New Here, Problem With Purity! Please Help!

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stjoe22

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Hey everyone,

I’m new on this forum. As a 23 year old male, I’m gravely worried for the state of my soul and I have several huge problems that need fixing. First off I matured early, and have been a consistent masturbator since the age of 12. I have viewed pornography on many occassions, and danced, kissed, and touched numerous girls in an inappropriate and sinful manner. thankfully, the Lord has at least given me the strength to not have given in to the temptation of outright sex. no girl has ever touched my private area, nor me hers. i have however, put hands on a girls bare chest underneath her shirt while dancing. furthermore, even though knowing these things are a mortal sin, i have continued to receive communion and not confess these things. here, I am stuck though. I go to sunday mass with my father, mother, and two younger brothers every week. How can I explain to them that I cannot receive communion? If I did not go up, they would surely know that something was wrong. With confession it is the same. I go with my father usually, and I am afraid that if I confess this to a priest, my confession will last 30 minutes because of the talking to he will give me! I am worried that this will make my father very suspicious of something. I have vowed to find a way to go alone to confession, but so far I have not managed to.

Now despite my sins of lust, I would like to think I am not an entirely lost cause to Christ!Despite my huge flaw in the area of chastity, I have managed to remain a virgin. Recently, through the intercession of St. Michael, I have made great strides in kicking the deep-rooted evil of masturbation. I believe that within the next month I will never find the perverted urge to masturbate again. Furthermore, I try to find time to go to daily mass once a week. I say daily prayers. I am ferverntly pro-life, and I hope to spend part of my life dedicated to ending the grave evil of abortion. I stand up for my pro-life views despite criticism from acquantainces. I know Jesus is the Savior, and I believe it with all my heart! I just hope that it is not too late for me now, after my grave offenses against purity… I take heart in the stories of St Paul and St Augustine. Surely, I am not as lost as they once were?

Now, however, a new dilemma has occured. I have recently met, fell in love with am currently dating the sweetest, most beautiful and loving young woman from Missouri. She comes from a deeply devout Catholic family and recently graduated from Benedictine College. She herself is incredibly holy and partakes in the celebration of the Holy Eucharist daily. I love her deeply, and through her I find a renewal of my own faith. She brings me closer to God through her example. I hope that someday soon we will become engaged. My question to you is, if this engagement materializes, I am obligated to tell her the sins of my past? If I have since gone to confession and fulfilled the requirements for true forgiveness and never turn back to my evil ways (which I know I won’t thanks to God’s love and her love :)) do I need to tell her what I used to do? There is little doubt in my mind that if she knows these sins, despite my true contrition and repentance and prayer, she will not consent to marry me. She is too pure and too good. Please Help and God Bless, pray for me!
 
*HI stjoe 👋 Welcome to CAF, first of all. 🙂

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. Please don’t hesitate to go to confession, and often, to help yourself heal from your iniquities. Since you are 23 yrs old, why do you always have to go with your dad? :o I’d go without him a few times, if you are feeling self conscious. I think it’s wonderful that you go together, but maybe a time or two, going alone will help you feel more open and at ease with the priest. It’s important to your confession.

Regarding your new love situation…(congratulations by the way, it sounds like you met someone very wonderful) you are not required to tell ALL to someone you are dating, or choose to marry. I think it’s important to share such things as your sexual status, if asked. If say a person is not a virgin, he/she should share that type of information,if the other person asks. I asked my husband questions about his past, but I didn’t press. I believe in not holding someone’s past way before they met me, against them. This was with my husband, and with new people I meet in friendships to this day. I don’t think it’s necessary to tell her about your past sins, I think that as long as you keep striving to stay pure …through prayer and confession, you will heal and not turn back to those ways.

Praying that things work out for you. *
 
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