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Karin
Guest
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Karin
Guest
What a joke and no land
…we pay $8525.00
for a 3bed/2 full bath on a 50x100 lot in Bergen County. One of the many gripes I have about Jersey…dont get me started!
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Lizzie
Guest
My heart goes out to the decent folks who live in New Jersey. They are extorted brutal taxes and get nothing but grief in return.
NEA rules and institutes policies to corrupt the children. A weird and nefarious shadow government put a sexual predator in the governors office. Towns/cities that were once stable and law-abiding have been decimated. All of this has been engineered by the so-called politically correct who care nothing about morality or decency.
NEA rules and institutes policies to corrupt the children. A weird and nefarious shadow government put a sexual predator in the governors office. Towns/cities that were once stable and law-abiding have been decimated. All of this has been engineered by the so-called politically correct who care nothing about morality or decency.
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MichaelTDoyle
Guest
Language arts? The language of the newspaper is the real “art”
“Teacher Herb McCaffrey left Mountain View Middle School in Mendham as a man and will return as Kerri McCaffrey, a woman.”
This first sentence is the deceit that sells the rest of the story. This man is not leaving and coming back as a woman; he’s still a man who has injured himself with the cooperation of the medical community.
This is sad for all involved.
“Teacher Herb McCaffrey left Mountain View Middle School in Mendham as a man and will return as Kerri McCaffrey, a woman.”
This first sentence is the deceit that sells the rest of the story. This man is not leaving and coming back as a woman; he’s still a man who has injured himself with the cooperation of the medical community.
This is sad for all involved.
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David_Paul
Guest
I’m old enough not to have been one of your parents. In HS we used to worry about you youn’ins. We only took acid when we were mature enough to handle it. Distressed up greatly to see younger kids imitating us.
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Adonis33
Guest
That’s a horrendously high amount for property tax.
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JMJ_Pinoy
Guest
They certainly do not.
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KathleenElsie
Guest
Now you guys in NJ are making me feel guilty about my “low” taxes. Do you also have wage and income taxes in NJ?What a joke and no land
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Scott_Lafrance
Guest
And sometimes people wonder why I home-school.
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Karin
Guest
Oh yeah…we have all kinds of taxes
aren’t we lucky :nope:
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YinYangMom
Guest
What is so difficult about explaining a sex change to middle schoolers??? The key is to do it from a Catholic perspective, emphasizing charity and compassion. I guess that’s the real challenge for most parents who are so repulsed and angry over the situation.
Look, people, this is the world we live in. Guess what? We can’t hide our children from reality any more than we can protect them - and our children are a lot more accepting and understanding than people give them credit for. What’s a big crisis for an adult is just anothe blip on the screen for our kids. Our job is to help them view everything around them with Catholic eyes and react to them with Catholic hearts.
Basically, you sit the kid down and tell him/her:
There’s been a somewhat big change at your school this summer which may or may not impact you…but in case it does I want you to be prepared for some gossip you may be subjected to. I’m sharing this with you so that you will know how to respond - because you’re Catholic and this is precisely the type of situation you’ll encounter throughout your life which others will judge Catholicism on based on your behavior.
Did you know, or do you remember, Mr. X from language arts? Well apparently he had been struggling with sexual identification for a real long time and decided to do something permanent about it this summer. He underwent some serious surgery and is now Ms. Y. As far as we’re concerned, particularly because we’re Catholic, this is a sad situation for Ms. Y, that she was so confused she felt permanent change was the only way to bring her peace. We certainly hope it does, for her sake, but what she did is not condoned by the Church, so we will be praying for her soul regularly.
However, as Catholics it is not our place to cast judgement on her and it certainly is not our place to treat her badly. We are a people of forgiveness and compassion. It’s not easy to be compassionate and not come across as approving the behavior, but it can be done. When the kids around you ridicule Ms. Y, you need courage to walk away from the conversation or if you can, tell them not to joke about such a serious thing. When you have any interaction with Ms. Y, you treat her respectfully as you do any other elder and teacher. If anyone asks you directly what you think about Ms. Y, you answer honestly: I’m sorry she was confused for so long, sorrier that she had the surgery, and am keeping her in my prayers.
Then you answer any questions the child has, honestly and from a Catholic perspective.
Look, people, this is the world we live in. Guess what? We can’t hide our children from reality any more than we can protect them - and our children are a lot more accepting and understanding than people give them credit for. What’s a big crisis for an adult is just anothe blip on the screen for our kids. Our job is to help them view everything around them with Catholic eyes and react to them with Catholic hearts.
Basically, you sit the kid down and tell him/her:
There’s been a somewhat big change at your school this summer which may or may not impact you…but in case it does I want you to be prepared for some gossip you may be subjected to. I’m sharing this with you so that you will know how to respond - because you’re Catholic and this is precisely the type of situation you’ll encounter throughout your life which others will judge Catholicism on based on your behavior.
Did you know, or do you remember, Mr. X from language arts? Well apparently he had been struggling with sexual identification for a real long time and decided to do something permanent about it this summer. He underwent some serious surgery and is now Ms. Y. As far as we’re concerned, particularly because we’re Catholic, this is a sad situation for Ms. Y, that she was so confused she felt permanent change was the only way to bring her peace. We certainly hope it does, for her sake, but what she did is not condoned by the Church, so we will be praying for her soul regularly.
However, as Catholics it is not our place to cast judgement on her and it certainly is not our place to treat her badly. We are a people of forgiveness and compassion. It’s not easy to be compassionate and not come across as approving the behavior, but it can be done. When the kids around you ridicule Ms. Y, you need courage to walk away from the conversation or if you can, tell them not to joke about such a serious thing. When you have any interaction with Ms. Y, you treat her respectfully as you do any other elder and teacher. If anyone asks you directly what you think about Ms. Y, you answer honestly: I’m sorry she was confused for so long, sorrier that she had the surgery, and am keeping her in my prayers.
Then you answer any questions the child has, honestly and from a Catholic perspective.
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MichaelTDoyle
Guest
Great Post YYM! My only disagreement would be telling the child that Mr. is a Ms. Mr. is still a Mr. Delicate phrasing would be called upon for sure. Our gender has spiritual ramifications; we are called to equal dignity but different (and to me, mysterious) roles, a surgeons knife won’t change that. But a great and charitable post, YYM.
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YinYangMom
Guest
Well, technically, she is now a she even though she was born a he…it really is neither here or there for us because it is between that person and God in the end…
but in your child’s reality, Mr. X now goes as Ms. Y and that is how your child will be expected to address her. It’s a matter of respect for elders/teachers. Even though the person themselves may not deserve your child’s personal respect, your child, being a minor, is obliged to show respect at all times. That is a crucial life lesson.
I can have total disdain for my boss (I don’t, of course) but rules of protocol dictate I cannot show that disdain to him/her at the office. And Catholic rules tell me I can’t share that disdain with others (gossip), nor can I bring it home to share (uncharitableness), so I’d have to take my disdain with me to Adoration to ask Jesus to help remove it from my heart.
Bottom line, as Catholics, we are not allowed to be uncharitable towards lost souls, but we are called to reach out to them, their souls, in an effort to save them. Can’t very well do that if I’m cursing them under my breath every five minutes or can’t bring myself to look them in the eye because I’m so repulsed by their actions.
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MichaelTDoyle
Guest
I really wish you did not see my objection as disdain or cursing this unfortunate person under my breath. My objection was theological.
You make a great point and I agree in regard to respect for elders.
But the child should also know that a gender is given to you by God and though Mr. X wishes to be called Ms. Y and we should respect that out of courtesy, the reality is that Mr. X is still Mr. X and is unfortunately confused.
It would be damaging if one misrepresents reality to a child. The utmost care and charity is called for, but the truth must be upheld. This is a really important truth that I believe Satan is doing a good job of obscuring. This could be an opportunity to discuss reality and perception with a child in plain language.
In charity, truth.
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Karin
Guest
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YinYangMom
Guest
Oh, I see what you’re saying here, and yeah, that’s way too in depth to get into with middle schoolers, though certainly something we can readdress with our children when they’ve become adults…“remember when Mr X became Ms Y? Well now that you’re older, let me explain why it is I always considered her Mr. X…”
For me, I’ve read enough about these people who end up seeking sex changes to learn that the ones who go that far have hormonally been out of whack their entire lives, so I can’t possibly know whether this person biologically has always had the hormonal and spiritual identity of a female all along and are just getting the physical parts to line up to that reality.
Bottom line, God created this person and while I know it is a person, I really am not in the position to determine whether it is male or female (especially in the case of hermaphrodites, where the doctor and/or parents made a choice after birth to go with one or the other). I’ve come to accept it really is between that person and God, and my role in the situation is to treat the person with compassion, charity and respect at all times. That is challenge enough for me in any situation so I tend to focus my energies on fixing myself rather than criticizing others. That person has enough to deal with without me adding to their discomfort or misery.
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YinYangMom
Guest
Oh, not yours in particular, sorry about the misunderstanding!
I was responding to the overall tone of various threads on this board when matters like this come up…it saddens me to see so many really good people respond in such uncharitable ways. It becomes evident that a certain line gets crossed and their tolerance level is maxed out so they dig their heals in the sand and lash out in anger and frustration. While I have my levels of tolerance, it’s when I hit them that I find myself praying the most for compassion because I know I’m called to help those who irritate me the most, not turn away from them.
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MichaelTDoyle
Guest
/off topic of educating children and into speculation mode
It also may be that a hermaphrodite has a cross to carry as do those with hormonal imbalances that cannot be rectified by surgery as do those who have strong SSAD. Such people I think
would be called to great chastity, which is a virtue and perhaps even a great witness. Not all are called to the married state, which is where the gender becomes so important. I think heroic chastity is the doorway to heroic love.
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YinYangMom
Guest
I see what you’re saying, and certainly, if one’s child is capable of comprehending such a distinction, then share it with them…not all kids mature at the same level, so we always have to play it by ear with matters like this. The truth of the matter can be shared at a later time, when the child’s maturity level (emotionally and spiritually) can comprehend and appreciate it fully.
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YinYangMom
Guest
MichaelTDoyle said:
I’d be more inclined to consider that position if the person was allowed to remain a hermaphrodite from birth, but surgery takes place shortly after birth to rectivy the situation - temporarily removing the cross the child was given. For some, the cross is removed completely, for others it is replaced with another once puberty kicks in.
Doctors/parents make a medical decision right after birth as to what kind of surgery will be performed at that time to make the child male or female. The tendency is to remove the female components because there is a higher risk of cancer down the line if left inside, so that destines this child to be a male but when hormones kick in at puberty then the reality sets in and the body makes it evident which gender was more dominant. Those people end up having the surgery to correct the surgery which was performed at birth. The thing is - surgery made the first determination - not nature, so to fault the person for having a second surgery to ‘correct’ the situation seems unfair.
Bottom line for me is that the whole thing is way too complicated for me to figure out how to judge the person, so I leave that up to God while focusing on my own weaknesses when I feel like running away or hiding or lashing out about the situation.
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