

Of course, there is risk involved. The conversation may not end well. Still, I would rather be true to myself first. Maybe you both will only agree to disagree, but at least she will know how you feel. A true friend should respect that.
 
Why would you want to be friends with these people…if they own clubs and prostitutes work for them in their clubs then they are their pimps!..how do you know that the prostitutes arent victims of human traffiking
 
Although St. Paul tells us “not to associate with the sexually immoral”, I think
this would apply to her husband but not necessarily to her; I mean, it’s possible
she could become Faithful and devout herself, no?

But, if she tries to drag you into it in any way, or continues to talk it up,
I would avoid her too.
 
One more thing, be careful not to get involved in any dealings with the Yakuza over there (maybe I watch too many movies, but that kind of “business” is a magnet for organized crime). Stay safe!
 
Be friendly with her, but follow your conscience on whatever she brings into the friendship.

Have lunch or get together at your house. Go out to appropriate places. Share your beliefs as she gets to know you and be open to her.

Jesus may be using you to bring her to faith, which will move her away from the lifestyle she’s in now. It may be, she’s looking for a way out, especially if her husband is an Alpha dominating male who controls her.

Be loving, Christlike and pray for guidance.

Remember, Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners.

Jim
 
Deus_tecum said:
The only question is, “Will you pull them up or will they drag you down?”
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JimR-OCDS said:
Jesus may be using you to bring her to faith, which will move her away from the lifestyle she’s in now. It may be, she’s looking for a way out, especially if her husband is an Alpha dominating male who controls her.

…

Remember, Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners.
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I have a friend who has lived a very un-Catholic lifestyle, including fifteen years as a swinger. From the start, he joked about whether I would pull him up or he would pull me down (while insisting there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what he does.)

The current situation is that he quit swinging and casual sex entirely 18 months ago. He doesn’t go to these parties anymore. He’s read some C.S. Lewis (and was quite enthusiastic about it.) He’s long since returned to his own daily prayers. He came to Perpetual Adoration with me two weeks ago.

I haven’t suggested any of this. I have said nothing about the way he’s lived, and have simply watched in amazement as God uses this situation.
 
Thanks everyone

Good insights thanks.

I think Im going to tread carefully. I will say though, this couple is nothing like what you may imagine, which is why it caught me by so much surprise when she told me.

Upon meeting them you would never even think they would be involved in anything like this.

She is very modest in her dressing and behavior, well educated and very classy. She is a teacher and has 2 children pre-teen age and her husband is very professional. I dont suspect they are involved in any mafia, but I will be cautious. As far as sex slave or human trafficking, I dont think that this this is the case. These woman come here on their own, in hopes to marry some American soldier, and they have usually already danced in their home country. They come here with a plan and on their own free will. As far as the prostitution, its not technically allowed, but I have no doubt these girls do this on the side, as I have heard stories. The bar itself is a nude bar, but prostitution is the end result even if it isnt the intention of the club or club owners themselves and they have to know this as well I’m sure. We had a short conversation about religion over lunch, she explained to me how Japanese are not religious except once a year on New Years, they go to the temple to pray and give money, but it is not part of their daily lives. More of a tradition than religion. Something about the war suppressing their religion and since then no one is really religious. Anyways, she is a very sweet girl and I think I will continue our friendship and I agree with the suggestion about speaking up. I am going to share with her my thoughts about it and leave it at that. I dont and wont judge her but I do want to share with her my beliefs. So, I will pray for God to give me a good opportunity to do this.
 
Deus_tecum said:
You are sugar coating the situation of the prostitutes.
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Not really. They aren’t sex slaves. Are they being exploited? Yes, I already stated that, but someone suggested human trafficking and sex slaves and I was explaining that this is not the case. Plenty of women willing subject themselves to prostitution. I dont feel I am sugar coating, but rather clarifying this situation.

Ok, but you may have a good point, I suppose it is possible some of these women could be sex slaves and have pimps outside of this “legit” business. I dont know them, so, I guess I am assuming, but as far as I know they aren’t sex slaves of the owner. That was the point I was trying to make, I’m not trying to sugar coating anything, its still prostitution. I am merely trying to make a distinction, because I dont think its fair for me to assume that the owners are involved in prostitution. Prostitution is not legal here, but nude clubs are, so at this point I’m only assuming.
 
bsroufek said:
Although St. Paul tells us “not to associate with the sexually immoral”, I think
this would apply to her husband but not necessarily to her; I mean, it’s possible
she could become Faithful and devout herself, no?

But, if she tries to drag you into it in any way, or continues to talk it up,
I would avoid her too.
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She definitely didn’t talk it up. She seemed embarrassed and brushed over it quickly. have a feeling she told me, because she felt she had to get it out of the way if we were going to be friends. She probably has had to deal with this before.
 
I must admit that something like this would bother me a lot. I don’t think I could be friends with people whose line of work is immoral. I don’t care if it is legal, it is still immoral. Making a judgement about people’s actions is a reasonable thing, because their actions impact us.

People love to mention how Jesus welcomed sinners and did not shun them. True.
But: 1. He did that with the purpose of evangelising and bringing them to God, and not just hanging out with them to pass the time, and 2. we are non Jesus. We don’t have the same power and strength. We are not God.

I hope you meet some other people to spend time with. This just sounds awful to me. 😦
 
The only question is, “Will you pull them up or will they drag you down?”
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Fair question…

The real question is what is your first reaction or response. This should be ‘praying’ for your friend and her family, and discernment about how to help them flee from the enemy; as it would appear that their is a stronghold of sorts intertwined.

I feel for you; as you are thrust into the “aiding and abetting” scenario of your relationship with this person. I would probably confront her about the truth of sexual immorality and your faith. You are gonna be torn between the spirit and the flesh nature and any Christian worth their grain of salt will be in opposition to any form of participation by association of ill gotten practices.

Sometimes we have to make a stand against corruption and immorality and can still be done in a loving manner that is righteous and reaffirming to those around us. Be the light or the lampstand that shines brightly and do not waver in your faith, acting as a vessel that are walking in JESUS CHRIST for others to see; setting truthful, virtuous and moral examples.

**Ephesians 5:10-15

New King James Version (NKJV)**

10* finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says:

“Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

Walk in Wisdom

15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, *

Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 
JimR-OCDS said:
Jesus may be using you to bring her to faith, which will move her away from the lifestyle she’s in now. It may be, she’s looking for a way out, especially if her husband is an Alpha dominating male who controls her.

Jim
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That is an EXCELLENT point! Too often I think we forget that the Lord speaks through us to other people if we are in His good grace. See where this stream takes your canoe. There is no work more important then leading a soul to heaven.
 
I am tired so I probably won’t say this in as charitable manner as I would like to but… as HER friend, I can’t help but think you would show her how she and her kids deserve better. I feel a VERY strong moral obligation to state that no kid should have a dad that owns strip clubs. And she might be from Japan, but if she is now living in the USA she should be made aware that women do not have to put up with being degraded. But at the end of the day… I would be very careful, I can’t help but think one day you will wake up and not know how you got in a situation when they expect you to dance at one of their bars. These people can be VERY manipulative

Angie
 
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